I have some etiquette Qs

[bowies]

Invitation addressing (ugh):

Friend has boyfriend, but he's deployed until after the wedding.  She doesn't expect him to be on invite.  Do I invite him anyways?

Cousin has girlfriend and kid.  Is it His Name, Her Name, and Family?

Uncle has adult children living at home (a pair of which are married; you may remember them from redneck wedding).  They all get separate invites, yes?

Uncle and his ex(ish) wife are, uh, off and on to put it mildly.  Do we invite her?  No one really knows if the divorce is final.  Or if they've stopped sleeping together. 

[beebeeeater]

I'd probably put the boyfriend's name anyway. 

Yes, it's His Name, Her Name, and Family.

I would potentially do separate invites. One for Mr & Mrs. Uncle's Name and Family (to include unmarried children living at home). One for Mr. & Mrs. Married Cousin's Name.

I would call and ask Grandma/Great Aunt/whoever is in the know. If you can't get the scoop I would invite Mr. & Mrs. Uncle and if they're "off" then he just won't bring her.

[ECB]

To a point, some of this is about what you know/expect of your family.  I know what *I* would do, but to some of Sue_sue's points - what would your family do?

1- I'd personally invite the BF. If you do it by name, that means HE'S invited, not some random guest.  however, if you give her a 'date', she may feel she can bring anyone.  Are you cool with that or not?  If you aren't, then don't invite him. 

2- I'd do His/Her/ Childs name.  As I just have one child myself, I think saying "and family" is weird.  It's just ONE more name.  Write it out.  AND it will definitely avoid Sue_sues point that saying "and family" could mean he brings other people too!  (Again you know them, though.  Would they actually do this?)

3- yes, each adult child gets their own invitation.

4- This kind of goes back to #1.  If you don't care if the ex comes or not, then no harm in including her.  If they aren't together, then he won't bring her. BUT again, if you put a date on the invite, he might feel he can bring someone else if he doesn't bring her.  Are you o.k. with that or not?

[Deleted]

May 23, 2013 20:40:00 GMT -5 beebeeeater said:

I'd probably put the boyfriend's name anyway. 

Yes, it's His Name, Her Name, and Family.

I would potentially do separate invites. One for Mr & Mrs. Uncle's Name and Family (to include unmarried children living at home). One for Mr. & Mrs. Married Cousin's Name.

I would call and ask Grandma/Great Aunt/whoever is in the know. If you can't get the scoop I would invite Mr. & Mrs. Uncle and if they're "off" then he just won't bring her.

I would do this. 

And I just wanted to say, miss you beebeeeater!! 

[Muddled]

I would invite the BF anyhow. It's nice to feel included even when there is no way you can possibly go.

Write the kid's name. There's only one of them.

Yes. Separate invites for the marrieds.

Probably smart to ask him. The other option is to put her name on the invite and just let him choose (or give him a +1). Asking would avoid any awkwardness for him, though.





BeeBee Sighting!!

[bowies]

Alright, so, guess we need to figure out how to spell that child's name. Because, yeah. Ten bucks says she's a Bumpie.

FI found out over the weekend that the adult children have all recently moved out of the house (hooray!) so uncle emailed him their addresses. And copied his XW on the email (...the fuck?). But the wedding invite for his uncle is going to his address, not XW's address, so there was no reason for her to be informed. XW then emailed FI and was all "we're so happy for you guys, blah blah blah." So now we've been inserted smack dab in the middle of whatever drama they've got going on. FI asked about Aunt So-and-So when he talked to his uncle on Sunday, and he was all "she's a heinous bitch!" but then FI's other uncle tells him they're still together(ish) and that was the booze talking.

I'm suddenly thankful that my parents are (mostly) only children. We'll probably put both uncle and his XW's names on the invite and let him decide if they're able to attend a family function together. I don't much care if he brings her or some other woman, to be honest.

Lest you think FI comes from a family of trainwrecks, it's really only his two uncles (brothers) and their children. Uncle #1's daughter is in the police academy right now and Uncle #2's son is freshly out of jail, so that should be a lively mix of guests.

[Muddled]

OMG. His uncle is such a mess.

Glad you've gotten everything worked out.