@-related: Toddlers and dinnertime

[redheadbaker]

DS is 18 months old. Up until he was about a year old, he happily ate whatever we ate for dinner. Around a year, he refused to eat anything except a select few dishes (basically mac and cheese and quesadillas). 

I don't want to be a short-order cook, but S.O. doesn't want him to go to bed hungry, so often caves and makes him baked chicken nuggets or pasta. 

Anyone "been there, dealt with that"? Advice? 

[josieposy]

We had that issue for a little while too. What more or less works for us is offering up a nice variety (protein, veggies, fruit, carb, etc) and they eat what they eat. If they don't eat well sucks to be them. They'll get a decently healthy snack later, but I'm not running a restaurant so we offer up what we offer up and that's it. They have yet to starve, and many times they'll eat what I offer them if it's on my plate rather than theirs (mom and dad's plates are always more interesting for some reason).

Now that said, some days are better than others. I try not to fall into the trap of offering up the same stuff all the time, which is easy to do because i'm always so busy. That is why I'm working on meal planning with DH now.

[hopecounts]

What we did was follow my Peds advice offer the main dish you make and then something you know he'll eat (banana, yogurt, raisins, whatever) eventually she outgrew this phase an went back to eating mostly what we fix, though she stil has days where she doesn't eat much.

[redheadbaker]

During the week, S.O. cooks, since he gets home before me. DS usually has something (applesauce, yogurt, cheese stick) to keep him occupied while S.O. is cooking, so I know he's not starving.

I'll start including a variety in what we offer. I was sort of surprised he wouldn't touch what I made tonight (chicken, tomatoes and orzo). I thought he'd at least eat the orzo.

[pescalita]

We've had some trouble with this, but he doing better lately. We offer whatever we're eating, and if there's just nothing he'll try, or if he's really missing a nutrient, we'll give him banana, toast, or cheese stick.

So far it's worked to just keep offering. He went for awhile where I thought he'd never touch a tomato, and last night he ate a whole one.

[josieposy]

OMG I used to take it so personally when I would spend an hour cooking something nice and the kids wouldn't eat it. Toddlers are little jerks. Lol!

[annieblah]

We offer what we are having, but keep yogurt, Sprout Butternut Mac and Cheese and fruit readily available. I know he won't starve so I try not to worry, but leaving it there until he decides to eat it means dogs get a nice dinner. So, we do the yogurt thing. It is the kind mixed with sweet potatoes so I am a-ok with it. LT is 2 and goes through phases. I'll probably not want to do this forever, but I also want to not dull down our food for things he will always want. He will try any pasta, so that is good, even the goat cheese raviolis we had last night. Man, pasta is his second love.

[redheadbaker]

I think having him enrolled in daycare has helped, too. We get reports that he eats things like eggplant rollatini, chicken alfredo with roasted peppers, etc., at lunch, plus fruit, yogurt, etc., for snack, so I know he's getting a variety of foods there.

[redheadbaker]

May 25, 2013 18:02:25 GMT -5 annieblah said:

We offer what we are having, but keep yogurt, Sprout Butternut Mac and Cheese and fruit readily available. I know he won't starve so I try not to worry, but leaving it there until he decides to eat it means dogs get a nice dinner. So, we do the yogurt thing. It is the kind mixed with sweet potatoes so I am a-ok with it. LT is 2 and goes through phases. I'll probably not want to do this forever, but I also want to not dull down our food for things he will always want. He will try any pasta, so that is good, even the goat cheese raviolis we had last night. Man, pasta is his second love.

Back in January, I made pumpkin mac and cheese. DS ate two helpings. He LOVED it.

I, however, did not love the effects the next day. 

[livinitup]

My heart broke when my everything eater became my 18 month old nothing eater. Sad trombone. I did the present and encourage thing. I usually had at least one go-to thing that I *knew* she would eat - like a meatball or cheese. Or rolled ham. I did a batch of meatballs and froze them for easy reheating. Ham was usually in the fridge and didn't make me a short order cook. Fresh mozzerella, etc. So she had the option of eating what we were serving, plus a gaurentee for nutrition. Back up yogurt and cheese sticks at night, too.

It's a tough phase, but now she's back to eating what we eat. It takes work. It's worth it.

[pamela]

Is it every night he's being picky or just a lot of nights? DS goes through cycles every few days where he will eat everything in sight, then practically nothing for a few days. He also much preferred what was on our plates to his at that age. If I know over the course of a few days he's eaten plenty of variety, I don't worry too much about him being hungry any particular day. I do make sure to offer extra milk and maybe a piece of bread before bedtime if he really ate nothing at dinner (before teeth brushing).

[meshaliuknits]

My little punk kid will eat anything that's served at daycare or comes in the form of a free sample. But at home its a crapshoot for non-breakfast foods. We've taken to giving her a side of applesauce or yogurt with her dinner so she eats something.

Idk if she plans on outgrowing this nonsense, but some nights she surprises us and will eat snap peas and rice.

Sent from my EVO

[hopecounts]

If he's eating we'll at school and having a snack once home he may just not be that hungry.
It sounds like you're handling it well so just keep with it and this'll pass again for awhile.

[ringstrue]

Just because your kid eats something different doesn't mean you are a short order cook. Kids are picky. Their taste buds are hyper sensitive and texture is a huge deal to them. There are plenty of normal adults who only ate a handful of things as kids.

Dd eats cucumbers or apples slices along with a variety of other things. We have boil a bag rice packets for her, tater tots, tortilla wraps, etc. to go along with it. It's not really "cooking" for her, kwim? My main concern is that she eats, eats at the table, and has as positive of an experience as possible doing those things. And comes out of it being told she is "a good eater". The love of variety will come naturally as a child's parents eat a wide variety and as they mature.

[redheadbaker]

May 25, 2013 18:31:05 GMT -5 pamela said:

Is it every night he's being picky or just a lot of nights? DS goes through cycles every few days where he will eat everything in sight, then practically nothing for a few days. He also much preferred what was on our plates to his at that age. If I know over the course of a few days he's eaten plenty of variety, I don't worry too much about him being hungry any particular day. I do make sure to offer extra milk and maybe a piece of bread before bedtime if he really ate nothing at dinner (before teeth brushing).

It's a lot of nights. If it's pasta, or a quesadilla, he'll (usually) eat it. 

I feel better seeing that others will offer something out of the fridge if the kid won't eat dinner. I've seen other moms say they won't make LOs their own separate meals, and I wondered if that included offering ANYTHING other than what was being served for dinner. 

[redheadbaker]

OK, I feel a ton better after reading all the replies here. Thanks!

[eponinepontmercy]

We have similar issues. DD will always eat pasta, cheese, hummus, applesauce, yogurt and fruit. Anything other than that is a crapshoot She eats everything at daycare, which is why I'm not too worried. She gets a decent range of food at home, and will surprise us by eating black beans like skittles once in a while.

DH gets all nervous and begs her to eat. I get so annoyed because I keep telling him that she doesn't need to eat as much as he thinks she does, and she'll eat if she's hungry. If she doesn't want her dinner, we'll usually give her a fruit cup or a cheese stick. DH tried to name all sorts of things to see if she wants him to make her something else. I'm more of a hardass, and I'll convince him why he should be, too.

I remind him that I'm the one on anti-anxiety meds, and if something isn't worrying me, he should really lighten up about it.

[pescalita]

I'm not into the short order cook thing because it's extra work, but a banana is not extra work. FWIW, I've heard it's more important to make the table a positive and drama-free zone than to refuse to give in to their demands.

[peachdragon]

If she doesn't eat dinner, she'll go to bed hungry. It won't kill her. I tell her that she can eat in the morning. 

[ECB]

I'll let DS eat something different, but he gets ONE choice.  I make that.  If he doesn't want it?  Tough.  I won't make multiple options for him if he says "no" to something that HE asked for.

[IIOY]

May 25, 2013 19:07:18 GMT -5 @dontcallmeshirley1 said:

May 25, 2013 19:00:32 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

It's a lot of nights. If it's pasta, or a quesadilla, he'll (usually) eat it. 

I feel better seeing that others will offer something out of the fridge if the kid won't eat dinner. I've seen other moms say they won't make LOs their own separate meals, and I wondered if that included offering ANYTHING other than what was being served for dinner. 

People love to talk about what hardasses they are about what their kids eat. It's a load of nonsense.

I tried this for a while with my son, who is the pickiest child on the face of the planet, and he just went to bed hungry every night.  The problem is that he is scary skinny and I just don't feel comfortable not feeding a child that barely registers on the scale.  Hunger also = behavioral problems.  Fortunately he likes fruit and veg, but aside from that he would gladly live on ham and cheese sandwiches or sun nut butter and jelly sandwiches. 

I've basically come to the conclusion that there are worse things in life than a picky eater, and while I refuse to whip up a gourmet meal just for him, making a sandwich is no big deal and hopefully he will come around to eating what he sees the rest of us eating.

[karinothing]

DS is 19 months and eats dinner about half the nights of the week. Honestly, I think a lot of the time he isn't hungry because he eats enough throughout the day. Anyway, whenever I make dinner I always make one thing that he likes. So if I make chicken curry and veggies w/rice I know that he will eat everything. But the other night we had lemon chicken with couscous and a veggie. He only wanted the veggie, but he ate a ton of veggies.

However, there are other nights where he doesn't want anything I made (even if I know he likes it). If he is generally happy and just not eating I don't worry about it. If he is is crying and saying "more" I usually make him something else. These days are pretty rare so I don't worry too much about it.

Anyway, my pedi told me it is common for toddlers to not be hungry by dinner time if they eat well during the day.

[carowen]

My LO is 22m, and similar to PPs he would eat anything/everything up until about 18m. Then his growth screeched to a crawl and so did his appetite, add in learning to say "No" just because he can say it, he was no longer the little foodie he was at 12m. I typically make a mix of meat/fruit/veg/starch at most meals but throughout the day he tends to eat something from each. Dinner is a mix, if he eats well during the day, then dinner is light. And some days he eats more than others, I've not been able to figure out any rhyme or reason to his eating patterns. One day he loves bananas and eats a whole one, the next he takes one bite and is done.

If your LO is getting a snack right before dinner, he's probably not that hungry so he's not going to eat as much or at all. Their stomach is pretty small, so it may help to cut out that snack and see if LO eats more at dinner. Barring some other health concern, kids won't starve themselves. Skipping dinner won't kill them. It's up to you whether you're comfortable with the substitute option, IMO there's nothing wrong with doing or not doing that. But I've heard it's a good idea to have it be something LO will eat, but isn't crazy about, otherwise they may always choose the substitute, kwim? But picky eating/skipping dinner is very common at this age.

[Bree Van de Kamp]

May 25, 2013 22:16:56 GMT -5 peachdragon said:

If she doesn't eat dinner, she'll go to bed hungry. It won't kill her. I tell her that she can eat in the morning. 

I didn't even know that was an option.

[livinitup]

My heart broke when my everything eater became my 18 month old nothing eater. Sad trombone. I did the present and encourage thing. I usually had at least one go-to thing that I *knew* she would eat - like a meatball or cheese. Or rolled ham. I did a batch of meatballs and froze them for easy reheating. Ham was usually in the fridge and didn't make me a short order cook. Fresh mozzerella, etc. So she had the option of eating what we were serving, plus a gaurentee for nutrition. Back up yogurt and cheese sticks at night, too.

It's a tough phase, but now she's back to eating what we eat. It takes work. It's worth it.