A BYOE (bring your own everything) party

[eddy]

I guess I have no issue with these parties. I like to get together with people and don't mind bringing stuff.

Sometimes it is just nice for a host to organize the time and provide the space.

[studytime45]

Wait, WTF?

So does that mean, like, food and drinks? Or cups, cutlery, chairs, etc??? Where is the line drawn?!?! lol

[Deleted]

WTF?  I would refuse to go out of principle because that's ridiculous.

[eb777888]

I think it's kind of strange, yes.

[pantsparty]

I don't mind bringing a side dish and booze, but I like to think if someone is hosting they are in some way...well, hosting. Providing something to their guests. Is he grilling or anything?

[wambam]

I mean, if it were a casual "come on over" thing, I would understand. But an actual party, that's weird.

[EmilieMadison]

Sounds like a potluck? Right? I mean, to phrase it as "BYOE" seems strange, but people have potlucks all the time. Unless he is literally providing nothing but the space, I dont see it as a problem unless you wouldn't really want to go in the first place.

[McGavin]

This is weird. I'd probably just eat before and bring only booze.

[sake]

its kind of weird, but I guess maybe he wants everyone to get together to hang out, but possibly doesn't have the $ to provide food and drinks for everyone??
I would probably just eat before I went, and just bring some beers to drink.

[Deleted]

If it bothers you that much, don't go.

[aprilsails]

I have a single guy friend who has an awesome property. He hosts bbqs and bonfires bi-weekly and it's pretty standard in our group of friends that he asks us to bring over "meat, beer and a lawn chair".

However, he is super house poor and we are using his place. He has to clean up and he does a lot of setup work. I don't mind in this scenario. I think it's a judgement call based on your group of friends.

I also find whenever we host a party at our place that so many people show up with food and drinks that it's crazy for me to prepare everything myself. We now buy enough food for everyone but we make sure that it can be frozen and will keep over to the next event since everyone shows up with a platter of something or other.

[Jalapeñomel]

Tell him you'll bring cups.

[rodeored]

No way would I truck everything I needed for dinner (if that is what is being implied) to someones house. I would eat before I went and then bring along whatever we were drinking and a bag or two of chips or something.

[emptygee]

May 28, 2013 8:18:31 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Sounds like a potluck? Right? I mean, to phrase it as "BYOE" seems strange, but people have potlucks all the time. Unless he is literally providing nothing but the space, I dont see it as a problem unless you wouldn't really want to go in the first place.

But BYO implies that you're bringing it for yourself. With a potluck you at least get the benefit of being able to eat other people's food too. This sounds like you're just bringing your own food and drinks and hanging out at his house.

[Deleted]

Wtf.

If you don't want to pay for anything, invite people to meet you for dinner.

[ECB]

May 28, 2013 8:23:08 GMT -5 emptygee said:

May 28, 2013 8:18:31 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Sounds like a potluck? Right? I mean, to phrase it as "BYOE" seems strange, but people have potlucks all the time. Unless he is literally providing nothing but the space, I dont see it as a problem unless you wouldn't really want to go in the first place.

But BYO implies that you're bringing it for yourself. With a potluck you at least get the benefit of being able to eat other people's food too. This sounds like you're just bringing your own food and drinks and hanging out at his house.

This is why this sits wrong w/ me too.  In my neighborhood, it's a given that all parties are potluck.  People can bring an app or wine (or both if they really want) and it all works out - plenty of food and alcohol for all.

But "BYOE" does put into question - will you be sharing, or not?  And the host does at least provide plates/cups/etc.

[eddy]

May 28, 2013 8:22:43 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Omg, people. Get a grip.

Thank god you are my people.

I like getting together with people. I especially like it if they are opening up their home so I don't have to make the effort. If that means I have to bring some meat and a sixer I am down.

A couple weeks ago we attend a party just like this. I didn't even bat an eye. BUT the hosts did pay for babysitters to watch our kids so that was awesome. I will GLADLY bring food if you have arranged for someone to watch our rugrats.

[rodeored]

I don't think anyone has a problem bringing a dish of something or some meat and drinks but everything? I don't like my coworkers enough to go through the hassle of packing "everything" along with me.

[saraandmichael]

May 28, 2013 8:29:21 GMT -5 eddy said:

May 28, 2013 8:22:43 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Omg, people. Get a grip.

Thank god you are my people.

I like getting together with people. I especially like it if they are opening up their home so I don't have to make the effort. If that means I have to bring some meat and a sixer I am down.

A couple weeks ago we attend a party just like this. I didn't even bat an eye. BUT the hosts did pay for babysitters to watch our kids so that was awesome. I will GLADLY bring food if you have arranged for someone to watch our rugrats.

right!?!

having a party is expensive. and its nice to have a place to go where you can actually talk and hang out and have fun instead of sitting in a restaurant or bar and having to talk super loud or move around the table so that you're not stuck in some weird conversation about nipple hairs and hemorrhoids.

not to mention, i usually bring something to eat and my own drinks to a party anyway. i kind of don't see the big deal.

[saraandmichael]

May 28, 2013 8:36:45 GMT -5 Que? said:

May 28, 2013 8:29:21 GMT -5 eddy said:

Thank god you are my people.

I like getting together with people. I especially like it if they are opening up their home so I don't have to make the effort. If that means I have to bring some meat and a sixer I am down.

A couple weeks ago we attend a party just like this. I didn't even bat an eye. BUT the hosts did pay for babysitters to watch our kids so that was awesome. I will GLADLY bring food if you have arranged for someone to watch our rugrats.

Hey bitches! Wanna come over? I have red solo cups, some cutlery, and I could probably pull a salad together. Bring meats, booze and maybe chips? In return, I promise awesome music, back shelf booze if we decide to get crazy, and maybe a single neighbor or two for KA. 

ok? That was easy. 

i'm inviting myself.

[Kit]

Can you just ask him what he really means? Maybe shoot an email and tell him you'll bring XXX and XXX, do you need to bring cups/plates, too, or will he be providing that?

I assume if you are close enough where he's inviting you to his home, you're close enough to just ask him what he means, right?

[Deleted]

Yeah, i think it's just really odd phrasing. I'd only be really annoyed with this if it was a wedding or something. lol. For a gtg at someone's house- meh, I kind of assume I'll need to bring some food to share and my own booze.

[eddy]

I also wouldn't take the invitation to mean you are bringing your own paper plates or other stuff.

Bring a dish to share, some drinks and have fun.

Or just don't go.

[vanillacourage]

May 28, 2013 8:12:02 GMT -5 bricco said:

So... my co-worker just emailed our team saying he would like to host a party this Friday or Saturday and to please respond with which day works best for us.

So, he's not even providing the party date?  lol

[Deleted]

Get a grip, people.

[Dusky]

Eh, I'm not too horrified by this. It is fairly common for my friends to have "parties" where everybody grabs their own takeout on their way to the person's house. I'll admit, I would find it a bit odd coming from a coworker unless the team is super close.

[walterismydog]

this doesn't bother me at all and I often go to parties like this. among my circle, it's just known to bring things - we are like a community of food and drink lovers. everyone wants to share their creations or latest beer find.

[FastHands]

Yeah, I think it's the wording and not the concept that induce the "um, what?"s. Maybe he's just never heard of the phrase "pot luck"? I wouldn't care either way, but his note is ambiguous about whether you're bringing a big dish to share, or bringing whatever you (personally) want to eat. I'd just ask him to clarify.

ETA: I would not, in either of these scenarios, expect that I would be bringing my own plates/silverware..

[Deleted]

That's how we threw parties in college! Lol.

It sounds like he wants to get together and is providing the house in which to do so.

If everyone brings something to snack on and some bevs, it would be fun.

Wording is weird though. Maybe he was trying to make fun of the situation.

[snickers]

May 28, 2013 8:14:35 GMT -5 studytime45 said:

Wait, WTF?

So does that mean, like, food and drinks? Or cups, cutlery, chairs, etc??? Where is the line drawn?!?! lol

This would be my question. I don't mind (actually I would rather) bringing my own food and drinks, and maybe a chair. But not cutlery etc.