Do you think the definition of "Nest Poor" has changed?

[Deleted]

I was just thinking back this morning, inspired by Peach's post.

When I first joined in 2006 it was all girls with disposable income in big nice new shiny houses with the drapes, furniture and artwork totally coordinated in their tan wall, black furniture, hand commissioned painting style. Every other day their were posts about high end furniture stores, $80.00 a gallon paint, Anthropologie bedding and nothing less than the fine china for appetizers and craft beers with your friends. 

I generalize. I joke. You all know what I mean. I almost didn't come back after a week, because it was a lifestyle I couldn't roll with at all.

Now I feel like there's so many more posts about old houses, redoing furniture, garage scores, digging handmedowns out of your Mom's, the clearance rack at Target and admitting you had friends over to grill and down a Miller Lite.

There's also a lot more PIPing going on about "This is what I already own. I'm not buying more. Tell me what do with it!" I also see a lot more admitting that spaces/houses need work, but it's a slow process and we're okay with it. It doesn't need to be perfect in a day. Even the girls with the shiny new awesome houses seem very real about it, that they didn't do it all at once, had some dives beforehand, didn't need it ASAP etc. It's like being "Nest Poor" is the new classy thing to do.

So...whether my priorities have changed and I quit caring or there has been a shift..you're all my kind of girls lately.

What say you, H*G. Talk to me.

[thewop]

I think those people who had lifestyles like that left the board (or created their own fancy blogs ) and over time H&G boards became what they are now, more practical and "real life". I still feel "nest poor" compared to a LOT of people here though.

[Deleted]

Jun 1, 2013 9:52:22 GMT -5 thewop said:

I think those people who had lifestyles like that left the board (or created their own fancy blogs ) and over time H&G boards became what they are now, more practical and "real life". I still feel "nest poor" compared to a LOT of people here though.

This is true. I guess they moved on to bigger and better stuff.
I still feel Nest Poor somedays too, but I've come to realize it's a matter of priorities as well. Some people have lavish vacations but budget groceries and clothes to the last cent. Others like higher end home decor, but don't care about clothes or cars. Others are into landscaping and stuff for their kids while others like $$ jewelry and bags. I just like average all around, so I can have a little of everything.

[thewop]

Jun 1, 2013 9:58:41 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

Jun 1, 2013 9:52:22 GMT -5 thewop said:

I think those people who had lifestyles like that left the board (or created their own fancy blogs ) and over time H&G boards became what they are now, more practical and "real life". I still feel "nest poor" compared to a LOT of people here though.

This is true. I guess they moved on to bigger and better stuff.
I still feel Nest Poor somedays too, but I've come to realize it's a matter of priorities as well. Some people have lavish vacations but budget groceries and clothes to the last cent. Others like higher end home decor, but don't care about clothes or cars. Others are into landscaping and stuff for their kids while others like $$ jewelry and bags. I just like average all around, so I can have a little of everything.

Very true.  It's all about different priorities.

[magdala]

Very true. I will get jealous of the fabulous vacations that some take but fancy vacations aren't something we prioritize.

[peach]

Those girls have their own private board now. The couldn't handle mixing with us po folk any more.

[tarheels]

Jun 1, 2013 9:52:22 GMT -5 thewop said:

I think those people who had lifestyles like that left the board (or created their own fancy blogs ) and over time H&G boards became what they are now, more practical and "real life".

This.  I think those girls just moved away and those of us who are left are pretty similar.

[pitterwoo]

I enjoy all the different styles and perspectives, so I don't really mind feeling nest poor sometimes and like others said I know our priorities are going to be dIfferent than others. I do really like that so many people here are very real about having budgets and have actual DIY knowledge vs strictly talking about decorating.

[Deleted]

Jun 1, 2013 13:17:04 GMT -5 pitterwoo said:

I enjoy all the different styles and perspectives, so I don't really mind feeling nest poor sometimes and like others said I know our priorities are going to be dIfferent than others. I do really like that so many people here are very real about having budgets and have actual DIY knowledge vs strictly talking about decorating.

This is where I was headed with this/what I mean. You summed it up in shorter words. There was a time here where I felt like anyone with a budget was getting scoffed at.

[pitterwoo]

Jun 1, 2013 14:15:45 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

Jun 1, 2013 13:17:04 GMT -5 pitterwoo said:

I enjoy all the different styles and perspectives, so I don't really mind feeling nest poor sometimes and like others said I know our priorities are going to be dIfferent than others. I do really like that so many people here are very real about having budgets and have actual DIY knowledge vs strictly talking about decorating.

This is where I was headed with this/what I mean. You summed it up in shorter words. There was a time here where I felt like anyone with a budget was getting scoffed at.

yeah, that would not be fun.  I assume that people just moved on, but I don't know.  Back on TN I only swung by the board from time to time and didn't have a bad time, but it was mostly about starting with a blank slate in a new builder home so I just didn't relate to that.

[Deleted]

Jun 1, 2013 14:28:33 GMT -5 pitterwoo said:

Jun 1, 2013 14:15:45 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

This is where I was headed with this/what I mean. You summed it up in shorter words. There was a time here where I felt like anyone with a budget was getting scoffed at.

yeah, that would not be fun.  I assume that people just moved on, but I don't know.  Back on TN I only swung by the board from time to time and didn't have a bad time, but it was mostly about starting with a blank slate in a new builder home so I just didn't relate to that.

I will say I felt like it started to get a lot better about 2008ish or so. I don't know if the economy tanking or stupid nest drama started the change or what. I had a blank slate builder house but it was still simple and I remember people outright making fun of me (And not in a good way) when I first joined because I liked things simple. Along with my droll little boring life. I was so over the "country bumpkin, redneck" speel that I pretty much chewed them all out one day  and then took a break for a bit..lol.

Ever since then, it's been great. There's some good girls on here who have helped me a lot both on the internet and IRL. It's been amazing.

I don't know if I just didn't take it right or what at that time.

[pitterwoo]

glad you stuck around @justdairy. I like hearing about your life. I do think the economy gave a lot of people a reality check. And some of it probably was all of us being younger and maybe just starting out and bringing whatever expectations of what that looks like with us.

Personally, I think I take everything better now. When I think back to the shit that I was worried about at work or at home back when I first got married it's ridiculous. Just the other day I was thinking about the things that H and I just roll with now that used to cause fights. Wisdom of age ftw.

[jhawks482]

I honestly think the recession of 2008/2009 had a lot to do with it. I remember the Nest days of big houses, silk PB drapes, perfectly outfitted guest rooms, Etc, pretty much everything you describe. I wasn't really ever one of those people but I definitely had a much larger disposable income to spend. With layoffs and people going down to one income, you sort of have to evaluate more where your money goes. I quit working full time when Cam was born, so I hopped on the DIY/build/re-finish everything train that a lot of others hopped on.
The people on the board at that time were all about decor all the time- people were more Awish of their progress and homes, so I think it fueled others to keep up. On a Monday it was all "look at what I bought at Crate and Barrel and Pier One!!" and now it's all "look at what I made off Pinterest!". I think what changed is people's state of mind in a down economy, and even though the economy is looking up these days, lot of people's DIY skills and general attitudes toward frivolous purchasing have remained strong.

[ssmjlm]

I came here in 2007 when we started house shopping and yeah everyone was all about status dcorating. I also remember that there was a poster with a gorgeous house and it wasn't until later she admitted they were renting and didn't even own it.

Then again a lot of those houses were nms bc they were all about the tans am darker colors. Sorry red wine on the walls was never for me, I've always been a coastal girl. I still covet Holly's style bc it's light and airy.

Dairy you've always been one of my fav posters bc I like that you are about having a home vs a house.

[heygrey]

i wasn't hanging out on D&R then, but i so wouldn't have fit in. regardless of my budget, i really enjoy the hunt. the process of deciding exactly what i want, researching, finding a good price, maybe waiting to get it second hand, and the actual victory of bringing it home. the longer i spend looking for an item, the more rewarding it is.

i like what we have now, and i like that people generally are working within a budget. it's real life, it's relatable.

[emoflamingo]

It's okay, @justdairy, I didn't really fit in either.

[rugbywife]

I don't feel nest poor but I am occasionally jealous of how much house you many of you in the US can get for way less $$ than we can where I live, and even more jealous of the people who can afford to build their own. But then I realize that I am not willing (nor able because of work) to live elsewhere, therefore this is my reality.

I am usually very impressed by how much you guys can make happen without spending millions.

[aimeedyan]

I've been around a looooooooooooooooong time. Pre-Nest, actually. This board has always ebbed and flowed through the years. During the height of it's activity on the Nest, there was a circle of popular girls that had what you're describing, Dairy. And I think it seemed like everyone else did but I honestly think it was just the inside crowd that did and they got all the attention, so it made the entire board seem that way. Those of us without that kind of space/money didn't post as much because, well, it was ignored anyways so why bother?

I'll never forget someone ripping a picture from my nest bio and starting a new thread to make fun of it. We were just starting out, with hand-me-down furniture, and I was stupid enough to post pictures of our home. At the time, I was just darn proud that we had something of our own! I definitely learned my lesson

Those girls have all moved on - either to private boards, busy with their kids, or their own blog empires.

That said... I also think that it's trendy to make over furniture, thrift store, take ideas from blogs, DIY, etc and that's showing up in home design too and therefore our board. 7-10 years ago, it wasn't the thing to do and the home decor on the Nest represented that.

[ktzmoh]

I definitely wasn't around then. I tried the nest for a ny minute after my knot days, but we were in school and most certainly not buying a house or having a baby, and we didn't even have two nickels to rub together. So I really felt like I had nothing to talk about and left for a while. I can imagine getting super annoyed at a board lie that. Sounds mean and although I've not been around these parts for long, I can't imagine people starting threads to make fun of another member.

I like tat this board has a nice blend of real know-how, real budgets, and a variety of styles. I like that people here value having a home vision and making it work in their own personal reality. And reimagining handmedowns/thrift store finds or things we've had for a while just makes sense! There's a much bigger world out tree than pottery barn.


And @buster, It's hard for me to imagine a monthly play money budget of 2k. You aren't the only one.

[Deleted]

Thanks girls!
All very true points.
AimeeDyan you make a good point about it not being the thing to do 10 years ago and it being all the rage now. Whereas then PB and C*B were still new and exciting.
And I don't know if the girls of yore really meant to be that mean or if it was there way of "breaking" us in. Some of them were really nice but they had a sarcastic personality that was fun for a minute, but could go sour fast.

Other than my "backwoods" life I got reamed once because I had no problems with drop in guests and was like 1 poster of 100 that didn't in an epic thread. It turned into this whole thing about how I must never like being naked. Followed with a "I feel sorry for your H then" followed with a "You have no house standards."

It was hilarious all around. Even then. Someone took me too seriously in that post..ha.

[Deleted]

Jun 1, 2013 18:23:41 GMT -5 ktzmoh said:

And @buster, It's hard for me to imagine a monthly play money budget of 2k. You aren't the only one.

True that. My ENTIRE budget for the month is less than 2k...I can only imagine if I had 2k in play money.

[SusanBAnthony]

I peaked in the nest H&G board for a hot second and then I quit. No thanks.

I definitely feel like the board currently is a realistic mix. My house spending money these days is 100$ a month so..... and that includes furniture, too. The June plan is shelves in the garage, that is it, lol. 2K a month? That is way more than my mortgage!

[heygrey]

Jun 1, 2013 14:09:36 GMT -5 @buster said:

I just finished reading someone's budget on MM.  Their fun money for the month was 2K. My fun money for the month is way, way, way, below that and my fun money is also, eating lunch during the week and buying small things for the house or DD.

you're only looking at half the story there, though. That amount included a lot of things other people would pull out into separate categories like clothing, gifts, gas, gym memberships, some savings, etc. While its still more than I have for those categories its not like she's blowing $2k on throw pillows every month. 

[pitterwoo]

Jun 1, 2013 21:46:13 GMT -5 @buster said:

Jun 1, 2013 20:12:14 GMT -5 heygrey said:

you're only looking at half the story there, though. That amount included a lot of things other people would pull out into separate categories like clothing, gifts, gas, gym memberships, some savings, etc. While its still more than I have for those categories its not like she's blowing $2k on throw pillows every month. 

Uh no, I read the whole post. She included gym membership, blah, blah blah. Thousands were also put into investments, separately blah, blah, blah. I never said she was blowing 2K either. I'm saying the amount of free money that I get to spend is tiny. Like super tiny. Like the size of the period at the end of the sentence. I read it so well, that I even know it was 1K per person, not 2K to one person.

I don't remember her coming over here much or at all, but if she did and wanted to show us her $$$ decorating choices that seems fine to me as long as it's not snarky and intolerant of where other people are at. Maybe I'm just missing the point as to why her income is being brought into this thread.

[heygrey]

but dairy's post was specifically about h&g. not mm, not other posters on other boards. there has been a shift on h&g, regardless of what's happening elsewhere.

it's uncool to bring someone else's budget into a thread that never included her. especially when she specifically stated that she was nervous about posting her budget to begin with.

[Marmee]

I've been around since before the Nest too (Your New Home on the knot baby!) & the home focused board ebbed & flowed. I posted tons when we did our first reno 2003-2006. It was not like what you describe then. Then I moved & had a couple babies (i think i was one of the first few posters on the nest parenting board poster) popped in & saw what I think you are describing to some degree. Mainly i had left for a spinoff mommy private board from parenting. I did enjoy all of renovators but the decorators of new(ish) builds like Haute Mama, MrsKew, Natalie#, the chick whose dog bit her kid, MrsBryant, G&D seemed super cliquish & totally turned me off that board even though I was fixing up my 2nd house, a craftsman bungalow. At some point they all disappeared (I believe to start blogs) & it was back to more diversity & kinder replies. I started lurking again & have occasionally posted ever since. My interest in decorating really declined as I had children (4!) & needed/wanted to spend money elsewhere. I still like DIY but rarely have time for it myself. Pottery barn & the other national chains got stale & boring. Remember that PB circle candle holder everyone had above their bed? I love more one of a kind decor on a variety of budgets & styles. I don't feel nest rich nor poor & never really have...even when my first house was $128k & we lived on one very modest income. I dig the vibe here & did most of the time on the knot/nest aside from those mean girl (lol) years.

[finally]

I have been on the board since 2005 and agree with you.  I used to look at some bios and think "Wow, how do they have enough money for that???"  DH& I earn a respectable salary and still could not afford the homes and decor that so many were posting about.  I just imagined lots of credit card debt for a lot of them.

I remember being all excited to post my $25 faux tin backsplash that I thought was awesome and thinking twice because it wasn't "real".  I felt like there were two groups "The Have's" and "The Rest of Us"

But like many said, they have all left and I like this group so much better!!!  No pressure to keep up with The Joneses anymore - just really good, real life stuff for "The Rest of Us"

[Deleted]

Thanks again girls.
I like the "Haves" and the "Rest of us!" Finally. That's about how I used to feel.
And yeah, you see a lot more pictures from me now, because everyone seems more interested.
I also feel like my interest in decorating has increased since I had kids..so I'm opposite of most of you. Ha. After I had Hope I was so bored I had to fill my time. Then I had Rubes in the hottest summer on record and had to kill time with a newborn in the house somehow. Same with the past two cold winters. Changing throw pillows, moving around artwork, trolling overstock for new sheets was a fast easy quick fix for me. As was a trip to Target and goodwill just to get out.

[davescatch]

I have been around a long time too - since 2003, when the nest d&r was the popular place I did meet some really nice people that I have gotten to know thru their own blogs. But I live in a 1922 Cape Cod style house with old furnishings, and about 1400 sq feet. I don't mind being nest poor at all! Back then I wouldn't DARE post even one pic of my house as I knew it would get ripped to shreds. Here? I would feel comfortable posting pics - I don't think any of you are the type to judge. And losing my son last year has completely changed my outlook on life....no more waiting for things. We are spending less and less time cleaning/house projects and more time together as a couple, doing things we truly love and that give us peace inside. Yes, we tackle the occasional house project of two but we don't stress over it anymore.

I have so many memories of those D&R days!!! The free ceiling tiles, big fork and spoon, trolls, the "always kiss me goodnite" sign, PB overprices items, etc......those were good times!!!

[Deleted]

Go over to the Money Matters board. Being "nest poor" is still very very real

But if we are just talking about this board I think there has been a definite shift.  I like being able to relate more!