I didn't post on The Nest until shortly before the migration, so I wasn't around to experience any of the nonsense that I'm reading about. I can't believe anyone tearing apart anyone's home for any reason, whether it be too large, too small, furnished by spending boatloads of money of an entire DIY project from room to room. I know I have the kind of home that has always been looked at with a certain degree of disdain, the (gasp) McMansion, blah, blah...yetI have always been comfortable enough to post pictures because I have never felt judged one way or the other.
I think there is a nice mix of ladies on this board and I think I have learned a lot from all of you, regardless of the size of your home, your decor style or the amount of disposable income you may have left after every paycheck.
I lurk on this board mostly & from the nest days - as we will probably be considered nest poor with our renovation we're doing. We look at it as our investment and future $$ for either our children or if we need to sell in old age.
Where we bought, the house cost close to $1 mil at the height of the housing market. We bought for well over less than half in 2011 and knew we got a deal. Our reno is pricey, but we'll still have less in a house we love on a lot we love than buying it 5 years ago.
I do feel there has been such a shift in perspective (which is a good thing), in that a few years ago you'd tout how many $100k you spent on a reno, whereas now we'll be bragging about our sweat-equity projects in our house
Interesting perspectives girls. I hope I don't offend anybody. I have yet to tear anyone's house apart and I can say that honestly. I see what you all mean about the disdain for McMansions. I don't think it has anything to do with the McMansion personally, or you all personally has posters. I just think those of us around 10 years ago got so tired of the constant touting of my $1M builder best mansion with the PB drapes, all the granite and SS anyone could wish for, the butler and the maid. There was a time if you didn't have that you were nobody and I think it's carried over in a guilt trip to the rest of us..lol..kwim? I love all the different houses for sure! I really don't care where anyone lives as long as you love it.
I am sorry if I came off like I was offended; my daughter interrupted my ProBoardsing! I was (ineffectually) trying to add a different perspective, but I see how I sound butt hurt!
@justdairy, I feel you on the old attitude. I got married 8 years ago, and I was a beebee bride, so the D&R board just made me feel like I would always be poor! I completely agree with what everyone was talking about throughout the thread of how before the recession, people used to spend a shit ton of money on showing off, and that has become passe.
I think what I am trying to articulate (again, horribly), is that some of the things that the old RICH (whether actually rich or rich to show off on the internet) D&R people did is something that is happening on a smaller scale for a lot of posters, and they may not feel as confident to post about it because of the impression they can get while trying to jump into the board. For instance, I just had to buy sofas because I moved into a SFM home from a 2 bedroom apartment. I've lived in a condo or an apartment for almost 7 years now, and the house we had before was nothing to brag about. I honestly just need some damn furniture, and we are old enough that it is time for some adult pieces. So we went to PB, because it was easy, I like the stuff, I can wash the slipcover, and it was in our budget. I would have loved to ask you ladies about my sofa choice because I spent $3-4k on two sofas (and that shit is really money!), but I kind of feel like even saying PB here makes me look like a douchebag. But, I probably am a douchebag about that sort of thing, so maybe I should just own it!
@crackhabit Honestly, that is why I lurk here all.the.time. You ladies are SO helpful in helping me identify what my house is missing character-wise, and I've gotten so many ideas, tricks, and tips here.
Over all, honestly, I would rather people make fun of people spending too much than too little any day, and I don't think there is a ton of any kind of teasing here that isn't well meaning, if any. I think this board really is a supportive place, and that people are much more creative here than they used to be. I love how many different decorating styles are represented!
Oh. I knew you weren't offended. It just made me think and I didn't want anybody to be. I also have no problem with PB and the like. I troll through it from time to time too. It's cool. As long as you don't come on here "It's PB and ONLY PB! Look at my AWESOME PB! couch! Did you hear that! I said PB!" LOL. HA.
I have been around forever (since Your New Home..or whatever it was called), so I remember all of the 'haves' vs 'have not' things over the years.
I felt like there was judgement from both camps. A number of the 'haves' did seem to be overly snobby and there just to show off, but there were a few who seemed just genuinely interested in decorating and wanted to share, not there to be mean. A lot of those homes were beautiful (nms, but they were pretty), but so many were not decorated with any personality...they looked like model homes, store displays or magazine photos, and not in a good way. ;p I often felt that there was something wrong behind all of those 'perfect' facades. And some of them actually lived in lcol areas so all of that extravagance was actually pretty affordable and not so extravagant.
On the other camp, there were people who seemed to have a chip on their shoulder, like the little kid who says, 'well I didn't want to play with your stupid toy anyway!'. I know some of the mean girls did their best to make others feel inadequate, but there were always people around who understood that everyone had different tastes, different incomes and circumstances, and tried to have the board be more like this one is.
I really dislike the term 'nest poor', because to me it discounts the members of the board that did not/do not have the same prejudices as the mean girls. Also, I sometimes feel like people who wear their 'poor' badge so proudly often try to make others feel bad for spending money,and forget that it is just as rude as someone scoffing at them for not having expensive items. Sometimes the 'haves' are just in a different place in their lives.
Because of choices that we made in our marriage (getting married while in college, having kids young, me being a sahm), we were in the 'have not' camp for many years. I needed to be creative and learn to get the 'the look for less' and not harp on what I didn't have, since I had the life that I wanted. We are just now in a place where have the money to spend on a house and 'real' furniture. I have had enough 'disposable' furniture over the years (and still do) that I am not going to feel bad about finally spending money on something of quality, but I will admit that the thought of committing to a piece of furniture that will last 'forever' is anxiety inducing.lol
Sratsey...I never think of you in the same way as the old nest McMansion people, because you are not like those people. You have never come on here to say that you are better than anyone else, which was all those women were about. It was actually sad. Your home is stunning because you have style and good taste and have put it together in a way that is inspiring. It is a home...something real, and not just a pretty picture out of a catalog (although your house is magazine worthy for sure).
The board is so diverse, with people at all different stages in their lives and careers, different cost of living areas, different circumstances, different priorities, and everyone has something to offer that someone else can learn from. Style and taste have no economic boundaries. One person's experience is another persons resource and is valuable. Inspiration comes in all price points, and creativity can make it happen at any price point.
I was never intimidated by the people with the big homes and PB everything. I prefer my mix of thrift store finds. What I was intimidated by was how clean and perfect everyone's home looked. They seemed to always be blog ready. That is why I never posted pictures much before.
ETA I started here after g&d and that posse had left. Back then the bigwigs were Holly, bryn, Makena, Mrspaz, ginabee and they all were super nice.
I was never intimidated by the people with the big homes and PB everything. I prefer my mix of thrift store finds. What I was intimidated by was how clean and perfect everyone's home looked. They seemed to always be blog ready. That is why I never posted pictures much before.
I loved it when everyone admitted that their houses only looked like that for the photos, that they moved all of the clutter out the room before they took the pictures. Someone even posted pictures of what it really looked like normally...it was quite refreshing.
I think that was when people started posting more 'real' photos with disclaimers to ignore the mess. lol
Post by emoflamingo on Jun 3, 2013 14:21:52 GMT -5
rvan0905, I think I was in a similar "beebee bride" boat. Hell, my husband couldn't drink at our wedding. So yeah, we were young and poor. But we also owned our first house before he could legally drink (by almost a year) so I felt proud about it. I didn't really care if anyone judged my stuff (I proudly posted pictures of my god awful red dining room with the weird melted clock and now I question my sanity and maturity) but I think that's a lot of who I am. I like feeling like I'm liked, but if you dislike me for my dining room then I am all 'whatevs' about it.
I am also super distracted and I want to not be working, but I am. So there is also that. Hopefully that made sense up there lol.
Nest-poor to me has always been a tongue in cheek kind of saying. In all my time on the Nest and GBCN, it's always felt like the demographic has been comprised of young people with high paying careers and a lot of disposable income. It's not so prevalent on this board right now, but you could hop onto a few of the other sub-boards here and find it easily. We're comfortable financially, but we're not maxing out our IRAs with money leftover for $$$ purchases and retiring at 40.... thus, we're Nest-poor.
I agree that there has been petty cattiness on both ends of the spectrum. I do what I do and ignore the nay-sayers. Old houses aren't my thing. Open concept isn't my thing. I adore my 90's cookie cutter McMansion with it's mix of flea market finds and Pottery Barn pieces. It probably is a hot mess to some, but it's me. That's all that matters.
Sratsey...I never think of you in the same way as the old nest McMansion people, because you are not like those people. You have never come on here to say that you are better than anyone else, which was all those women were about. It was actually sad. Your home is stunning because you have style and good taste and have put it together in a way that is inspiring. It is a home...something real, and not just a pretty picture out of a catalog (although your house is magazine worthy for sure).
I was never intimidated by the people with the big homes and PB everything. I prefer my mix of thrift store finds. What I was intimidated by was how clean and perfect everyone's home looked. They seemed to always be blog ready. That is why I never posted pictures much before.
I loved it when everyone admitted that their houses only looked like that for the photos, that they moved all of the clutter out the room before they took the pictures. Someone even posted pictures of what it really looked like normally...it was quite refreshing.
I think that was when people started posting more 'real' photos with disclaimers to ignore the mess. lol
Yea, I remember when people started confessing to having a secret room where all of their junk was stored. I was so happy...lol.