Travel anxiety

[catsarecute]

We are going to Kauai on Sunday. We'll only be there for three full days (arrive early afternoon Sunday, leave Thursday morning). My husband wants a totally relaxed vacation doing nothing but sitting by the pool or on a beach.

I have pinpointed three beaches to visit for each day. Poipu Beach, Hanalei and Lydgate. We are staying just north of the airport. I keep reading and researching areas and my "want to do" list grows and grows. I don't want to sit on the same beach for three straight days nor do I really want to spend time at our hotel pool. We are on an island with GORGEOUS beaches! I can sit by a swimming pool anywhere!

Does anyone else get anxiety about how to spend their time and balance the wishes of their significant other? I'm so excited to go but worried about trying to fit too much in when all I really have planned is to drive to the beach, sit there and enjoy it.

[Deleted]

Yes, my H and I are exactly the same. I want to see and eat everything to ge tthe most bang for our buck while he sometimes just wants to lay at the beach and relax. This is especially true for Hawaii since it is so $$ to get there. We do try to do a mix of activities so we are both happy. I do think that Kuaui is more relaxing as there is not much to do/see/eat imo. You should definitely see the Waimea Canyon and the Na'Pali coast though. YOu can schedule activities in the mornings and beach time in the afternoons. Everything is closed after about 8-9 pm so lots of downtime there.

[travelingjen]

I struggle with this same concept on every vacation I take with my fiance, although it has gotten better with every trip we take! I am a go go go traveler while he prefers to sit by the pool or beach all day long. Basically, we are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

What works better for us is to meet in the middle each day. I would prefer that every meal and activity is planned out in advance while he would prefer that everything is done on a whim. We have compromised and now we always make dinner reservations in advance but for breakfasts and lunches we have a list of contenders and select the restaurants that work the best for our schedule. In terms of activities, if we are doing a specific tour or excursion I plan those ahead of time but otherwise we have a list of things we want to see and again, like the dining, we see how each day goes but make no set plans to be at x location at x time.

Also, as we are planning out lists of restaurants and things to see/do, I always seek his opinion. While I end up selecting the specific restaurants that end up on our list, I might ask what type of cuisine he is interested in eating and then I will find the best restaurant within the cuisine’s parameters. For activities and sightseeing we generally each have equal say (i.e. he picks three places and I pick three places).

This compromise seems to be working quite well and although isn’t absolutely ideal for both of us, we both each get to see and do things that we want and are happy with our travel experiences

[udscoobychick]

BF and I are like this, too, except he's the go-go-go one, and I like to relax. What worked well for us while we were in the Bahamas a couple months ago was that we'd have a little time to both each day. So, maybe we'd wander around Nassau in the morning, grab lunch downtown, and then we'd head back to the condo early afternoon for a few hours of lying on the beach. Or we would relax on the beach in the morning and go sightseeing in the afternoon/evening. It worked out nicely.

[keweenawlove]

DH and I just got back from Kauai. It is a beautiful place and I agree, it would be a shame to only sit by the beach the whole time. Luckily, DH and I were able to settle on “adventure in the morning/relax on the beach in the afternoon” for the most part.

Honestly, I wouldn’t include Poipu or Lydgate on my list if I was only going to 3 beaches. This is just my opinion of course but I think both of those beaches more well known because they’re child friendly. Poipu is right in the main resort area and Lydgate has a breakwall area that makes for calmer water. They’re both much more crowded than the much prettier ones on the north shore.

Can you pick a beach that would let you explore if you got bored but still let your DH lay around? Hanalei would work for this since it’s close to their shopping area. Other examples I can think of would be Ke’e Beach (you could hike the start of the Na Pali coast trail, which it would be a shame not to see), Tunnels or Hideways (good snorkeling right off the beach), or Secret Beach (if you keep going to the left, there’s secret lava pools that are fun the explore).

[catsarecute]

Jun 12, 2012 14:15:27 GMT -5 keweenawlove said:

DH and I just got back from Kauai. It is a beautiful place and I agree, it would be a shame to only sit by the beach the whole time. Luckily, DH and I were able to settle on “adventure in the morning/relax on the beach in the afternoon” for the most part.

Honestly, I wouldn’t include Poipu or Lydgate on my list if I was only going to 3 beaches. This is just my opinion of course but I think both of those beaches more well known because they’re child friendly. Poipu is right in the main resort area and Lydgate has a breakwall area that makes for calmer water. They’re both much more crowded than the much prettier ones on the north shore.

Can you pick a beach that would let you explore if you got bored but still let your DH lay around? Hanalei would work for this since it’s close to their shopping area. Other examples I can think of would be Ke’e Beach (you could hike the start of the Na Pali coast trail, which it would be a shame not to see), Tunnels or Hideways (good snorkeling right off the beach), or Secret Beach (if you keep going to the left, there’s secret lava pools that are fun the explore).

Thanks for the tips! It would be shame not to see the Na Pali coast but I think any type of hiking is going to be a no go for my husband. I don't even plan on bringing shoes/clothes to hike in really. Perhaps next time.

I'll make sure to note those beaches and see if we can fit them in! Thanks again!!

[winterbride1220]

I am the GoGoGo person of our group and I have to limit myself. I sometimes get up early to do excursions on my own and meet my husband for lunch.

It was tough at first to feel like I'm "missing" something but overall I try to enjoy the sky, sounds, etc and make the most of the quiet places. I practice photography if I get bored! Namaste~

[catsarecute]

Jun 12, 2012 15:09:32 GMT -5 winterbride1220 said:

I am the GoGoGo person of our group and I have to limit myself. I sometimes get up early to do excursions on my own and meet my husband for lunch.

It was tough at first to feel like I'm "missing" something but overall I try to enjoy the sky, sounds, etc and make the most of the quiet places. I practice photography if I get bored! Namaste~

Good advice! When we were in DC last summer, my husband wanted to sleep in but I wanted to go to the Pentagon so I went without him. I think I might have a few mornings like that in Kauai! Just me and my camera.

[sunshine608]

Jun 12, 2012 15:09:32 GMT -5 winterbride1220 said:

I am the GoGoGo person of our group and I have to limit myself. I sometimes get up early to do excursions on my own and meet my husband for lunch.

It was tough at first to feel like I'm "missing" something but overall I try to enjoy the sky, sounds, etc and make the most of the quiet places. I practice photography if I get bored! Namaste~

I'm the same way. I will say that on our last vacation H tried to keep up with me and it made me realize just how much I do.

Our biggest issue is day/night activities. I like to get up and out while H likes to sleep in and relax and start the day late ( like 1 or 2). I also will do an excursion or two on my own while H sleeps in b/c I feel like I can do that at home.

[misshark122]

Jun 12, 2012 14:15:27 GMT -5 keweenawlove said:

DH and I just got back from Kauai. It is a beautiful place and I agree, it would be a shame to only sit by the beach the whole time. Luckily, DH and I were able to settle on “adventure in the morning/relax on the beach in the afternoon” for the most part.

Honestly, I wouldn’t include Poipu or Lydgate on my list if I was only going to 3 beaches. This is just my opinion of course but I think both of those beaches more well known because they’re child friendly. Poipu is right in the main resort area and Lydgate has a breakwall area that makes for calmer water. They’re both much more crowded than the much prettier ones on the north shore.

Can you pick a beach that would let you explore if you got bored but still let your DH lay around? Hanalei would work for this since it’s close to their shopping area. Other examples I can think of would be Ke’e Beach (you could hike the start of the Na Pali coast trail, which it would be a shame not to see), Tunnels or Hideways (good snorkeling right off the beach), or Secret Beach (if you keep going to the left, there’s secret lava pools that are fun the explore).

I agree with this. Poipu was meh. The north shore was bomb. But I didn't like ke'e beach, other than that it's the start of the napali coast trail. Tunnels is gorgeous and secret beach is fab!

[keweenawlove]

Jun 12, 2012 14:22:09 GMT -5 catsarecute said:

Jun 12, 2012 14:15:27 GMT -5 keweenawlove said:

DH and I just got back from Kauai. It is a beautiful place and I agree, it would be a shame to only sit by the beach the whole time. Luckily, DH and I were able to settle on “adventure in the morning/relax on the beach in the afternoon” for the most part.

Honestly, I wouldn’t include Poipu or Lydgate on my list if I was only going to 3 beaches. This is just my opinion of course but I think both of those beaches more well known because they’re child friendly. Poipu is right in the main resort area and Lydgate has a breakwall area that makes for calmer water. They’re both much more crowded than the much prettier ones on the north shore.

Can you pick a beach that would let you explore if you got bored but still let your DH lay around? Hanalei would work for this since it’s close to their shopping area. Other examples I can think of would be Ke’e Beach (you could hike the start of the Na Pali coast trail, which it would be a shame not to see), Tunnels or Hideways (good snorkeling right off the beach), or Secret Beach (if you keep going to the left, there’s secret lava pools that are fun the explore).

Thanks for the tips! It would be shame not to see the Na Pali coast but I think any type of hiking is going to be a no go for my husband. I don't even plan on bringing shoes/clothes to hike in really. Perhaps next time.

I'll make sure to note those beaches and see if we can fit them in! Thanks again!!

I'm not sure where you draw the line with hiking vs walking to a beach but just in case your DH can't handle much, I'll warn you it is a little trek to get to Secret Beach. I did it in flip flops carrying a cooler but it's a good 5 minute walk down a fairly steep hill. Totally worth it though! I could have spent all day there.

[misshark122]

Jun 12, 2012 16:05:02 GMT -5 keweenawlove said:

Jun 12, 2012 14:22:09 GMT -5 catsarecute said:

Thanks for the tips! It would be shame not to see the Na Pali coast but I think any type of hiking is going to be a no go for my husband. I don't even plan on bringing shoes/clothes to hike in really. Perhaps next time.

I'll make sure to note those beaches and see if we can fit them in! Thanks again!!

I'm not sure where you draw the line with hiking vs walking to a beach but just in case your DH can't handle much, I'll warn you it is a little trek to get to Secret Beach. I did it in flip flops carrying a cooler but it's a good 5 minute walk down a fairly steep hill. Totally worth it though! I could have spent all day there.

If I can hike down to secret beach, ANYONE can. It's a little baby hike. It's nothing. I wore my flippy floppies.

[basilosaurus]

I just tell H what we're doing, and he enthusiastically agrees. I couldn't imagine trying to travel with someone with wildly different interests.

I think a reasonable compromise on Kauai would be planning for long picnic lunches at the beach, bookended by more adventurous activities.

If you won't hike Na Pali, what about a sunset cruise? Then you can still see it and be doing something more interesting than sitting by a pool, even if it's still sedentary. You can also drive up Waimea canyon and see it from that angle.