So the neighbor kids just blew H's mind.

[meggers5]

Eeeee that's awkward. Is H going to ask the dad?

[speckledfrog]

It very well may be that it's just the kids.

[Deleted]

Whoa, dude. Are they Palestinian by ethnicity or, like, just arrived from the Middle East last week?

[jenna]

My SS comes up with some pretty stupid shit. We think he gets it from school.

Granted, the neighbor kids are young, but this stuff doesn't always come from the parents.

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2013 20:38:58 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

It very well may be that it's just the kids.

Yeah.

My kid says some reeaaalllllyyyyy weird crap sometimes. I have no idea where he gets it.

[meggers5]

Jun 3, 2013 20:40:40 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

I dunno. Should we? This is totally new territory for us.

I think I would talk to the parents. If it's the kids coming up with this on their own, the parents would want to know to correct them. If it's something the kids are learning at home, I would want to know so I wasn't always wondering if my neighbour was a giant douche or not.

[sake]

maybe the parents tell them that THEY are only allowed to marry other people with their own skin color? But they don't really care about what you, or other people in interracial marriages do... Where I grew up, there were literally ONLY white people. And some of my friends had parents who didn't really give a shit who other people (outside of their family) married, but they didn't want their own kids marrying outside of their race. YES, as an adult, I realize that this is still VERY racist, but they didn't really come out and say " oh, suzy is bad, b/c she married dan and dan is black" they said things like "suzie can marry whoever she wants, but we don't want you to marry a "insert other race here" guy."

Still bad, definitely. But I'm just saying that maybe they aren't talking shit about you directly....

[margotmacomber]

I thought you meant blew his mind in a good way and I came in for a heartwarming kids story.  :/

Kids are fucking stupid sometimes.  Today while I took DD to the Dr. with me (no child care) she told her all about how she poops and pees and wipes her vagina and her butt and no poopoo in the panties that's bad.  SHUT UP

I'm sorry.

[Kristinmo]

My guess is that they just usually see people of the same race together so they have decided that's how it "has" to be. I wouldn't say anything to the parents.

[texassmith]

I don't know, I think it could be the kids. DD #1 is starting to be aware of things like that and has asked about interracial or gay couples, I guess because its not in the context of what she sees at home. I just explain different kinds of families as best I can.

But it could totally be the parents either. Tough situation.

[W.T.Faulkner]

Jun 3, 2013 20:44:34 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

Jun 3, 2013 20:42:04 GMT -5 sake said:

maybe the parents tell them that THEY are only allowed to marry other people with their own skin color? But they don't really care about what you, or other people in interracial marriages do... Where I grew up, there were literally ONLY white people. And some of my friends had parents who didn't really give a shit who other people (outside of their family) married, but they didn't want their own kids marrying outside of their race. YES, as an adult, I realize that this is still VERY racist, but they didn't really come out and say " oh, suzy is bad, b/c she married dan and dan is black" they said things like "suzie can marry whoever she wants, but we don't want you to marry a "insert other race here" guy."

Still bad, definitely. But I'm just saying that maybe they aren't talking shit about you directly....

I could absolutely see this, if they asked their parents why and it somehow turned into "but you should only marry people like you."  Or something.  

I could definitely see this happening.  My college roommate was told time & again that she needed to marry an Indian guy who shares her faith, and that that's the only kind of man that her parents would accept into her family.  Although she doesn't think interracial marriages are bad/weird for other people, the explicit understanding for HER life was that she needed to marry an Indian guy, and when she was younger, it was probably "you need to marry a man like you and that's how you'll be happy."

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

They're just being kids, I bet. Mine come up with weird crap about how things are SUPPOSED to be all the time. Luckily, Kristen usually says it to me so I can WHAT DO YOU MEAN TWO BOYS CAN'T DANCE TOGETHER in private.

I think.

OMG.

[meggers5]

Even if it is just kids saying dumb stuff, or misinterpreting things they've heard, as a parent (which I'm not) I would wan tot know.

But the explanation of the parents that the kids have marry people of the same colour makes a lot of sense.

[PeonyParty]

Jun 3, 2013 20:44:59 GMT -5 Kristinmo said:

My guess is that they just usually see people of the same race together so they have decided that's how it "has" to be. I wouldn't say anything to the parents.

This would be my assumption as well. They are probably used to their own parents and family and most likely don't have anybody in their lives in an interracial relationship so they assume that's how it's "supposed to be". Kids are crazy with assumptions.

Funny tangent: I was listening to the radio the other day where they asked what people's most embarrassing moments were and this lady called about the crazy shit her kid says and cited one example of a time he was so sick she needed to use a suppository to stop the vomiting. About a year later, she was touring a new school with the kid and he blurted out "My mommy shoves batteries up my butt!"

[angelaa73]

eh. I wouldn't worry about it. When Ray first moved to America, he asked his dad what happened to some airline employee. his dad was like wtf are you talking about and ray (6yrs old) freaked out and wanted to know 'how the guy got all burnt up" and cried. welcome to america, ray. We have black people!

kids try to make sense of their world in weird ways, man

[LLL]

It might just be kids being kids though. Noah told us that he didn't think boys could marry boys and that's not something we had ever mentioned (no worries though, we set him straight gay:)

[Jermys]

Oh Jesus, Edith told me the other day that girls can only marry boys. I was like "Nuh uh...girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys if they want. You can love whomever you love." and she was like "Nuh uh! Girls are only supposed to marry boys, Mom!" and I was all "That's horse crap. X has two moms and Y and Z have two dads...that's not wrong!" and she was all "Wellllll. I guess so. But Q said..." and I was all "Q doesn't know jack. Q is five. I'm 38. I'm telling you right now, boys can be in love with boys and girls can be in love with girls."

She's known gay couples her whole freaking life and it took one dumbass five year old to tell her it was wrong.

[meganew]

I'd bet its just kids saying what makes sense to them. I've heard some weird shit come out of some kids mouths.

Like when one little girl decided she didn't feel like playing with her BFF at recess one day, but didn't want to hurt her feelings, so instead told her, "I want to play with you, but my mom says I can't because you're brown."

The mom (who we knew said no such thing) was mortified. Her daughter just said the first thing that made sense without realizing it was incredibly hurtful. I bet this is what happened, especially if you guys are so friendly with each other. 

[LLL]

I wouldn't say something to the parents unless there was a feeling of true disrespect. I would be mortified if my adult neighbors approached me about the dumbass thing my child said thinking he learned it at home.

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2013 20:43:12 GMT -5 margotmacomber said:

I thought you meant blew his mind in a good way and I came in for a heartwarming kids story.  :/

Kids are fucking stupid sometimes.  Today while I took DD to the Dr. with me (no child care) she told her all about how she poops and pees and wipes her vagina and her butt and no poopoo in the panties that's bad.  SHUT UP

I'm sorry.

I always laugh at what you post.

I think I have a girl crush on you.

[wildfloweragain]

It might just be the way kids are sorting stuff out in their heads - like maybe that's what they mostly see so they think that's the way it should be. My kids think you have to drive around the pier after getting ice cream. Because that's what usually happens.

I had a student come down to get something she forgot in my classroom hours after school was over. DH (then FI) was in there with me - he had brought me dinner. She asked if we were going to get married and I said yes. She said "I don't think you should because you don't really match. Hey - you know who he matches, Miss Otherlady!"

Miss Otherlady is DH's sister. They look a lot alike (red hair, freckles..)

[rugbywife]

Jun 3, 2013 21:21:58 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Oh Jesus, Edith told me the other day that girls can only marry boys. I was like "Nuh uh...girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys if they want. You can love whomever you love." and she was like "Nuh uh! Girls are only supposed to marry boys, Mom!" and I was all "That's horse crap. X has two moms and Y and Z have two dads...that's not wrong!" and she was all "Wellllll. I guess so. But Q said..." and I was all "Q doesn't know jack. Q is five. I'm 38. I'm telling you right now, boys can be in love with boys and girls can be in love with girls."

She's known gay couples her whole freaking life and it took one dumbass five year old to tell her it was wrong.

I think this is an important sentiment/thought. There comes a point when children 'trust' their peers more than their parents.  


And in part it is what some parents try to circumvent when they teach their kids that they can 'only marry from within their culture', because they know that over time other influences will begin to intervene, so they are very clear cut and forceful in their communication of their expectation (an expectation that I personally feel is wrong but parents get to raise their kids however they choose when it comes to these kinds of things).  I work in a high immigrant area and I know a lot of the parents of my students work hard to maintain their cultural beliefs (many of which I disagree with) despite being exposed to other values. 

[cheeseandcrackers]

kids are weird

[Deleted]

I was going to comment on a kind of funny tale about my daughter encountering people of colour, but don't want to be flamed, as I can't make it not sound racist and certainly don't want to offend anyone here. I was mortified mind you but can't say it without sounding awful.

[Deleted]

aw, man, i'm sorry about this nugget. it may well be kids just mouthing off random stuff, they're so weird. my kid got it in her head that only girls can have long hair and only boys can have short hair. we've been working on that one and after WEEKS she finally saw a woman with short hair and got it. WEEKS.

[eb777888]

Jun 3, 2013 21:27:02 GMT -5 meganew said:

I'd bet its just kids saying what makes sense to them. I've heard some weird shit come out of some kids mouths.

Like when one little girl decided she didn't feel like playing with her BFF at recess one day, but didn't want to hurt her feelings, so instead told her, "I want to play with you, but my mom says I can't because you're brown."

The mom (who we knew said no such thing) was mortified. Her daughter just said the first thing that made sense without realizing it was incredibly hurtful. I bet this is what happened, especially if you guys are so friendly with each other. 

Oh Jesus! I would be so mortified.



David said his favorite friends are the people with the brown faces and I asked him why and he said "because I love it." lol. oookay. I never have any idea how he will react to stuff or wtf crazy shit will come out of his mouth. Just last week he said he wanted to take a knife and fork and cut up daddy and eat him because he loves him so much. WTF? lol.

[eb777888]

And really, I have no idea if David thinks people of different colors should be together. I can totally imagine my 4 y/o saying that. I'm not saying that you should talk to the parents but I would definitely want to know if my kid said that so I could correct him and ask him why he felt that way.

[Deleted]

My friend, who is Hispanic married to a very white woman, reported with horror on Facebook that his daughter (blonde/blue/rosy cheeks like mom) told him she didn't like the black and brown kids in her class because they are boring. He tried to talk her around, she insisted no, she only liked people who are white like her. She did say that she didn't mind her father or sister (who looks like the dad).

So my point is sometimes kids just say these things. To the abject horror of their parents.