4 year olds are the devil, right?

[scarletbandit]

I only have to do drop offs and pick ups when DH is out of town but I dread it as well. It seems like I always get bad reports. DS is 4 also. No advice, just wanted to let you know I feel your pain. 

[daisyheadmaizie]

I found 4 to be especially trying, because they are smart enough to know exactly what your triggers are and what buttons to push. Also, they are at that age where they think they can do everything on their own and know everything, but obviously they cannot. And, 4 seemed to be when the high drama theatrics really kicked in. 5 has been lots and lots better. Hang in there.

[firedancer49]

I feel you. I have been dreading pick ups the past few weeks. I'm about to go in my car and scream. Dh has been gone for a week and its fucking everything up on top of w new house. Lots of change for her. Her bed time has always been between 730 and 8 and the past few days it 9 or 930. She just lays in bed yelling "moooooooomy I cant sleeeeeeeeep". Fuck me in the eye.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using proboards

[snickers]

4 year olds are the devil.
I wouldn't worry too much about the bad reports at the end of the day, you have no idea how many kids get "bad reports". Most kids don't have perfect days. It's no indication as to how your kid will be in a year or two. Kids will be kids. As long as you love em

[EmilieMadison]

Hell yes. 4 year olds are the devil, and are only moderately better, as a whole, than the "I want to sell you to the gypsies" 3 year old stage.
It ends...uh...maybe college? I KID (sort of). So far 5 has been the most positive turning point age for both of my kids. So hang in there!

[Kristinmo]

:'(Nooooooooooooo! I was hoping it would get better after 3.

[lilafowler]

I've just discovered that 2 was a breeze compared to 3. Are you telling me it gets worse? Nonono

[nahoku]

Jun 5, 2013 7:59:57 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

Thanks guys. I'm relieved to know that I'm not raising the spawn of satan and that this is all pretty normal 4 year old stuff.

I'm just exhausted. I don't know if it's period related but I swear, this week I have felt like just jumping in a car and never coming back. LOL

I'd bet it's period-related.  I feel like that monthly (and, damn, this reminds me that I forgot to take my meds this morning).

I hope this passes soon, puddle!  DD has been a challenge lately, too.

[eddy]

Puddle have you sought out like your local AHEC for resources? I can't remember what you had done in the past.

We did for some behavior problems with Jack when he was around 3. We were able to meet with the child physiologist who helped us so so much. Just giving us ideas of how to cope, what was reasonable to expect, etc etc.

[beautifulfields12]

((Puddle)) I can completely relate. I never thought a 4 y/o could rock me to my core. My son seems to have some anger issues and goes from 0-60 in 1 second when he does not get his way. We have taken him to a behavioral therapist for a while. It has helped a little, but I am starting to think it is a phase.

I, too, have days that I just want to never look back. But this too shall pass. I hear 5 is awesome. Fingers crossed.

[candreco]

Yes, 4yo's are the devil. My 6yo niece is a pretty functional, reasonable little person, so I'm holding out hope for then.

[idoinjuly]

Yeah, I thought fours were supposed to be better than threes? DD's behavior seems worse. She's demanding, she's throwing these epic tantrums that seemed to have developed over night, she's constantly telling me that I'm not fair or that I'm a mean mommy.

[idoinjuly]

Oh, and yes, their bad behavior is magnified X 1000 when I'm on my period. I'm an awful mom to them during that time.

[eddy]

Can I make one more suggestion that made a HUGE difference in behavior for us. Limiting tv. I know I know it sounded like a death sentence to me. Maybe she doesn't watch much tv. But we got into a terrible habit once Leo was born. It was like a free reign and he was an entitled, whiny brat because of it. Now he only gets a half hour of tv a day. It is in the morning after breakfast. that is it. Nothing after work. He doesn't watch tv at daycare. No other electronics either.

It was rough to start the new habit, but OMG it has been an amazing turnaround. I don't know why it is. He is just so much happier and less demanding now. Less fits. More engaged at dinnertime. Oh yeah and he eats dinner now. The stuff i cook. And he easily engages in play on his own. All because of limiting that damn tv. It made our lives so much harder when I was using it to make it easier.

[melodramatic26]

Jun 4, 2013 20:55:25 GMT -5 snickers said:

4 year olds are the devil.
I wouldn't worry too much about the bad reports at the end of the day, you have no idea how many kids get "bad reports". Most kids don't have perfect days. It's no indication as to how your kid will be in a year or two. Kids will be kids. As long as you love em

Puddle, this is very good advice. We were having a similar situation with Adele, where every.single.day she was getting bad marks about not listening, sitting, playing nice, etc. Every day she was "needs improvement" on everything. I was so upset over it.

Well my husband, bless his heart, did pickup one day. He was nosey and looked through the other folders and saw most all of the other kids had the same marks and comments. He did this a few different times and it was the  same.

I bet it's not just your daughter. Really. I'm sorry, it toally sucks. She'll grow out of it. That's my hope for my own anyways.

[idoinjuly]

Jun 5, 2013 8:47:13 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

Jun 5, 2013 8:44:00 GMT -5 Que? said:

I kind of want to cry a little that you said this. I have recently realized that this is me also and I'm so ashamed of myself. I was thinking of speaking to someone about it. I am not on any birth control and I don't take any medication. I'm wondering if there's anything to do about that one week a month that I'm a total asshole.

Now I'm tearing up too. I've had a lot of heavy sighs, eye rolls, yelling, and at times, crying in the corner hoping the kids won't see me.

Quesera, a long time ago I took the generic brand of prozac for 2 weeks out of the month to help my PMDD. I would start taking it a week before my period and the week off my period. It might be something for you to talk to your Dr about.

Big hugs to you guys.

I have to say, it's gotten a lot better since being on Zoloft.  Sooo, you can only imagine how awful it was before I started taking it.  I'm still irrational and short tempered and pissed off, but I have more of a filter between my brain and my mouth.

[eddy]

Also you are doing a great job POG. Each month that Emily gets older life gets a bit easier. That allows you to engage a bit with Natalie again. Then the scales even out more and more.

We couldn't pull the trigger with the tv until Leo was almost a year. I just couldn't handle the stress of engaging both of them at once lol. Anyways I am glad i did it.

[Deleted]

Jun 5, 2013 8:47:56 GMT -5 eddy said:

Can I make one more suggestion that made a HUGE difference in behavior for us. Limiting tv. I know I know it sounded like a death sentence to me. Maybe she doesn't watch much tv. But we got into a terrible habit once Leo was born. It was like a free reign and he was an entitled, whiny brat because of it. Now he only gets a half hour of tv a day. It is in the morning after breakfast. that is it. Nothing after work. He doesn't watch tv at daycare. No other electronics either.

It was rough to start the new habit, but OMG it has been an amazing turnaround. I don't know why it is. He is just so much happier and less demanding now. Less fits. More engaged at dinnertime. Oh yeah and he eats dinner now. The stuff i cook. And he easily engages in play on his own. All because of limiting that damn tv. It made our lives so much harder when I was using it to make it easier.

We just did this too. It was SUCH a help. And surprisingly not "that" hard. It is like his new normal. He just does not get TV. He finds something else to do. WE allow one show on saturday morning. And maybe a movie at grandmas.

He is still a little devil, but toned down now.

Dude, 4 sucks puddle. Sometimes I hate myself for being annoyed with him. But he is annoying. Lol.

[AHappierHour]

No no no no please don't say such things DD1 will be 4 in a few days and I was hoping she would be better. I'm in toddler hell right now! DD1 is ms.sassy pants and DD2 (will be 3 in 3 months) starting throwing the most epic tantrums. Fist ground pounding and all! Someone hold me

[Deleted]

Jun 5, 2013 8:47:56 GMT -5 eddy said:

Can I make one more suggestion that made a HUGE difference in behavior for us. Limiting tv. I know I know it sounded like a death sentence to me. Maybe she doesn't watch much tv. But we got into a terrible habit once Leo was born. It was like a free reign and he was an entitled, whiny brat because of it. Now he only gets a half hour of tv a day. It is in the morning after breakfast. that is it. Nothing after work. He doesn't watch tv at daycare. No other electronics either.

It was rough to start the new habit, but OMG it has been an amazing turnaround. I don't know why it is. He is just so much happier and less demanding now. Less fits. More engaged at dinnertime. Oh yeah and he eats dinner now. The stuff i cook. And he easily engages in play on his own. All because of limiting that damn tv. It made our lives so much harder when I was using it to make it easier.

I'm going to agree with this 100%. Rocco is a different kid when we let him watch too much tv. I'm sure it's different for every kid but limiting the tv makes a very positive difference in my kid's behavior. 

[SugarKane]

Yes, I'm sorry. I've always said that it's the terrible 2s,torturous 3s and the FUCKING 4s. Hang in there, by the time they're 6 things tend to get better

[textbookcase]

3 and 4 year olds are simultaneously the cutest thing ever and the most raging assholes on the planet. It gets better!