My mom is visiting for the week. She arrived today. SST is absolutely crazy about her grandma and she's been excited for weeks about her coming. She doesn't really understand time yet, but she kind of gets the concept of nights and days, so when we're talking about something in the future, we use "mornings". Like, "Christmas is in three more mornings - you go to bed and wake up, then go to bed and wake up again, and go to bed and wake up again and then it will be Christmas." She gets that.
But my mom told her yesterday "Go to bed tonight, and when you wake up in the morning I'll be there." So she woke up this morning and thought grandma was already here (which is what my mom told her). I had to tell her, no grandma will be here after lunch. She's disappointed but still excited that grandma is coming soon.
We had an event at SST's school today, so I couldn't pick my mom up from the airport. My brother, who lives a mile away from me, went instead. I had originally told my mom that she couldn't come to the event because it was full, but when I got there this morning, they had room. So I told her as soon as she got off the plane "hey you can come now if you want and see the kids." She kind of hemmed and hawed and said "well let me see what's going on when Brother comes to get me." She calls me an hour later and says "Well, Brother's going to something with his friend today and he already asked if he could bring me, so I feel like I should go." Okay, fine. I know really she doesn't want to come because coming to the event means she has to help out with cleaning and/or manual labor and she doesn't want to do that. All right. So she's supposed to be back around 4 or 5 and will come to our house. I explain to SST that OK, grandma is going to be here at dinnertime.
Five comes and goes and no word. We have dinner, and I explain to SST again, grandma will be here after dinner. She wants to call grandma and ask her when she's coming. So at 7, she finally calls and says "oh we're still here, it's taking a long time, hopefully we'll be done soon, we'll come straight there so I can see SST." SST still excited and waiting for grandma.
We get ready for bed, are hanging out, SST is getting sleepy. Finally at 8:20, she calls me "OK, we're on our way! I'll just stop by and at least say good night to her!" all peppy and happy. I'm annoyed because it's so late, but okay, fine. SST is still asking me when grandma is coming. I tell her, well I'm not sure, maybe tomorrow honey. She is disappointed of course. It's 8:45, and she's still not here, and SST is falling asleep on the couch. I call my mom and tell her not to come because both the kids are now asleep. She's like "Oh, well are you sure you don't want to wake her up, just for a little bit?" Ummm no, because then she'll be super hyper and won't go to bed until 11:00.
So now poor SST has gone all day excited to see grandma and being disappointed. My mom is totally clueless. And I'm just generally pissed off.
Ugh. I totally get the annoyance, and the utter cluelessness of the hopes & dreams of kids. FIL is the same way - he likes to invite us ALL out for dinner at 8:30, so we get to remind him that the kids have been in bed by an hour at that time so, NO.
Post by cookiemdough on May 12, 2012 20:24:55 GMT -5
I feel you on this. My MIL is not great at planning and I don't think she realizes that at this age they have a concept of time and they remember if you promise them something. This time around DS was pretty disappointed. I think next time I will ask nicely that she not mention anything to him until she is sure of her plans.
Post by laurenpetro on May 12, 2012 20:31:47 GMT -5
i'm sorry. i've been through that with grace and my father. sadly, at 6, grace has already gotten used to it. i hope the rest of the visit goes a little better!
My MIL does that sometimes and it's the one thing that pisses me off about her. I hate that it breaks my kid's heart when she thinks Grandma is coming and then they show up after she's gone to bed. Poor sst
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Thanks everyone. I'm glad it's not just me - she has a tendency to gaslight me and make me feel like I am being unreasonable when she does things like this. I guarantee that if I said something to her about today, she'd get upset and defensive and say "well it's not my fault it took so long up there! Things happen!" Which okay, is true, but things ALWAYS happen with her. It's always something. But last time I was honest and direct with her about it and laid out my feelings about her behavior, she stopped speaking to me for six months. Sigh...
I honestly can't fathom a situation where you make your grandbaby wait all damned day for you to bring your ass around and then get all, awwww, why didn't you wait for me when you don't want to show up until half past too damned late.
This thread reminds me that I need to find a shank gif.