What color to paint my phallic lamp

[Blueper]

So uh, I bought this lamp from goodwill because I thought that it was kind of funky. Brought it home, and my fi pointed out that it looks like phallus . I was planning spray painting it anyway since I don't care for the fleshy color, but I need help picking out a color.

I would love to paint it red since that will be the accent color of the room that I bought this for, but would that just make it look like bloody ? Other colors that I have thought of are emerald green or a deep purple. Any suggestions are welcome!

[mrs.jacinthe]

I'll be honest, I think it looks more like a bong than a phallus. Not that I have any experience with bongs beyond what I see on tv, but ...

I think red would be a good choice. Go with a candy-apple, glossy red to avoid the bloody look.

[psyck]

I think it looks like the "I Dream of Jeannie" lamp.

Candy apple red would be cute.

[thewop]

I was thinking a more fleshy pink color.

I kid, I kid. I like purple.

[mrs.jacinthe]

Jun 13, 2012 9:49:06 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

In related news, the other day my sister askes me, "what's small, red and has a hole?"

And I go, "a vagina?"

And she goes, "No, a KONG! Your dog's KONG!"

Now all I see when he's playing with it is a big rubber twat.

Lovely. Pardon me while I go put peanut butter in the white and purple swirly cooch.

[Blueper]

Jun 13, 2012 9:48:58 GMT -5 psyck said:

I think it looks like the "I Dream of Jeannie" lamp.

Candy apple red would be cute.

Oh god, now I can't paint it purple!
Glossy red it will be- I hope that adding a lamp shade will help tone down my mental association with it.

[emoflamingo]

I think stay away from neutral and ... flesh... tones and you'll be fine. The glossy candy apple red or a pretty jewel tone would work well.

(I giggled through the entire post.)

[aweilba]

Jun 13, 2012 9:47:44 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

Face it. You're never going to see anything but a big penis every time you look at this lamp now.

Indeed. My husband said that lamps like this: look like anal beads when I said I wanted one as we were in Target. Now, I will never get one because that's all that I see. He's gone and ruined that lamp for you forever.

[moonlight]

This is the best thread ever.

I say blue, green, purple, etc. Or hell, just go with the flesh tone.