Personal WWYD

[emoflamingo]

One of my ex-boyfriends came out this year. To friends, family, everyone.

He is apparently writing an article for a magazine and they want input from someone they were previously involved with. No names will be used. However, I'm not sure what to say. "yeah, I lost my v-card to him and 9 years later he announced he had the 'best boyfriend on FB' and that's how I found out he was gay." I mean, I have nothing against him or who he loves, I'm very happy he is happy and that he is confident enough to come out to his family (I sent notes of encouragement when he flew home to tell his parents via FB), but I'm not sure what to say other than it didn't really affect me. When we dated, he was still fixated on his ex so our relationship didn't last long.

Suggestions? I'll probably DD this by 5 p.m. tonight before I leave work, so please don't quote.

[gnomesweetgnome]

Did he just ask you for a general statement? It seems like if he's writing an article about it he should have specific questions in mind for you to answer. I would answer truthfully but without going into detail that isn't asked for, I guess.

[emoflamingo]

He just asked if I would "answer 6 questions" but didn't tell me what they were.

I know part of my apprehension is making sure I don't offend him, in particular, or anyone (in general). I haven't seen him or spoken to him in almost 10 years outside of FB interactions in the last few years, so I'm not sure his coming out had a profound impact on my life. Outside of "hey, at least I wasn't the last girl he was with?" sort of joking reaction. Which is probably offensive.

[gnomesweetgnome]

I guess in that case I would agree to answer his questions matter-of-factly, and he can decide whether or not to include the information you provide in his article.

[thewop]

I would be honest with him. No need to lie or make anything up. Simply say it didn't affect you, so you're not sure you'll be of much help for the article. I don't know what's so wrong with that.

[emoflamingo]

Jun 13, 2012 10:22:02 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

They don't want to hear it didn't affect you!
Make something up.
Make it juicy.
Tell them you're amazed that he's gay because he fucked like a stallion or something.

I want to insert an emoticon but there's not an appropriate one. Maybe:

[emoflamingo]

Okay I told him I would attempt to answer them to the best of my ability. Hopefully they're easy and I don't have to be like "listen, you're an awesome person, but your coming out really didn't affect me like it might have some that are still close to you."

[emoflamingo]

Hah I'm not. I wrote more and deleted it because it just kept.coming.out.wrong lol. When I say our relationship was brief, it was brief. And he was still in love with his ex girlfriend, so I think I was more invested than he was? I don't know, without asking him for sure, but that was the implication I got when we broke up.

[housegeek]

I bet it'll be ok. Let us know what he asks!!!

[emoflamingo]

One of the questions included the phrase "did I turn him gay?" so it was less awkward. I was honest, said that it didn't affect our relationship substantially since we hadn't dated in nearly 10 years, but that I was shocked since our relationship was such a huge milestone in my life since I lost my virginity to him and that I was very proud that he was happy with himself enough to come out. I have a few other friends (one from HS and one from college) that are gay and it wasn't something that required guess work (they so fit the stereotypes, bless their hearts -- wouldn't change them for the world though because they are great people) so the ex coming out was a shock.

I hope I helped him out. Thanks, gals.

[bethaboo]

Good for you!

I have an significant ex-boyfriend who came out after high school. I don't think that I would be able to say that his coming out really affected me either. I think the "did I turn him gay" question would definitely make me take the survey less seriously as well.