dogs and babies

[benny618]

Hello! I have a 3 yo little yorki poo and he's the cuddliest thing ever.  The problem is, he is also a very nervous dog.  If he gets scared by like a sudden movement or something, he will growl.

Last weekend I was with some family friends and someone had a 2 year old.  The 2 year old has a dog at home and was all over my dog, poking and pulling like she does with her own dog.  I was sitting very close to him, knowing he wasn't enjoying it (he has never really been around kids) and trying to make sure he stayed calm around this little girl.  Well, she leaned on his neck (which in his defense probably hurt) and he showed his teeth.  He didn't exactly bite her but he left a mark on her hand (no broken skin) and naturally she was hysterical crying.  He ran into the lap of the nearest adult to hide.

I felt and still feel HORRIBLE.  First of all, I was so embarassed that everyone seemed to think that my dog is just an ass, when I know that he was scared and protecting himself.  He is not used to kids!  Of course my bigger issue is that he actually snapped like that, and I have no idea how to fix this.  H and I do plan to start having kids in about a year, and I have friends who are starting to have kids... I am so worried about our dog doing this again, or worse.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?  Any advice on how to get dogs used to children??  I don't want him to hurt any other kids out of fear!  He is so cuddly and sweet with adults but I just don't think he knows what to make of little humans poking and pulling at him.  Help!

[redheadbaker]

Not trying to sound snarky, but why did you let her continue to poke and prod him when you knew he was uncomfortable? Why let him get pushed to his breaking point?

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[mala]

Your dog was totally provoked and did no lasting harm to the little girl.

That said, you should have told the girl to back off or not to touch your dog. You should have stepped in and corrected the situation. At 2 she should know better and she should have listened to you if you had told her no. It is your job as a dog owner to make sure your dog always feels safe and is not in a position to be aggressive, ever. In the situation you described you failed to do this. I hope in the future you will be faster to step in.

I also place part of the blame with the parents of the 2 year old. They have not taught their child how to act around dogs. My one year old knows better than to pull on tails and ears and knows to pet gently. Yes, the family dog may put up with this, but most dogs will not and by not teaching their daughter how to act with pets they are setting her up to be hurt later on.

When you are with your friends who have children, just be viligant about their interactions. Make sure you learn the signals your dog gives when he is frightened or stressed and when he shows these signs remove him from the situation.

As far as having your own kids, I don't think you have to worry just yet. Your dog might be shy at first but having a new member of the pack is different than the occasional visitor. Your new baby won't be mobile or harrassing your dog right away. Just make sure you teach baby not to pull on ears or tails and to be gentle. Be prepared, though, to seperate dog and baby if your dog isn't adjusting well or if baby is too rough. And never, ever leave them together unsupervised (this goes for all dogs and small children. I love and trust my dog but I will never leave her and B alone together).

[benny618]

Jun 17, 2013 14:25:41 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Not trying to sound snarky, but why did you let her continue to poke and prod him when you knew he was uncomfortable? Why let him get pushed to his breaking point?

Sent from my DROID3 using proboards

I didn't know he had a "breaking point" because he has never been in that situation before.  I thought growling a bit, maybe barking, was all he would do.

I'm hoping to find some advice on how others have dealt with introducing their "only child" dog to small children.

[mala]

All dogs haven a breaking point. All of them. Any dog can be aggressive given the right circumstances.

[benny618]

Jun 17, 2013 14:30:04 GMT -5 mala said:

Your dog was totally provoked and did no lasting harm to the little girl.

That said, you should have told the girl to back off or not to touch your dog. You should have stepped in and corrected the situation. At 2 she should know better and she should have listened to you if you had told her no. It is your job as a dog owner to make sure your dog always feels safe and is not in a position to be aggressive, ever. In the situation you described you failed to do this. I hope in the future you will be faster to step in.

I also place part of the blame with the parents of the 2 year old. They have not taught their child how to act around dogs. My one year old knows better than to pull on tails and ears and knows to pet gently. Yes, the family dog may put up with this, but most dogs will not and by not teaching their daughter how to act with pets they are setting her up to be hurt later on.

When you are with your friends who have children, just be viligant about their interactions. Make sure you learn the signals your dog gives when he is frightened or stressed and when he shows these signs remove him from the situation.

As far as having your own kids, I don't think you have to worry just yet. Your dog might be shy at first but having a new member of the pack is different than the occasional visitor. Your new baby won't be mobile or harrassing your dog right away. Just make sure you teach baby not to pull on ears or tails and to be gentle. Be prepared, though, to seperate dog and baby if your dog isn't adjusting well or if baby is too rough. And never, ever leave them together unsupervised (this goes for all dogs and small children. I love and trust my dog but I will never leave her and B alone together).

Definitely in hindsight I should have separated them.. I just had no idea he would do more than bark or growl a bit. I absoultely learned a lesson in that, but it just made me so concerned about the future of my dog being around more children.

[niemand88f]

You have to help your dog by setting him up for success - you need to make new interactions short and sweet and give him an escape route. There must have been signs prior to the nip that showed he was uncomfortable - you have to learn to recognize them so you can defuse the situation instead of letting it escalate. Try to expose him to more children but make sure they pet gently (kids should NEVER be allowed to poke and pull strange dogs - and ideally not even their own dog!). Luckily you know now that you should work on this, and it wasn't a real bite.

[mala]

The only way to get him used to kids is introduce him to them. Take him to a park where there's kids just to get him more used to them. You'll probably look like a creeper, just to warn you. If any older kids want to pet him, tell them they have to be gentle and calm and keep it short. Eventually you can work your way down to younger, and rougher, kids. But it is important to watch your dogs body language and go at his pace not yours. It will probably take a long time, but if you keep with it you will see progress.

[niemand88f]

Here's some useful blog posts on introducing dogs and kids:
babies and beasts blog post 1
babies and beasts blog post 2

[benny618]

thank you!

[caz1221]

Ditto the links that were posted.  If you want to introduce your dog to kids, I would start with a brief interaction with 1 child (so as not to overwhelm him) that you know and who you trust (or whose parents you trust) to follow your instructions about how to approach and interact with your dog.  As PP said, you want to set him up for success and have only positive interactions with kids so he doesn't see them as a threat.  Give your dog lots of praise and rewards for sitting nicely and accepting the child's petting.  Work gradually, starting with a brief interaction and then moving to longer interactions only if the prior interaction went 100% well.  If you have any doubt, stick with short interactions with trusted kids.  If you want to add more than 1 kid to the mix, only do so when your dog is 100% with 1 kid.  Then do a brief interaction with 2 (trusted) kids.  It's similar to introducing your dog to any new person or situation - work gradually.

I also agree that if your dog shows signs of stress, pain, discomfort, etc., immediately remove him from the situation rather than allowing the child to continue poking/prodding him (or even petting him nicely - read his cues and follow them).  One of my dogs is a therapy dog and has to put up with some clumsy petting from the elderly residents at the nursing home we visit.  He could care less, but I'm constantly watching his cues and will remove him from the situation if necessary (i.e. if asking the resident to pet more gently doesn't work).  I'm expecting my first child in August, and I plan to teach the child how to properly interact with dogs (ours and others) - just because our dogs will tolerate having their ears pulled doesn't mean the child should be allowed to do it (to them or any other dog).  GL!

[patches31709]

Jun 17, 2013 14:34:54 GMT -5 niemand88f said:

You have to help your dog by setting him up for success - you need to make new interactions short and sweet and give him an escape route. There must have been signs prior to the nip that showed he was uncomfortable - you have to learn to recognize them so you can defuse the situation instead of letting it escalate. Try to expose him to more children but make sure they pet gently (kids should NEVER be allowed to poke and pull strange dogs - and ideally not even their own dog!). Luckily you know now that you should work on this, and it wasn't a real bite.

This. I'm sure he was telling you he was uncomfortable, you just missed the signs. The fact that he didn't immediately react "viciously" is actually a pretty good sign to me, it shows he was fairly tolerant of the behavior for a while, but just couldn't take it anymore. And he nipped, he could have done a lot worse.

[katietornado]

A growl is an appropriate way to say "get away from me." A nip without breaking the skin (which is what your dog did) is another appropriate way to say "get away from me." The girl didn't listen to the growling, but she sure as shit listened to the nip. Your dog behaved appropriately...it was the little girl who has the issue. Your dog is not the asshole.

That said, now you know how he reacts when kids behave inappropriately with him. It's your job to make sure he doesn't reach that point again. But like I said...he nipped and didn't break skin. If he'd gone ballistic and got her face in his mouth and wouldn't let go...that would be completely different. I think his reaction was pretty tame, though probably scary to witness.