Lies your parents told just to screw with you

[CrazyLucky]

Jun 18, 2013 10:48:56 GMT -5 wambam said:

Not my parents, my cousin. He told me I could lay eggs. He had me squat down on the living room floor and close my eyes and he put chocolate Easter eggs under my butt. I totally believed him.

I literally LOL'd at this one.

[anlo]

I was also told the bread crust/whistle story. And if you lie, your tongue will turn green.

[pedanticwench]

If I didn't stop sucking my thumb, I would get worms in my stomach. I remember my great-grandmother getting out the encyclopedia to show me the type of worms. I was around 4ish, I think.

[stephlove]

Jun 18, 2013 10:58:09 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Jun 18, 2013 10:55:08 GMT -5 peachdragon said:

Thanks for all the ideas

Seriously, lol

I borrowed one I read on here a few months ago and now when the ice cream truck comes down our street, I tell my son that's the piano truck - they sell pianos. And then I go inside and we get a 5 cent freezie pop

eta: Ah, reading the rest of the responses is a good thing to do. I see I have stephlove and her mom to thank for the piano truck idea

Haha, I did post this the last time we had a thread about it. I got a good feeling why my mom lied to me about it though, I spent ELEVEN DOLLARS for THREE Popsicles from the ice cream man this weekend when I was babysitting my friends kid. 

[Deleted]

My mom's solution to us getting out of bed was to tell us that a monster was under our bed and would grab our feet if we got out. Gee, thanks, mom.

[MrsBean]

I have a similar kitten story. I had been begging my mom for one for years but she always said no. On the morning of my 8th birthday she sat me down and essentially said "I know you really want a kitten but it's not going to happen so just stop it with the kitten talk." I was so upset that I was bawling.

That night she came home with a kitten.

[Dusky]

When I was little my uncle would tell me he was Burt Reynolds when I asked who was calling. My mother never bothered to correct me when I told her who was on the phone, so I spent an embarrassingly long time thinking she was best friends with Burt Reynolds.

[Wrath0fKuus]

There was a long story that ended in my father telling me that a broken nail was so serious that the woman's arm would have to be amputated.

Oh, and he also told me that we're descended from Vlad the Impaler's younger brother, Radu the Handome, and that's why we're all so good-looking. I'd like to think he didn't know that I was asking him for a school family tree project (yes, I presented this), but he probably did and didn't care.

[scorpion]

Jun 18, 2013 10:48:18 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

That tapioca pudding had fish eyes in it.

That if I colored/wrote on my hands I would get ink poisoning, like Dh's aunt did (right..) and I would have to have my hand cut off.

My sister used to tell me that if we got to the end of a dead end street, we'd die.

My sister used to tell me that tapioca pudding was made of octopus eggs.  She also told me that boogers tasted like bubble gum, but I figured out pretty quickly that that wasn't true. 

In general, my dad is like the dad in Calvin and Hobbes.  If he doesn't know the answer (or sometimes if he does?), he'll make up something really creative.  He's so convincing that my poor brother gave a report in sixth-grade history class using some of my dad's "information" and got some interesting questions from the teacher.  Lesson learned -- we learned then to do our own homework....

[game blouses]

My dad told me he played for the Lakers, but was so good that he didn't play the game on TV, because he didn't want to make the other players feel bad.

Guess who embarrassed herself during an oral presentation about her parents' jobs.

[dizzydee]

My brother and duster told me that our creepy neighbors were my real parents and that they had left me in the ditch behind our house. They called me ditch baby. I thought this for a good 5 years.

My dad told me that the condiments on request sign said condoms. I had no clue what condoms were.

[bigoleworm]

We live in Nj. My sil's father did not want her driving in the city, so he told her he got the insurance to not cover her just in the city. She was about 24 when she finally told me and I let her know he was lying.

[jssymom14]

We used to drive by this huge house in the country and my parents told us it was the orphanage that they would drop us off at if we didn't behave.

[pantsparty]

That I was beautiful and amazing and could achieve anything I set my mind to.

[open24hours]

My mom told me the breast feeding women make milk in their left breast and Pepsi in the right one. She said that I always preferred the Pepsi.

BIL grew up thinking he came from Venus. His parents wove an elaborate story about his alien family. BIL used to stare out the window at night and talk about how much he missed Venus.

[chickadee77]

Jun 18, 2013 10:56:11 GMT -5 @pdubs said:

When I was like seven, we were in the supermarket and I asked my dad what was in spumoni ice cream. He told me that a spumoni was a kind of little fish, sort of like anchovies, and that spumoni ice cream had chunks of these little fish in them.

I still can't look at spumoni ice cream without feeling kind of grossed out.

Hey, my dad said the same thing! 

::whispers:: Sis, is that you?

[falada45]

My last name was similar to Rudolph. We were on a road trip once with my mother's sister and they all convinced me that when I was 8 I would start growing antlers and have to have an operation to have them removed. I cried and CRIED. They were evil! LMAO

[Deleted]

My parents told my brother that when he got "brain freeze" (that headache you get from eating ice cream too fast), he should raise his hands high above his head and pump his arms up and down. And it would go away.

Brain freeze goes away after a minute on its own, so for years my little brother believed it worked. Little Mattie, double fist pumping at the ice cream store.

[Deleted]

A friend of mine used the "music truck" story on her kid. She did such a good job convincing him of it, and he was so trusting, that when he finally was at a friends house around 7 years old, and they got ice cream, he came home all wide eyed and said "MOM! Their music truck sells ice cream!!!"

[mandy0810]

I was almost 3 years old when my baby brother was born. When they brought him home, I was so happy. Then later in the day, I asked my parents where he came from and they told me that they had him on layaway at Kmart. I said that's nice....take him back. I'm done playing with him lol. Apparently they were unable to return him

[Deleted]

Jun 18, 2013 12:44:46 GMT -5 chickadee77 said:

Jun 18, 2013 10:56:11 GMT -5 @pdubs said:

When I was like seven, we were in the supermarket and I asked my dad what was in spumoni ice cream. He told me that a spumoni was a kind of little fish, sort of like anchovies, and that spumoni ice cream had chunks of these little fish in them.

I still can't look at spumoni ice cream without feeling kind of grossed out.

Hey, my dad said the same thing! 

::whispers:: Sis, is that you?

I see you're in SW Florida, and I was born in Miami, soooo maybe it's a Florida thing! 

[Alyssa]

"If you eat your carrots, you'll be able to see in the dark"

[irrelephant]

Jun 18, 2013 11:11:15 GMT -5 anlo said:

I was also told the bread crust/whistle story. And if you lie, your tongue will turn green.

Mine turned black, apparently.

[snickers]

I was just talking about this with them the other day.
My dad (and mom because she went along with it) told me that our 2 Beagle hunting dogs went shopping and got us Christmas presents every year that were wrapped and under the tree on Christmas morning and labelled "love Seven" and "Love Lady". I believed everything my parents told me, so I believed in this until i stopped believing in Santa when I was in grade 5 lol.

[chickadee77]

Jun 18, 2013 13:44:57 GMT -5 @pdubs said:

Jun 18, 2013 12:44:46 GMT -5 chickadee77 said:

Hey, my dad said the same thing! 

::whispers:: Sis, is that you?

I see you're in SW Florida, and I was born in Miami, soooo maybe it's a Florida thing! 

Lol. Nope - I grew up in WI. Whew!

[TrudyCampbell]

When I was 8 or 9 a bunch of families with kids a similar age rented a house together for New Years Eve. They changed all of the clocks in the house so that it would strike midnight at 9pm. We all banged on pots and pans and blew our noisemakers and then went to bed so our parents could start the real party! Freaking genius.

Oh, and they told us the ball drop was canceled that year, lol.