I wanted a kitten when I was 9. I begged and begged and my birthday was coming up in December, so I thought I should get one.
I remember sitting in Church begging my Mom for a kitten and she turns to me and says "Ichabod says there aren't anymore kittens". I was so bummed and I had no idea who Ichabod was.
A few days later we had our family Christmas party and my Aunt came in the door all bundled up and hurried off to my parent's room with my Mom. It was also the 19th and my birthday was the next day.
Guess who had a kitten sleeping with her that night? 13 years later....
He's currently sleeping on a chair, on top of my Husband's dirty work clothing. Lol. He's like a living, breathing, house decoration because he'll stay in one spot for days unless he needs food/water/litter box. He's also deaf. And he'll be 14 this year.
My mom told me the ice cream truck was just a musical truck that drives around. Man, she saved SO MUCH MONEY until I saw the neighbor kids walk away from the truck with ice cream once.
Post by Ohhmm(bligo) on Jun 18, 2013 10:40:41 GMT -5
-Hush puppies were made from actual puppies -The decorative buffalo skull was made from the head of Dad's enemy -The bikini model calender was standard in the truck, it just came with it -Mascara made your eyelashes fall out -Kissing boys made your lips thinner -Pinecones were rattlesnake rattlers sticking out of the ground
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
Post by ElizabethBennet on Jun 18, 2013 10:42:03 GMT -5
My parents told us that after our teeth fell out and the new ones grew in we'd lose our arms and legs and they'd grow back. Like starfish. My family has a dark sense of humor. The kinda ironic thing about it though is my brother actually did lose his leg years later. We always teased my parents that his leg never grew back.
-Hush puppies were made from actual puppies -The decorative buffalo skull was made from the head of Dad's enemy -The bikini model calender was standard in the truck, it just came with it -Mascara made your eyelashes fall out -Kissing boys made your lips thinner -Pinecones were rattlesnake rattlers sticking out of the ground
When I was 3 a great-grandfather died. My uncle told me that he died from eating too many fried potatoes. I believed him for a long time.
Dad: I wasn't allowed to have my ear pierced, only hookers do that. My mom let me do it over Christmas break, senior year of HS. 2 months later I'm driving, Dad is in the front seat. He looks at me and says "YOU GOT YOUR EARS PIERCED". I said "YES I DID".
He never said another week. About a month later my mom got her's pierced. He ended up buying both of us many really nice pairs of earrings.
My dad said he went to Woodstock. He would have been 13 at the time. Tool me a while to do that math.
There was an old warehouse downtown that was called the Bassett Warehouse. My dad told be there were lots of Bassett hounds living there. He would howl every time we drove by.
Post by BlackCanary on Jun 18, 2013 10:47:43 GMT -5
My mom told me that if I let go of a balloon, it would fly into the sky to Dumbo. Shd first said this when I accidentally let go of my balloon and it flew away so I would stop crying.
I think we had hot sausage for dinner one night when I was around 5 or 6. After dinner Dad and I went to pick fruit in his orchard and I was going on and on about how much I loved our dinner. He promised me that he would plant me a sausage tree because by the end of the day, he'd convinced me sausage grew on trees.
I was always so bummed that he never planted one and it went on for an embarrassingly long time that I believed him. (Maybe until I was 8 or so)
Not my parents, my cousin. He told me I could lay eggs. He had me squat down on the living room floor and close my eyes and he put chocolate Easter eggs under my butt. I totally believed him.
- My dad's family was a circus act. - Bedroom doors don't open after 9pm. All three of us kids never left our bedrooms, thinking we couldn't. - If you kiss boys too young your teeth turn yellow. - Cable only has access to football channels on Sundays, all the other channels have "a day of rest for Jesus". - My dad would talk about his dog growing up named Tramp, who was a mutt. Therefore, every dog every looked a little like Tramp, since he was a mixed breed. - Bunnies can suck your blood if you don't keep their cages clean. - Monty Python's crew were CIA operatives. - My parents had another batch of kids, but they were bad, so they left them in Milwaukee.
My dad pretty much built my childhood around lies and deceit. I'm gonna try to think of some more.
Added: One time I was being really rotten at a gas station of some small town in the middle of nowhere, and the nearby factory whistle went off. I asked my dad what it was, and he had the most dramatic pause and said "That was the trumpet of the Lord; looks like we've been left."
1) My mom used to tell us she was a troll doll, and she'd put a brooch in her bellybutton. When we were upset she'd do this and we'd laugh and she'd say we could rub the brooch and make a wish.
2) My dad used to tell us this elaborate story of how he rescued my mom from Black Tom [last name which makes it a pirate name but is actually this guy's name] the pirate. He would go on and on while we'd walk around (specifically when we lived in NH, we'd walk around Dartmouth while my mom was working and one of the frats had a pirate flag outside). My mom just kind of laughed and went along with it. Turns out Tom was the boyfriend she left my dad for, and he is a fencer.
ETA oh two more, lol.
3) My dad told my sister and I that there was a bigger tank in the back for the lobsters so they wouldn't get sad/squished. My sister and I believed this until like a year ago. I started talking about it like it was fact and everyone knew, and everyone at the party stopped and was like "wait what?" And then I told my sister and she was crushed too. Womp womp.
4) My mom told us we couldn't watch Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers b/c the Morphin' was short for morphine and they were all drug addicts.
My mom told me the ice cream truck was just a musical truck that drives around. Man, she saved SO MUCH MONEY until I saw the neighbor kids walk away from the truck with ice cream once.
we use this one I have a friend whose mom and ped told him when he was really young that he was allergic to pot. I'm convinced his mom paid the ped to do so and that he's not really allergic.
When I was like seven, we were in the supermarket and I asked my dad what was in spumoni ice cream. He told me that a spumoni was a kind of little fish, sort of like anchovies, and that spumoni ice cream had chunks of these little fish in them.
I still can't look at spumoni ice cream without feeling kind of grossed out.
I borrowed one I read on here a few months ago and now when the ice cream truck comes down our street, I tell my son that's the piano truck - they sell pianos. And then I go inside and we get a 5 cent freezie pop
eta: Ah, reading the rest of the responses is a good thing to do. I see I have stephlove and her mom to thank for the piano truck idea
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Every year we went with my dad's company to a themed park called Worlds Of Fun. One year, I was all excited to go and my parents told me on the drive that, Oh, we're not going to Worlds of Fun. We're going to Math World. And they all acted excited, including my brother (because he's a nerd), and I was just sobbing.
I still tell my parents that was pretty damn sick of them lol.
My mom told me hitchhiking was illegal, I believed her until I was 29 and we were driving together, there was a cop in front of us and we drove by a hitchhiker and I said, "I can't believe that guy isn't worried about the cop seeing him" and my mother replied in a very snotty tone "why? hitch hiking isn't illegal". MINDBLOWN!
Post by viciouskittie on Jun 18, 2013 11:06:58 GMT -5
My dad is notorious for telling us 'stories' and pulling our leg as kids. My middle sister is super gullible so it was great One that I still (jokingly!) repeat is a very detailed explanation of how bologna comes from wild bolognies, which are kind of like a turkey, but fatter and featherless.
-Hush puppies were made from actual puppies -The decorative buffalo skull was made from the head of Dad's enemy -The bikini model calender was standard in the truck, it just came with it -Mascara made your eyelashes fall out -Kissing boys made your lips thinner -Pinecones were rattlesnake rattlers sticking out of the ground
My father is a very creative man.
I totally remember thos tiny calendars! We had one stuck on the dash of our Dodge Dart
- My dad's family was a circus act. - Bedroom doors don't open after 9pm. All three of us kids never left our bedrooms, thinking we couldn't. - If you kiss boys too young your teeth turn yellow. - Cable only has access to football channels on Sundays, all the other channels have "a day of rest for Jesus". - My dad would talk about his dog growing up named Tramp, who was a mutt. Therefore, every dog every looked a little like Tramp, since he was a mixed breed. - Bunnies can suck your blood if you don't keep their cages clean. - Monty Python's crew were CIA operatives. - My parents had another batch of kids, but they were bad, so they left them in Milwaukee.
My dad pretty much built my childhood around lies and deceit. I'm gonna try to think of some more.
Added: One time I was being really rotten at a gas station of some small town in the middle of nowhere, and the nearby factory whistle went off. I asked my dad what it was, and he had the most dramatic pause and said "That was the trumpet of the Lord; looks like we've been left."
Post by messykitchen on Jun 18, 2013 11:08:22 GMT -5
My mother told my brother that she counted all the chocolate chips and marshmallows every time she left the house. Apparently he liked to eat them. He believed this lie for a good decade, at least.