My MIL is stressing me out. She has been calling every day, sometimes several times a day, to ask if we have decided on a name yet. She says we have to decide now because she needs it for the baby shower invites. I don't want to seem ungrateful to her, she is very sweet to be throwing me a shower and I understand she doesn't have to do it. But I hate being forced to decide. I've told DH to tell her to just put baby girl on the invites or something (here, the baby is the one that invites people to showers... which is still strange to me). Apparently that's not acceptable though.
Post by trafficgirl on Jun 20, 2013 13:43:39 GMT -5
Ugh, that would drive me batty.
We are already getting pressure from both sets of parents about what we're going to name them, and I really don't want to tell people so we can avoid all the commentary.
We are not telling people what we are naming him or her before birth. I don't want to run the risk of someone insulting the name and never looking at the name or that person the same way. Once the baby is born and has the name people will keep their opinions to themselves (hopefully).
Post by urbancowgirl on Jun 20, 2013 13:57:57 GMT -5
F that. I would keep telling her (and maybe have DH tell her, too) that you haven't decided yet, even if you have. Don't let her pressure you into revealing the name before you're ready. Like bazinga said, what if you change your mind?
Post by sweetminnesnowtan on Jun 20, 2013 14:06:20 GMT -5
That would annoy me too. You should be able to decide on a name when you are good and ready. It's not like you are picking out something simple like a registry item!
My baby shower is next month as well, and I have 'baby boy' on the invites, even though we have had his name picked out before we got pregnant. There is really no reason to have the name on anything, especially if you don't have it picked out yet.
Exactly. I don't want to feel stuck with a name I was forced to reveal. What if I change my mind or once she's born I feel the name doesn't fit her? Thanks for backing me on this. I was starting to feel like I was being unreasonable and indecisive.
Post by blindyswife on Jun 20, 2013 15:19:06 GMT -5
Yeah no. You do not have to decide shit right now. She can wait.
Doesn't she know many people wait until they see their baby in person before they decide what to name it? Even if you were to decide, there is a possibility you could change your mind.
Post by littlemisschatty on Jun 20, 2013 17:41:11 GMT -5
That is so obnoxious!!!
Can I add a MIL vent??? She says all the time that she wants to have time with the baby, not just my mom. Um my mom is 40 mins away. YOU decided to move 4 hours away from us when you retired. Yeah, you know where we live. I am not driving a newborn 4 hours to your house, especially since you love flaunting your retirement and all of your "free time". Ugh. But they bought us a crib, so I cant be too mad. Just a little miffed.
How about: sorry MIL, we're not revealing the name until our baby is out, so ypu can just put baby girl or gibbylod&DH's daughter on the invites.
Really, if someone was badgering me that way, I would just not want to tell them at all. Also, a name you choose is super duper important, it's for life and means so flipping much. You can't have someone force you to decide.
Also, I actually know a bunch of people who changed the name upon meeting their babies. Like 'omg, I know we.said his name is James, but can't you yell, he clearly isn't a James' and then went with a name from the bottom of the short or even long list because it fit better.
I know a girl who had a baby boy last year. Picked his name, told people AFTER he was born what his name was. And she changed his name 6 weeks later... upon "mature reflection" they decided it wasn't such a great name. (and really, it wasn't! It would have always been thought of as a girls name no matter what they said!)
So, your MIL pressuring you to tell the name now is crazy... don't rush the decision - as Cheesecake said, it's a name for life (unless you are the son of the girl I mentioned...)
I know a girl who had a baby boy last year. Picked his name, told people AFTER he was born what his name was. And she changed his name 6 weeks later... upon "mature reflection" they decided it wasn't such a great name.
Yikes! That's gotta be confusing.
Also, I don't think that would be legal here. The name you got on your birth certificate remains your name for life - it doesn't even change with marriage (you can "borrow" YH's name, but it'll never become yours and on legal documents you'll have to use your own, but can possibly hyphenate with YH's, and passports have your own name, but might have an addition of "spouse of H's name), if you do really want to change it you'll have to petition the court and have a damned good reason (like a name that has become very offensive/difficult to deal with, for instance after WWII a number of Adolfs petitioned the courts to officially alter the name and were awarded that right) after that you pay per letter to change it (in addition to the court fees) which seems to be the reason that Dolf became a very normal name here... cheapest option!)
Post by Lucille Bluth on Jun 21, 2013 8:49:35 GMT -5
My husband's cousin announced to everyone they were naming their baby something and even went as far as sending out the new gmail address he made for her using the name. People bought personalized things to give after the baby was born only to find out they decided to name her something entirely different.
Just tell her you want to meet her first to know what suits her. No way in hell would I give in to that. Moms and MILs get so weird about this stuff.
I know a girl who had a baby boy last year. Picked his name, told people AFTER he was born what his name was. And she changed his name 6 weeks later... upon "mature reflection" they decided it wasn't such a great name.
Yikes! That's gotta be confusing.
Also, I don't think that would be legal here. The name you got on your birth certificate remains your name for life - it doesn't even change with marriage (you can "borrow" YH's name, but it'll never become yours and on legal documents you'll have to use your own, but can possibly hyphenate with YH's, and passports have your own name, but might have an addition of "spouse of H's name), if you do really want to change it you'll have to petition the court and have a damned good reason (like a name that has become very offensive/difficult to deal with, for instance after WWII a number of Adolfs petitioned the courts to officially alter the name and were awarded that right) after that you pay per letter to change it (in addition to the court fees) which seems to be the reason that Dolf became a very normal name here... cheapest option!)
Don't think they'd actually gotten around to actually registering him by the time they changed it (have 3mths to do that)... otherwise, yes, he would have been stuck with "Kim"...