I would have at least offered to clean up the mess, but I wouldn't want to break or screw up someone else's stuff. Some people are super picky about the way things are done or cleaned.
I wouldnt' mind the ketchup or the mirror because those things would be easy to wipe off. Not wiping his hands so he got marshmellow crap all over my sofa would piss me off. I would probably say to her next time, "can you please wipe his hands off so it doesn't get on the furniture?" My kid is 2 and we've been to plenty of peoples homes and have not left a mess behind.
I would have cleaned up the ketchup and the marshmallow. Not sure I would have cleaned the mirror.
This. Can you institute a 'food only in the kitchen and wipe the kid down before he leaves the kitchen' rule? We eat a lot in the living room, but will probably put the kibosh on that once ds is old enough to run around with food and/or smeared with food.
My sister does everything for her kids when she is home and kinda sees it as a 'break' when she visits me or my mom. My mom likes it, I tolerate it.*
I am in charge of my child when I visit my mother or sister. My sister likes that, my mother would prefer she could be in charge like she is when the other grands.
Everybody is different.
* This does mean I direct her children a whole lot. Like "No food in the living room." and following him with hand wipes.
I don't think it's a matter of right or wrong, it's a matter of accountability. Why can't you just say, "Hey, can you clean that ketchup up? I'm busy with X."
Ok I realize I have a newborn, but I can't imagine going to anyone's house, family or not and letting my child just make messes like that. Esp rubbing dirty hands on a couch. I would be livid at her, not the child.
We have a food only in the kitchen rule and wipe their hands/faces before they get down to play, so I would've been embarrassed if my kids were getting food on furniture other than the kitchen table and offered to help clean up. We also generally help playdate hosts clean up toys and messes from snacks before we leave.
That said, I have to clean windows (and doors) constantly because of little finger and nose prints, whether they're made by our kids or their friends, and I don't mind. I consider those messes to be just part of having kids in the house.
My SIL and nephew came over today. He is 2. Every time they come over, he gets things all messy. I realize this is normal, that isn't my problem. Today he smudged my clean mirror, got ketchup all over my dining room table, and wiped his marshmallow hands over my couch. My SIL never cleans up after him though. Today she said "oh I feel so bad, I can tell you just cleaned the mirror too!" Am I just being cranky that I always end up cleaning after him or should she offer to do it?
Yes, she should but you know she won't. My mom is like this unfortunately - I have to direct her and I have no problem doing so; you could always say "while I wipe his hands, can you wipe the couch" or something. Hopefully after a few visits she will get a clue.
I wouldnt' mind the ketchup or the mirror because those things would be easy to wipe off. Not wiping his hands so he got marshmellow crap all over my sofa would piss me off. I would probably say to her next time, "can you please wipe his hands off so it doesn't get on the furniture?" My kid is 2 and we've been to plenty of peoples homes and have not left a mess behind.
This combined w/ havarti. I'd institute a new rule in the house - which is clearly more for your sister than your nephew! I seriously can't imagine LETTING my child wipe his dirty hands on someone's couch, much less not offering to help clean it up.
I don't think it's a matter of right or wrong, it's a matter of accountability. Why can't you just say, "Hey, can you clean that ketchup up? I'm busy with X."
I guess I just never thought about it. I am not working for the summer and they are coming over more, so I am just starting to notice it. I will try that next time. I don't even really mind cleaning it up myself, I think its just the expectation that I will do it that bothers me.
It's OK, it's what I've learned with my MIL. She went from being somewhat helpful at our house to sitting at the table and doing literally nothing. She'll finish eating and lumber into our living room without so much as a thank you or walking the 2 steps to take her plate to the kitchen counter. I use the excuse that our cat will try to get up and eat anything left on the table, so I'm constantly asking her to bring her plate over while I wrangle DD. It might work for you without making a big deal out of it.
Post by mollybrown on Jun 20, 2013 15:05:50 GMT -5
I agree that the real problem is that she's letting him walk around covered in food in the first place. Can you get a cheap booster for him to use when he visits? I always clean up after my children, and I expect others to do the same in my home.
I've had plenty of WTF moments with clueless parents. Just the other day, a friend commented "My children LOVE playing with your plantation shutters" as she observed them slamming them open and shut, and after we had just had a conversation about how expensive plantation shutters are. I might have been a little snippy when I told her not to let them play with the shutters. Those aren't toys, dude. Another friend let her preschooler bring a stamp and ink pad over to my house to play with. I don't even let my own children wander around with crayons, so I definitely don't want someone else's child playing with an ink pad. I just confiscated it from him. Somehow, he got it back and DD ended up getting it and smearing ink on 2 pieces of furniture.
I think I'd institute a no messy foods around newphew policy. If you know the marshmallows are going to become a HUGE sticky mess... no marshmallows. Gee, we're all out! If your SIL brings messy/sticky foods with her for nephew, tell her no. You don't have the time or energy to play clean up once they're gone. Include hairy eyeball there, too.
That's just annoying. The mess is kinda gross, but the post-visit clean up is just rude. Kids are messy. Lord knows my kid cannot get thru a handful of animal crackers without stepping on them, wiping his face on the couch and leaving them strewn about, but that is in MY LR. I would not allow him to destroy someone else's!