Telling a friend you dislike their diet?

[soozy87]

Next time she talks about it I would just mention (strongly) that I think it's a bad idea because...
And then if/when she brings it up again I would tell her I didn't want to hear about her "diet" and tell her you are concerned for her and can't stand to listen to her talk about something so dangerous that she is intentionally doing to herself.

[jerseyjaybird]

I might once, and only once, say something like, "wow, do all of these potential complications make you nervous?" when she brings one of them up.

Otherwise, MYOB.

[theintended]

Jun 21, 2013 10:23:15 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

She talks to me about this diet all day long and I've been supportive. 

Is this the same friend you've had problems with? The one you talk to on the phone multiple times per day?

If being "supportive" means telling her it's a wonderful idea, I wouldn't do that. If it's the same friend, I'd stop listening "all day long."

[changedname]

As someone who has been shooting myself up with HCG for the last 8 months (fertiity treatments), I think that diet sounds ridiculous. And FWIW I didn't lose weight haha. Wouldn't you lose weight on 500 calories a day without the shots?

Anyway, I would maybe mention to her that a coworker or something was on it and had a bad experience etc, but at the end of the day, it's her choice. I just hope she is ok.

[pugz]

uggh, the HCG diet is the worst. It has driven up the cost of HCG injections for those like myself that need it or fertility treatment

and she'll gain back all the weight when she stops the diet

[changedname]

Jun 21, 2013 10:33:49 GMT -5 pugz said:

uggh, the HCG diet is the worst. It has driven up the cost of HCG injections for those like myself that need it or fertility treatment

and she'll gain back all the weight when she stops the diet

  Wow, is that true? I am pissed it has driven up the costs for those that actually need it.

[pugz]

that's what my doctor told me. I needed it to trigger when I was on Clomid and I had to go to a compounding pharmacy to get it, it was $75 for one injection. My doctor said it used to be less than half that until the diet craze. Now it's hard to even get your hands on.

[changedname]

pugz - mine was $85 a pop! And my insurance will only cover $30 because it says that is the going rate. Now I know why - that is annoying.

[heyrebekah]

Jun 21, 2013 10:46:31 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

Jun 21, 2013 10:28:49 GMT -5 jerseyjaybird said:

I might once, and only once, say something like, "wow, do all of these potential complications make you nervous?" when she brings one of them up.

Otherwise, MYOB.

She never told me about any complications.  I read them.

Next time she brings it up you could say something like "I was reading more about this online and it sounds kind of scary. I read that it may even be illegal. Do all of these potential complications make you nervous?"

[imojoebunny]

I would be concerned for her, but probably say little. My neighbor was obese and has lost 70 pounds on the paleo diet. She tried a lot of stuff like the HCG diet before she "discovered" Paleo. She has been on it for about a year and continues to do a good job of dropping weight and eating healthy, if restrictive, food, but I remember a couple of years ago she went on one of those very low calorie, medically supervised, liquid protein diets, and I wanted to shake her. It was so unhealthy. She lost weight, but then gained it right back.

Hope she tires of it soon and looks into weight watchers or something more long term and healthy.

[agnes]

I think I would have initially said something when she told me that she would only be taking in 500 calories a day. I prolly would have said, "Wow, that doesn't sound too healthy." And then asked her bunch of questions to find out more. And then prolly keep asking her if it were medically recommended by her Dr and such.

That's just how I roll. It sounds like something that's going to do her more harm than good.

IIRC, you have an odd diet or did at one point. She could possibly throw that back in your face if you did bring up your concerns.

[jerseyjaybird]

Jun 21, 2013 10:46:31 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

Jun 21, 2013 10:28:49 GMT -5 jerseyjaybird said:

I might once, and only once, say something like, "wow, do all of these potential complications make you nervous?" when she brings one of them up.

Otherwise, MYOB.

She never told me about any complications.  I read them.

I'm thinking of the need for preventative medication.

I think these diets absolutely sound dangerous as hell, but I'd doubt that anything I said would change her mind. It would, though, feel invasive to me if I learned that my friend had been researching my diet online. Thus, it seems to me that more harm than good would come out of the conversation. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing concern once, but I'd tread very, very lightly.

[6fsn]

It was a different situation, but I said this to one of my friends.

"Dear friend. I love you. I will only say this once, but I am very concerned about what you are doing for x,y,z reasons. I say this with the best of intentions and I will ultimately support you, but I am worried. Please know that it is hard for me to say this and I'm sure it's hard to hear."

[Deleted]

I think I would say I am concerned about the extreme diet considering her other health issues. I would ask of she would consider her GP doing regular blood pannels to make sure everything looks okay.

As an obese person, I've pretty much settled on the only option is doing several hours of exercise a week, watching everything I eat and being hungry forever. It's just a matter of whether or not I can tolerate that.

[rachelgreen]

Jun 21, 2013 10:42:08 GMT -5 changedname said:

pugz - mine was $85 a pop! And my insurance will only cover $30 because it says that is the going rate. Now I know why - that is annoying.

(sorry, bluesky to be hijacking some more)

I've used HCG for the last 5.5+ yrs for infertility treatments. I'm 100% oop so I order through Walgreens Specialty Pharmacy and it's around $60 per vial I believe. 

[bronxgirl]

Jun 21, 2013 10:38:57 GMT -5 pugz said:

that's what my doctor told me. I needed it to trigger when I was on Clomid and I had to go to a compounding pharmacy to get it, it was $75 for one injection. My doctor said it used to be less than half that until the diet craze. Now it's hard to even get your hands on.

I didn't know that and it pisses me off.  IF tx is expensive enough without costs being driven up due to fad diets.

[mbcdefg]

I would just tell her something like, "I would have a long talk with your doctor before you pursue something this drastic."

And then MYOB.

[dexteroni]

Jun 21, 2013 10:53:03 GMT -5 heyrebekah said:

Jun 21, 2013 10:46:31 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

She never told me about any complications.  I read them.

Next time she brings it up you could say something like "I was reading more about this online and it sounds kind of scary. I read that it may even be illegal. Do all of these potential complications make you nervous?"

This is the approach I would take. Whenever a "should I say something?" posts comes up, I prefer to err on the side of expressing concern, tactfully, of course, and making it clear that your only concern is their well being.  That way whatever happens, at least I know I tried.  Plus, she might not listen if only one person says it, but if even one or two more people do the same thing, it might start to make her think.  If I didn't say anything and something happened, I would feel awful.

[jennistarr1]

I would simply ask "did you tell your physician about this diet and get their approval"...rather than inject your own opinion your encouraging a professional one.

[Deleted]

I would tell her I was worried for her and then drop it. I wouldn't listen to her talk about it all day long.

For that matter, I wouldn't sit and listen to any friend all day long about any one topic except certain situations (e.g., a break-up, death, new baby).

[dirtyred]

I'm dying that she was told that her shampoo is making her fat. If she can't see how crazy that statement is, there's no hope.

 www.squidoo.com/unsafe_hcg_diet

This is a link to personal stories and other stuff about how terrible the hcg diet is. You could try forwarding it to her.

[greencrayon]

Jun 21, 2013 10:54:37 GMT -5 imojoebunny said:

I would be concerned for her, but probably say little. My neighbor was obese and has lost 70 pounds on the paleo diet. She tried a lot of stuff like the HCG diet before she "discovered" Paleo. She has been on it for about a year and continues to do a good job of dropping weight and eating healthy, if restrictive, food, but I remember a couple of years ago she went on one of those very low calorie, medically supervised, liquid protein diets, and I wanted to shake her. It was so unhealthy. She lost weight, but then gained it right back.

Hope she tires of it soon and looks into weight watchers or something more long term and healthy.

Paleo ftw! I'm about 80 lbs overweight, but I had started eating Paleo before I got pregnant, and the weight flew off. I felt better, was in a better mood... etc. Now I can hardly stand to look at an egg! As soon as my morning sickness wears off I'll be back on it. 

[pugz]

In high school i lost 5 lbs in a week by eating only canned frosting, rainbow chip of course.

I was not handling being dumped very well obviously . But joke was on him since i looked hot!! Lol

I should market that diet...

[treedimensional]

If she has that kind of money, why doesn't she just get bariatric surgery? 500 calories a day is about what a post-op patient gets.

[FWP]

Jun 21, 2013 11:00:01 GMT -5 6fsn said:

It was a different situation, but I said this to one of my friends.

"Dear friend. I love you. I will only say this once, but I am very concerned about what you are doing for x,y,z reasons. I say this with the best of intentions and I will ultimately support you, but I am worried. Please know that it is hard for me to say this and I'm sure it's hard to hear."

And how did it end?

OP, I think you have a very low chance of changing her behavior regardless of what you do. That said, don't tell her you think it's a good idea if it isn't.

[badtzmaru22]

I have unopened, probably expired HCG leftover from fertility treatments. It cost me $25. Does it really expire, or can I give it to someone who is OOP? /threadjack.

[catsarecute]

Jun 21, 2013 10:33:49 GMT -5 pugz said:

uggh, the HCG diet is the worst. It has driven up the cost of HCG injections for those like myself that need it or fertility treatment

and she'll gain back all the weight when she stops the diet

Lurker...

Yes, this is true. I haven't had a need for fertility meds for almost 2 years now but I once paid $30 more for my HCG within a 3 week period. It was absurd and I think it is linked back to people using this diet. I don't understand people who fall for this scam!

[6fsn]

Jun 21, 2013 16:14:43 GMT -5 FWP said:

Jun 21, 2013 11:00:01 GMT -5 6fsn said:

It was a different situation, but I said this to one of my friends.

"Dear friend. I love you. I will only say this once, but I am very concerned about what you are doing for x,y,z reasons. I say this with the best of intentions and I will ultimately support you, but I am worried. Please know that it is hard for me to say this and I'm sure it's hard to hear."

And how did it end?

OP, I think you have a very low chance of changing her behavior regardless of what you do. That said, don't tell her you think it's a good idea if it isn't.

She kept doing what she was doing but stopped talking to me about it.  We've maintained a close friendship since then.