Sigh. Okay, WWMLD here?

[emerald59]

I'm genuinely curious about what other people would do in this situation. So, say you have either a close friend or family member who buys you a kitchen counter base and counter top, ($110 all together) then spends over an hour putting it together for you, and transports it 3 hours for you because you are moving and won't have a kitchen at your new place. Say that during that 3 hour ride, the cabinet falls OFF their trailer and breaks, and is completely beyond repair. Do you still pay the friend/family member or do you say, essentially, "wow, that sucks," and expect them to eat the cost? 

Honestly curious how other people would handle this, so I know if my feelings about it are off-base. Thanks

[verypunny]

I dont know. They should have made sure it was properly tied down. If you ordered from a company and this happened the company would surely eat the cost. But it's family so I would offer to pay then go from there.

[elleblue]

Ooh that sucks for both parties involved. Was there any agreement for reimbursement of the $110? Because from what you've written, it looks like the counter and the labor were a gift.

[ECB]

O.k.- did they buy it for you as a gift, or did they buy it w/ the expectation that you'd pay them for it? If it was always expected you'd pay them, then you pay them. If it was a gift, then it's on them.

[mommytutu]

I would pay for the replacement.

[rodeored]

Did it fall of the trailer because they didn't strap it down or was it an accident (though I don't what kind of accident could occur that wasn't ultimately someones fault)?

Either way I would probably pay for it but I wouldn't be very happy if it happened because they didn't strap it down/ was driving crazy or something.

[Deleted]

Jun 22, 2013 12:09:14 GMT -5 emerald59 said:

I'm genuinely curious about what other people would do in this situation. So, say you have either a close friend or family member who buys you a kitchen counter base and counter top, ($110 all together) then spends over an hour putting it together for you, and transports it 3 hours for you because you are moving and won't have a kitchen at your new place. Say that during that 3 hour ride, the cabinet falls OFF their trailer and breaks, and is completely beyond repair. Do you still pay the friend/family member or do you say, essentially, "wow, that sucks," and expect them to eat the cost? 

Honestly curious how other people would handle this, so I know if my feelings about it are off-base. Thanks

So where was the cabinet going?

[ElizabethBennet]

I would offer to pay them back.

[rosiedozie]

Were you originally going to pay them for the materials/labor or was it a gift?

[emerald59]

I guess I should have assumed more info would be needed. It was agreed that the counter would be paid for, (not a gift--though the labor and transport were technically a gift, because this is a close friend or family member) and it was a very, very good deal for what it was. It was ratcheted down, and tied down extremely well, but the vehicle and trailer had to swerve to avoid a moronic tractor trailer driver, and it somehow was able to come off. Gas costs were also initially promised to be paid for, but were not.

[whattheheck]

I'm guessing you were the cabinet buyer/put-together-er/transporter - yes?

[emerald59]

Jun 22, 2013 12:19:01 GMT -5 whattheheck said:

I'm guessing you were the cabinet buyer/put-together-er/transporter - yes?

You would be correct.

[kaybee85]

I would at least offer to pay for the cabinet, especially since it wasn't due to poor planning/tying down.

From the way you are telling the story, it sounds like you were the one doing the favor? I would probably remind them about the cost of gas, because it was agreed upon, and eat the cost of the cabinet.

[ECB]

Jun 22, 2013 12:19:01 GMT -5 whattheheck said:

I'm guessing you were the cabinet buyer/put-together-er/transporter - yes?

And the person you' were doing this for isn't offering to pay after all?

[elleblue]

Jun 22, 2013 12:18:11 GMT -5 emerald59 said:

I guess I should have assumed more info would be needed. It was agreed that the counter would be paid for, (not a gift--though the labor and transport were technically a gift, because this is a close friend or family member) and it was a very, very good deal for what it was. It was ratcheted down, and tied down extremely well, but the vehicle and trailer had to swerve to avoid a moronic tractor trailer driver, and it somehow was able to come off. Gas costs were also initially promised to be paid for, but were not.

Gas costs on who's part? The delivery person or the recipient?

As far as the replacement counter, I'd probably go ahead and pay for it since it sounds like the accident wasn't a result of negligence. Especially if the person assembling it was willing to do the labor all over again at no charge.

[Gato]

I would pay for it.

[elleblue]

Jun 22, 2013 12:19:37 GMT -5 emerald59 said:

Jun 22, 2013 12:19:01 GMT -5 whattheheck said:

I'm guessing you were the cabinet buyer/put-together-er/transporter - yes?

You would be correct.

Are they expecting a new counter?

[Deleted]

I would pay, but mainly because I feel awful that something happened after they put so much work in.

[emerald59]

Jun 22, 2013 12:20:32 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

I would at least offer to pay for the cabinet, especially since it wasn't due to poor planning/tying down.

From the way you are telling the story, it sounds like you were the one doing the favor? I would probably remind them about the cost of gas, because it was agreed upon, and eat the cost of the cabinet.

Honestly, I would've been less disappointed if even gas had been reimbursed (because it was offered) but we didn't even get that. I'm a SAHM, and $110 plus gas for 6 hours round trip for an SUV and trailer is a lot for us. I'm mainly disappointed because if the situation were reversed, we would still have paid him. I feel like it's more personal because it's family, though.

[Deleted]

So the person is moving and you're taking it to their new place for them as a favor? If I were your friend, I'd pay for gas and cost of materials as promised. The cabinet was finished and you guys were just taking the extra step of moving it so that I wouldn't have to. If I were the person doing the favor, I'd feel bad that it fell off the truck and offer to split the material costs. (Caveat: I don't know much about hauling things and how easy it would be for things to fall off a truck, but it seems like something could have been done differently to ensure the cabinet didn't fall off.)

[elleblue]

Jun 22, 2013 12:24:36 GMT -5 emerald59 said:

Jun 22, 2013 12:20:32 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

I would at least offer to pay for the cabinet, especially since it wasn't due to poor planning/tying down.

From the way you are telling the story, it sounds like you were the one doing the favor? I would probably remind them about the cost of gas, because it was agreed upon, and eat the cost of the cabinet.

Honestly, I would've been less disappointed if even gas had been reimbursed (because it was offered) but we didn't even get that. I'm a SAHM, and $110 plus gas for 6 hours round trip for an SUV and trailer is a lot for us. I'm mainly disappointed because if the situation were reversed, we would still have paid him. I feel like it's more personal because it's family, though.

Yeah, not following up on the 6 hour round trip gas cost is pretty crappy imho. :/

[verypunny]

If they did not offer to pay for any portion of the broken cabinet and did not pay for gas I would definitely not be making another one for them. They should pay for the gas costs and it sucks but I can see why they wouldn't pay for the cabinet. It's a shitty thing for them to do and they should at least pay half but for sure pay gas.

[verypunny]

How did they handle it? What did they say? Did you mention gas costs to them and asked to be paid and they refused?

[verypunny]

Jun 22, 2013 12:27:11 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

Jun 22, 2013 12:24:36 GMT -5 emerald59 said:

Honestly, I would've been less disappointed if even gas had been reimbursed (because it was offered) but we didn't even get that. I'm a SAHM, and $110 plus gas for 6 hours round trip for an SUV and trailer is a lot for us. I'm mainly disappointed because if the situation were reversed, we would still have paid him. I feel like it's more personal because it's family, though.

Why did you pay for the counter?

I do think your relative should pay.

I think the husband/op made it and they were going to be reimbursed for materials upon arrival.

[kaybee85]

Jun 22, 2013 12:24:36 GMT -5 emerald59 said:

Jun 22, 2013 12:20:32 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

I would at least offer to pay for the cabinet, especially since it wasn't due to poor planning/tying down.

From the way you are telling the story, it sounds like you were the one doing the favor? I would probably remind them about the cost of gas, because it was agreed upon, and eat the cost of the cabinet.

Honestly, I would've been less disappointed if even gas had been reimbursed (because it was offered) but we didn't even get that. I'm a SAHM, and $110 plus gas for 6 hours round trip for an SUV and trailer is a lot for us. I'm mainly disappointed because if the situation were reversed, we would still have paid him. I feel like it's more personal because it's family, though.

It would disappoint me, too. I personally wouldn't let the gas go, though, because it was agreed upon. The cabinet, on the other hand, wasn't really discussed, so it would be more uncomfortable to bring that up, especially with family. 

It sucks that they are being stingy with you guys after you helped them out, both financially and with your time. Six hours of driving is nothing to sneeze at, plus installation.

[furby]

Is there no way you could make a claim against your car insurance for the cost of the cabinet? (I'm in the UK, so not sure how it works over there)

At the end of the day, you were doing them a favour. You are now, through no fault of your own, considerably out of pocket. My view is that they should pay for gas at the very least.

[emerald59]

Jun 22, 2013 12:27:11 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

Jun 22, 2013 12:24:36 GMT -5 emerald59 said:

Honestly, I would've been less disappointed if even gas had been reimbursed (because it was offered) but we didn't even get that. I'm a SAHM, and $110 plus gas for 6 hours round trip for an SUV and trailer is a lot for us. I'm mainly disappointed because if the situation were reversed, we would still have paid him. I feel like it's more personal because it's family, though.

Why did you pay for the counter?

I do think your relative should pay.

We paid because my husband found the kitchen counter and counter top at a discount kitchen place up here, and his brother agreed that it was a really great deal, and offered to pay for it via check. My husband is really handy, and knew he could assemble it (because BIL was worried that he couldn't) and in addition to bringing the cabinet down, he was also going to help him move his things, since we have a trailer. So, he still helped him move after all of this.

We have a history of helping out this particular BIL, not expecting anything in return, because he was underemployed and drowning in college debt. He has had a really great job for the past year, though, has a lot in savings now, etc., and we were only going to do it THIS time because it was agreed he'd pay us back for it. We felt AWFUL about it falling off--literally sick to my stomach over it--but I also feel terrible for my husband, because he put so much work into this and took a day off from work to go help him. At this point, though, I'm not sure if we'd want to do this all over again.

[sawyerthedestroyer]

Putting the cabinet issue completely aside, he should pay for gas since you drove out there to help him move using your trailer.

[vanillacourage]

I would pay him whatever $110 minus the gas cost was.

[saraandmichael]

if it was a gift, i'd feel terrible that it was ruined and probably say that i would buy my own (i guess only if they said anything about replacing it themselves).

i feel like an important piece of information is missing here in order to give a better idea of how i'd react.

however, who moves into a place without a kitchen? how does that even exist?