I won't let my ILs watch DS for much lesser reasons, so no, not over protective. And unfortunately, you may not be able to use them at all anymore. Your mom doesn't agree with you and clearly won't be honest about your dad.
Post by sunshineluv on Jun 23, 2013 19:29:17 GMT -5
Not over protective, my dad was an alcoholic (he died just before my son was born). But my sister never let her kids be alone with him. Our step brother let my dad baby sit his two kids overnight, and we judged him for it.
I am so sorry he is drinking again. I hope he goes back on recovery soon. The way your mom is reacting sounds like she is in denial as a part of her enabling him. Don't let her get to you. You are absolutely doing the right thing.
Post by VeryViolet on Jun 23, 2013 19:31:51 GMT -5
Not at all overprotective. I don't have kids yet but I do have an alcoholic father. Even without taking into account any safety issues I know I don't want my child to ever witness my father when he is wasted. I don't want to normalize that behavior at all. Good for you for being strong enough to keep your word. It sucks but it is the best thing for both of your parents and most importantly X and you know it.
She will never understand because she is an enabler. You are doing the right thing.
Totally this. She is in denial and probably has been her entire life about her husband's illness. I would NOT let my child stay over with an alcoholic.
I think it's okay to wait until he's on the wagon. would your mom be up for a sleepover at your house?
This.
Not only you are right about the kid's safety but she is an enabler and that's why she is facing these consequences. I have a similar situation with my MIL. She enables her adult kids to live with her and it's a horrible environment at her house for Logan. She knows that she is welcome to spend the night here if she wants to keep Logan overnight. If she is not going to do anything to fix her situation (which is bad for everyone involved not just Logan) then she doesn't get to keep logan overnight. Too bad.
I won't let my ILs watch DS for much lesser reasons, so no, not over protective. And unfortunately, you may not be able to use them at all anymore. Your mom doesn't agree with you and clearly won't be honest about your dad.
Sorry your dealing with this.
Same here. My FIL has a ton of health issues and my MIL covers them up. They will both flat out lie/cover to the true extent, and for that alone, I will not DD stay the night or drive with them. It's tough to get the emtional blackmail and the dramatics...however I keep telling myself and DH (also part of the problem) that as a parent, I have to consider the safety of my child first.
My mom did say something like 'you're punishing me for your father's problem' and I told her that she made it her problem when she decided to continue living with an alcoholic. She did *not* like that, not even a little
the truth sucks.
To let x go there, though, makes it HIS problem too, and it's his safety at play too. Your mom would really rather you make it your child's problem (who doesn't have a say at all) vs "punishing" her, an adult who DOES have a say?
Post by peachdragon on Jun 23, 2013 20:04:47 GMT -5
Voting that you're not being over protective. If your son were a lot older, it might be more acceptable (due to the reasons you're afraid), but definitely not now.
Despite the safety stuff you never want to expose poor X to that behavior. For a little kid seeing grandpa being whacky would be really scary. Sorry dude.