SAHM's, come in

[Deleted]

How do you handle days where you're just DONE?  Like, completely burned out?  

*Please don't answer this if you're all "I love every second of every day with my screaming toddler!  Carpe diem!" lol

[iamgrace]

TV. Booze. Outside with daddy. Chocolate.

[lulu13]

Sit back with a glass of wine and read this www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

[Deleted]

Trust me, I appreciate my booze at night. But what about during the day while you have to like... parent?

[Deleted]

Well, the other morning, DD was whining and complaining about my brushing her hair. I had just gotten the kids ready to go out the door (teeth brushed, clothes on, faces washed, breakfast done, etc.). DH was taking a shower and getting ready for work. I apparently reached my breaking point, dramatically THREW the brush across the room and broke it, and then stormed upstairs to brush my teeth. Not my finest moment. I recommend not breaking a hairbrush, because your kid might get scared. Mine did. And DH was clearly very annoyed with me. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole.

So, my advice is you can storm off, lock yourself down and take some breaths. Just don't break anything in front of the kid.

[sara76]

Watch the clock.

[anlo]

I have to find time to myself. If that means putting on a movie and letting the kids zone out while I mess on the computer, I do it. If it means waiting until H gets home and then telling him I need a break, I do that. H and I have had many conversations about this and he is very understanding that there are days I just need to bolt for a bit. Sometimes I'll go out and browse at Target, get coffee, go to the library. Other times I just lock the door to our bedroom and read or take a hot bath uninterrupted.

Also, try to schedule social outings for yourself. Playdates with other moms are nice, but I'm talking about meeting up with a friend for coffee or dessert in the evening, or lunch on the weekend. Having those times to look forward to can help make the bad days a bit more bearable.

I so feel your pain.

[EmilieMadison]

I thank god my kids can't yet (reliably) tell time, put them to bed early, and drink. Or, I lock myself in the bathroom until DH gets home and then I rush past him in a hasty exit as soon as he walks in the door. 
ETA: During the day? TV is a good babysitter, at least for a while. I dont care what they say. And naps. Not tired? Too fucking bad, then it's just quiet rest time. 

[ElizabethBennet]

Put her in her room to play for a bit so I can take 5 minutes of a breather.
She loves to talk on Skype with my parents so we do that (I realize that's not an option for everyone)

I don't have much else :/

Oh! On especially bad days I give her an early bath. She loves it and I can sit in there and mess around on my phone while she is contained for 20 or so minutes.

[Deleted]

When I was just parenting Sofia, I would just hand her the iPad with her favorite cartoon and take a hot shower. That always seemed to help.

Now that I have a newborn, I can't really do that. Now I just close my eyes and breathe.

[daisyheadmaizie]

I have a few different tricks. One, I keep a few special projects or toys stashed back and only bring them out on days I need a break. Something new almost always will buy me time. One of DD's favorites is car wash or animal wash or something. Put down some towels, a dish of water, a sponge, and something to wash. Giving her a box of bandaids to play doctor with her stuffed animals is also a big hit. Two, I get out of the house. We meet a friend, go to the library, go for a walk, go out for ice cream. Something just to give us a chance to regroup. Three, I build her a fort, give her a snack, and turn on the tv. I also sometimes mandate play time in her room alone, but I don't know if your DD is old enough for that,

[mommytutu]

Jun 23, 2013 20:59:28 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

Trust me, I appreciate my booze at night. But what about during the day while you have to like... parent?

I turn on a movie for then and zone out. Make it an early to bed night.

[Deleted]

Oh - and when DD was younger and DS was a baby, sometimes I would drive the long way home from an activity/ grocery store/ whatever just so I could listen to the radio and sit down in silence.

[sarahbear]

Honestly, tv/movie for the older one. Count the clock until nap time for the younger one. Sit on the couch and breath deeply. Have a drink. Sometimes my kids do better when I get them out of e house. I know it's the last thing I want to do when they are on my last nerve, but the change in environment is good sometimes. The easiest is to go to the mall, let them play around, burn some energy. Plus, the time goes by faster.

[Deleted]

Oh, and if it's a bad day and I notice that she's getting into something she's not supposed to, like the dog food or my makeup, I just say fuck it and let her go to town.

[anlo]

Oh, more ideas.

Sometimes I will mentally break the day up into sections and just focus on getting through each one. First, it's getting through the breakfast/getting dressed fuss. Then we may play a while together, then take a nice, slow drive around the neighborhood. Just to get out of the house for a bit.

Next is lunch time. After lunch, I might tell the kids it's play time in their rooms so I can get a load of laundry washed/put away or just sit the fuck down for a minute, lol. I'm trying to teach them that mommy needs adult time alone, and that it's okay for them to have time alone to play, too. Your child might not be old enough for this yet, but I highly recommend it.

Then it's the countdown until H gets home.

[Deleted]

I was supposed to take a couple of hours alone today, but I ended up napping- while she napped. So, really, no break. I haven't had time away from her other than while she's asleep in so long.

Right now, she is up in her crib yelling "Mommmmyyyyyy!" Which she has been doing for an hour.

I'm about to have a breakdown.

[daisyheadmaizie]

I haven't done this yet,but it is on my list for the next time I need a distraction. Go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of cheap pool noodles. Cut into smaller pieces, throw them in the bathtub, and let the kid play like it is their own little pool noodle pit,

[Deleted]

I feel like such a shitty parent the last couple of weeks. She's just gotten so difficult at times. The great parts mostly make up for it, but I feel like I shouldn't be as stressed out as I am.

[ElizabethBennet]

Jun 23, 2013 21:07:13 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

I was supposed to take a couple of hours alone today, but I ended up napping- while she napped. So, really, no break. I haven't had time away from her other than while she's asleep in so long.

Right now, she is up in her crib yelling "Mommmmyyyyyy!" Which she has been doing for an hour.

I'm about to have a breakdown.

Is your H home? Can you just go for a drive and listen to some music?

If not go outside for a bit. I'm sure you can hear if she absolutely needs you. 

[daisyheadmaizie]

Jun 23, 2013 21:07:13 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

I was supposed to take a couple of hours alone today, but I ended up napping- while she napped. So, really, no break. I haven't had time away from her other than while she's asleep in so long.

Right now, she is up in her crib yelling "Mommmmyyyyyy!" Which she has been doing for an hour.

I'm about to have a breakdown.

You need to get out of the house. Can your H take over tonight, so you can take a walk, go to Barnes and Noble, walk around Target, something? 

[statlerwaldorf]

It gets easier when they are a little bit older. Like I can take DD to the park and not have to be on her every second to make sure she doesn't run underneath the swings or try to escape. Playdates are a lot easier.

I give her a bath during the day and let her play. We go to the gym almost every day which has 90 minutes of childcare. I'm not above throwing in some extra tv time.

[ElizabethBennet]

Jun 23, 2013 21:09:49 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

I feel like such a shitty parent the last couple of weeks. She's just gotten so difficult at times. The great parts mostly make up for it, but I feel like I shouldn't be as stressed out as I am.

((hugs))

I'm right there with you. I wish I had some good advice for you, but I don't. It's hard.

[saraandmichael]

alcohol.

call my parents to see if i can have them take the kids.

im my husband that i am on my last legs and that i need him to step up when he gets home from work because i need to go off duty.

alcohol.

[Deleted]

H is home, but he's asleep.

Luckily, I think she just went to sleep, too. So, I might throw the monitor next to his head and go get a milkshake or something.

[anlo]

Jun 23, 2013 21:09:49 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

I feel like such a shitty parent the last couple of weeks. She's just gotten so difficult at times. The great parts mostly make up for it, but I feel like I shouldn't be as stressed out as I am.

Try not to be hard on yourself. Remember when she was a newborn and you did whatever you had to do just to survive? Unfortunately, there will still sometimes be days like that. It's okay to resort to survival mode. It is stressful - don't feel guilty for feeling it.

[Deleted]

We do get out of the house most days, but lately it's drama city at least 75% of the time so it's not much fun.

[EmilieMadison]

Jun 23, 2013 21:09:49 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

I feel like such a shitty parent the last couple of weeks. She's just gotten so difficult at times. The great parts mostly make up for it, but I feel like I shouldn't be as stressed out as I am.

Almost nothing has stressed me out more than parenting.  Yeah, it's worth it, but holy shit, it's a mind fuck sometimes. 

[saraandmichael]

Jun 23, 2013 21:07:13 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

I was supposed to take a couple of hours alone today, but I ended up napping- while she napped. So, really, no break. I haven't had time away from her other than while she's asleep in so long.

Right now, she is up in her crib yelling "Mommmmyyyyyy!" Which she has been doing for an hour.

I'm about to have a breakdown.

are you on your own?

i hated nights like that. and they seemed to happen always when i was in need of a big break.

[ElizabethBennet]

Jun 23, 2013 21:13:44 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

H is home, but he's asleep.

Luckily, I think she just went to sleep, too. So, I might throw the monitor next to his head and go get a milkshake or something.

Wake him up to let him know you're leaving. Don't ask, just hand him the monitor and walk out. A couple of hours even just walking around Target or something will probably do you a lot of good.