How do you handle days where you're just DONE? Like, completely burned out?
*Please don't answer this if you're all "I love every second of every day with my screaming toddler! Carpe diem!" lol
WhoTF is like this? Robots, probably.
It depends on what's going on. I find that chucking him in the stroller and going for a walk helps solve a lot of situations. Sometimes I stick him in his crib and then take a breather. Sometimes I scream into a pillow. Basicially I change the scenery and/or get away from him for a second.
Post by 2boys2danes on Jun 23, 2013 21:17:39 GMT -5
I'm just popping in to say how impressed I am that anyone can actually do this......I adopted older kids but I actually sent my boss an email from Russia while we were in our waiting period along the lines of "seriously, i'm not cut out for SAHM so I will definitely be back...dont worry" LOL looking back.
Thinking back though, we did a lot of summer kids movies (our local theaters have 10am shows once a week for like 2 bucks which was great cool entertainment and I would often fall asleep in the dark theatre. We did a lot of swimming, bike/trike rides over to my parents house, etc.
Hang in there... I remember early on someone told me "every month gets better and easier" and I held onto that....and they were right, it did
Post by statlerwaldorf on Jun 23, 2013 21:18:07 GMT -5
It might not feel like it now, but most phases do pass.
I would start scheduling something for you when your DH is home. Put it on the calender and take that time to enjoy the quiet without a kid around. I started doing volunteer work since I didn't know anyone around here and I needed some sort of regular schedule to push myself out of the house. Just being able to get some adult interaction without being on call has helped a lot. Sometimes things around the house don't get done right away, but that's okay.
I was supposed to take a couple of hours alone today, but I ended up napping- while she napped. So, really, no break. I haven't had time away from her other than while she's asleep in so long.
Right now, she is up in her crib yelling "Mommmmyyyyyy!" Which she has been doing for an hour.
I'm about to have a breakdown.
Sometime I turn up the TV really loud so I don't hear him.
H is really supportive, but during the week, he gets home around 6 and she goes to bed at 7:30. There's not much break time available for me.
The weekends have been rough lately because he has awful insomnia, so he doesn't sleep at night and is exhausted during the day. He usually tries to hold off on napping until she goes to bed.
I tried a local playgroup and I really hated the other moms. Also, none of the kids were L's age. We used to go to my SIL's house to play with my nephew, but she keeps canceling on me lately.
A couple of times (when my husband's been out of town) I have had to put myself on a 5 minute time out/quiet time. I explain I've not been very nice and I need time to myself. It doesn't happen a lot, but when I really feel like screaming at my kid I use this. 5 minutes of quiet while she's playing elsewhere (usually in her room) is enough to help me reset a bit.
Making her play in her room for a while is good. Or taking her out to the park to run around where I can just watch her is good too. I'll call my mom and see if she's free for lunch. She works, but my daughter's always an angel around her and an hour of her on her best behavior is so nice when she's anything but when we're alone.
Post by janiejones on Jun 23, 2013 21:46:49 GMT -5
I am about to fall over from the tired, so I didn't read any PPs (forgive me!)
I honestly find it easier to do things out & about with Freddie than stay home most of the time. It's probably because the car helps him nap, people we meet help entertain him (cashiers, playgroups mamas & babies, etc.) and I don't have to deal with the dogs.
Also, I will take baths at night just to close the door and have 45 minutes to myself. I'm keeping Lush in business right now.
Sometimes I will mentally break the day up into sections and just focus on getting through each one. First, it's getting through the breakfast/getting dressed fuss. Then we may play a while together, then take a nice, slow drive around the neighborhood. Just to get out of the house for a bit.
Next is lunch time. After lunch, I might tell the kids it's play time in their rooms so I can get a load of laundry washed/put away or just sit the fuck down for a minute, lol. I'm trying to teach them that mommy needs adult time alone, and that it's okay for them to have time alone to play, too. Your child might not be old enough for this yet, but I highly recommend it.
I am terrified of the toddler years. I feel like I'm in the sweet spot right now. She's fun to play with, silly, can play on her own a bit, naps, we have a good routine going but she can't talk, doesn't throw fits, or any of that fun stuff that I know is coming.
The key for my sanity is that she goes to Mother's Day Out twice a week, 5 hours each time. I have a nanny for when MDO is not in session so that I still get my 2 days. DH works crazy hours so this way I don't have to rely on him for a break on the weekends. We also go to music class and MOPS (mom's group) and playdates. I just try to keep us busy so that days where we don't have to go do anything are a special treat, lol.
I thank god my kids can't yet (reliably) tell time, put them to bed early, and drink. Or, I lock myself in the bathroom until DH gets home and then I rush past him in a hasty exit as soon as he walks in the door. ETA: During the day? TV is a good babysitter, at least for a while. I dont care what they say. And naps. Not tired? Too fucking bad, then it's just quiet rest time.
I agree with the 24/7 nature of staying at home being the worst part. Some weeks I never get a break from my "job," and that's when I go nuts.
My gym membership helps with this. The kids go in the play room, and I can go to a yoga class, or use the machines, or just sit and read in silence for an hour and a half. It's great, although I can't abuse it because my older daughter gets bored.
I also agree with anlo on breaking the day up into sections. We are always out of the house each day for 2 hours, then there's an afternoon craft while the baby naps. It doesn't have to be all Pinterest-y; my older DD can get engrossed for an hour putting stickers on paper. I also let her play games on the computer while I put the baby down for her nap, then take a half hour for myself then. Then the rest of the day is about eating, getting dressed, and bathing. We do baths before H gets home a lot so that he gets more time with them, and I get less time with them. lol.
Post by adhdfashion on Jun 23, 2013 22:25:06 GMT -5
This is why I refuse to move closer to town. I live in the same neighborhood as my sister. We can walk to each others houses. I'm a five minute drive from my Mom's house. When I am about to go postal the kids go to Aunties house or Grandma's. For a couple hours so I don't get committed. My suggestion is to make friends. So you can throw the kids in the back
It also gets better when your kid is in school and has real friends. We do at least one play date a week; either DD goes to someone else's house and I get a break, or her friend comes to our house, but they're old enough to entertain each other now so i get a break that way too.
LOL that it sounds like I hate being around my kids.
Tv, with a snack and milk. It mellows them out a little. Or, I go somewhere...one of my friends' homes where they can run around with a friend and I can sit and have a cup of coffee and be an adult with somebody else while perfoming minimal parenting duties.. Sometimes I give them stickers or watercolors, because they love that and it keeps them at least from being super whiny. Sometimes I have a beer. That helps.
I thank god my kids can't yet (reliably) tell time, put them to bed early, and drink. Or, I lock myself in the bathroom until DH gets home and then I rush past him in a hasty exit as soon as he walks in the door. ETA: During the day? TV is a good babysitter, at least for a while. I dont care what they say. And naps. Not tired? Too fucking bad, then it's just quiet rest time.
Hear, hear.
Yes! Yes! Yes! DD is 5 and she still has daily quiet time if we are home. I am a much, much better mama if I have an hour or two of time for me. I try really hard to have DS' afternoon nap and DD's quiet time occur at the same time.
My mom locked us out of the house a couple of times, ha! We were not particularly small.
I always thought the daycare at my gym looked like a nice option--time away and though I don't have kids, I know some Rage Against the Machine while working out always makes me feel better;)
Take them outside for a walk, take them to the park, stick 'em in the tub, put a movie on and cuddle up on the couch, offer to let them play on their tablets, beg DH to come home early
Hang in there. It gets a LOT easier as they get older and start going to school and formal activities by themselves. Not only does it provide structure for our days, but it tires them out and gives me a bit of a break. Win/win.
If its during the day (like before DH is home) I try a change of scenery which often helps us both feel better. We might go to the children's museum, B&N (loves the train table and. Legos and dancing on. Story time stage), turning on the sprinkler in the back yard and letting her go crazy, or if all else fails a TV show/iPad time.
If DH is home I hand her off and I would not hesitate to wake up DH (unless he was working some weird shift) my policy is I've been on parenting duty all day it's his turn to take point if I've had a bad day. After he has her I pour a glass of wine and chill in our room in peace for a few.
Henry goes 2x a week even though I'm not working anymore. It is something I look forward to in the sense that I know I have 2 toddler free days to get things done (or now, spend time with baby) or whatever. It has been wonderful for him developmentally and we've met seem great people through it. We have a nice little group of kids and parents available for bday parties or play dates, etc.
Also, we've put him in swimming lessons and his grandma will take him. This will also be a bit of quiet time for me,and it's something both Henry and his grandma will enjoy.
Oh and you absolutely need some time for yourself. I have a standing monthly MNO with friends a monthly book club and those 2 nights out do wonders for my sanity. We also do a monthly date night which is great for us too.