What made you decide to stay home with the kids or go back

[Deleted]

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[CurlyQ284]

Money. If that weren't a factor, I would love to work part time.

[Deleted]

Money. I make more than H and am the sole provider for health insurance so I literally had no choice.

[candreco]

I like my job a lot, and didn't want to take a long break away from it since I'd want to go back to it once my kids were older if I did SAHM for a while. On top of that, the project I work on is in its most interesting, fun phase, and I didn't want to miss out on that after putting several years into the less-fun groundwork.

That said, I'm considering whether I want to go part-time at a support contractor for a few years while the kids are in elementary school to have some more flexibility for getting them to and from school stuff and extracurriculars. I'd want to come back to something similar to what I'm doing now after that though.

[Deleted]

Money. Daycare for two costs about as much as I can earn teaching. I'd love to work part time at some point but I don't think that's financially an option in this area (DC suburbs) with my skill set and daycare prices.

I stayed home with my first for 5 months so I kind of know what I'm in for, but I imagine two changes the game significantly. I'm planning lots of play dates so I don't go stir crazy.

[allhis]

For me, I just kind of fell into staying at home. It was never my life plan. I graduated from law school the week before my first was born (on scholarship so loan repayment wasn't a factor). She was one of the most difficult babies ever. Cried ALL the time due to reflux and colic. I couldn't think long enough to make a meal or leave her long enough to shower. Searching for and starting a job would have been far too difficult in the early months. As soon as things got easier I was pregnant again. I also discovered that I kind of liked SAH, most of the time. We are fortunate that I when I started staying home, my husband moved from being a resident to an attending physician, so our income increased significantly at a time where it would decrease for most.

I plan to work in the next few years, part time. Until then I serve on a couple of boards and do lots of kid activities so I don't get bored. I will say if I had had a job I wouldn't have quit, just scaled back. I think working PT as a mom is ideal, but it can be hard to find fulfilling PR work if you don't already have a job with a company willing to work with you.

[Deleted]

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[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2013 9:07:03 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

Money. If that weren't a factor, I would love to work part time.

This exactly!

[PeonyParty]

Money and circumstance. I quit an insane job and was starting at another. The first week of training during the new job I found out I was pregnant and was so sick, that I had to step down from the new job. Once I finally got it all under relative control, I was so pregnant no one would offer a job, so I was unemployed the whole pregnancy. So when the baby came it just made more sense to continue to stay home. I stayed home for a year. During that year we moved and after we were settled, I started working again. (Part of the reason for the move was because my MIL offered to help with child care).

[kaybee85]

As mentioned before, I don't have kids, and I am now trying to figure out what I want to do. My H would like me to SAH because his mom did and I used to think for sure I wanted to. I've told him lately I don't know if I will end up doing that, and he is being supportive.

If I stop for a while, I am thinking that since I teach and have my MEd, could teach English at a community college adjunct for a few extra dollars/time flexibility/to help me not lose my mind. Plus, it would be related to my career to help with the gap on a resume.

[game blouses]

I work from home and go in for occasional meetings, so I get some adult contact. I don't mind staying home with DS; it's the days when DH is also working from home and we have to be super quiet that stress me out.

[calledout]

Money, in the sense that we weren't / aren't really willing to sacrifice so that I could stay home.  I like our nice house, in the nice neighborhood, travel, security in the future (college and retirement funds, etc.).  I also like shopping at the fancy grocery store.  We could make it work if I chose to stay home, but it would def be at the expense of that stuff.  And when it really came down to it, I ultimately felt like the choice to SAH was a selfish one, in that I'd be doing it b/c I wanted to, and not b/c I really felt like my kids would be better off.

My oldest begins kindgergarten next year, and I def plan to alter my work schedule a bit then so that I can pick him up / be home with him after school at least 3 days/week.
 

[allhis]

Jun 24, 2013 9:18:38 GMT -5 klekz37 said:

I get cabin fever, too. So I worry about not working at all and feeling stuck. I've been thinking about working part time, but I'm not sure how that would look as a teacher.

I'd think a teaching career would be fairly easy to do a similar pt job? Granted it wouldn't be as fulfilling as a true teaching position, but those I know who were once teachers are now subbing, tutoring or teaching a course at smaller colleges in the area.

As far as cabin fever, the only time it's bad is if you live somewhere with long bad winters (I'm in Iowa and last winter was bad). Orherwise, we are out and about all the time. I'm really social and passed that gene on to my kids, so we all enjoy going to activities or play dates daily. My kids no longer nap, so we are frequently gone from 10-4 at parks/libraries/friends homes/pool, etc. My kids sleep in too (still sleeping at 9:30), so my day goes pretty fast. Being a SAHM in the summer is wonderful. You do pay for it in the winter

[sunshineluv]

There are a lot of reasons, but money is the main one. I am the bread winner in our family.

I also get stir crazy. And, while I hate that daycare gets so many of DS's awake hours, the work life balance is good for us. I love the time I get to spend with him, and don't take it for granted. Sometimes on the weekends, I run out of ideas on how to entertain him. I would need lots of play groups and have to get out of the hosue every day.

[sunshineray]

I would still work, even if money weren't a factor. I love having my own separate life away from my H and DD. I tried staying home when DD was a baby, and I was just SO BORED. I could only clean and play with her so much, and there are only so many story times/play dates/mommy groups I could handle. I love my daughter, but I am definitely a better mom for having a career.

I always thought I'd want to be a SAHM (that's what my mom did) but it turns out it just wasn't for me. You know you best, and if you feel like you might get cabin fever, you probably will. ;-)

I can see how if you have more than one it would make sense to stay home. But for me, DD was an incredibly easy baby, and there was no reason I needed to stay home with her. She just wasn't enough work to make it worth it. Lol.

[kaybee85]

Also, I don't know how realistic this is, so any teachers can weigh in, but my thought process is that if I SAH I would stop once they are school age, since I'll have a similar schedule. I know I'd miss out on a lot of room mom stuff, etc, but I'd have the same breaks as them, and I could feasibly get home earlier than I do now and alter how I handle outside of school hours work. (Now I get in early/stay until 5 and then go home and take no work home with me)

[rex]

I'm staying home, at least for awhile. I will go back to work in the next few years, it's not permanent by any means. 

Oddly enough, it's because of money. My job pays shit and I would be in the hole AT LEAST $500 a month if I had to pay for daycare or a nanny.

I'm thinking at some point I'll watch another child just to bring in some money.

[Kristinmo]

Maternity leave. I was bored out of my mind. I am a much happier mom when I am working and have adult interaction during the day.

[Deleted]

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[cookie510]

Jun 24, 2013 9:18:40 GMT -5 ninjabridemom said:

Jun 24, 2013 9:07:03 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

Money. If that weren't a factor, I would love to work part time.

This exactly!

Me too.  I dream of working 3 days a week. 

[mommytutu]

Money. I stay at home because what I would make would go straight to daycare.

[sake]

Money. I would stay home if I could. I love being on break with G, and we find tons of stuff to do. And I don't get bored with it. But we need my income to maintain our lifestyle...

[Deleted]

It's funny, IME its more typical for parents to want to SAH the early years and then go back to work once the kids are school age. I feel like I'm the opposite. For a variety of reasons, I wouldn't want to SAH now. But my memories of being a kid include my mom home in the afternoons, and I get a little heartsick thinking that my kids won't have that experience.

But that's a mind over matter thing. The financial security of a dual income family will keep me in the workplace.

[Deleted]

I wasn't that into my job anymore and as soon as she was born I just knew I couldn't leave her with anyone else.

[ElizabethBennet]

It made sense for us when she was born for me to stay home. Any job I took would have barely covered daycare costs and I wanted to be home with her.

Now our financial situation has improved and I'm looking to start school and go back to work. I've been wanting to go back to school for awhile but each time a semester comes up we have other bills that need to be covered first. I'm getting frustrated by it.

[jayandemm]

Money. I was a dental assistant, and those don't work FT in my area, so daycare would have ate up most of my income. Eventually, I'd like to go back to work when he starts school [5 years from now!]. My working schedule would be perfect for that, since I rarely worked past 3:00pm.

I try to get out of the house at least 3 or 4 times a week, even if it's just to walk around in Target. Ds is only 10 months old, so the park isn't enjoyable to him yet, so he just tags along with me while I run errands.

[daisybuchannan]

I would't base it off your breaks from work now. Being home with a baby or kids is a lot different than when you're home alone. 

We decided for me to stay home from my full time job. The money would make things a lot easier, but we can live off of one salary. I'm working very part time (a few classes/clients per week) and it gives me a great outlet. 

[litebright]

I loved my job and my co-workers, and so I put off the decision until after DD1 was born. And at that point, I really wanted to be a SAHM. DH was 100% supportive and I think, knew what my choice was going to be before I did, and we'd planned for that option financially, so it wasn't a big deal, although things were tight for a couple of years. I still would've brought home a decent chunk of salary after daycare costs, so it wasn't a wash or anything, just an option I was glad to have. 

The first year I actually did quite a bit of freelancing from home for my old employer. Then they got closed down suddenly -- like, literally, everyone got kicked out on a Tuesday afternoon. So thank God we weren't depending on that income and I'd made the choice I did. 

Just when I really got the itch to go back to work, we decided to have DD2 and I didn't want to be pregnant, working FT, with a toddler. My second pregnancy was so much harder, physically, that that was a good call. I looked into a couple of PT options over those years, but nothing that I was offered or that would work. DH has a pretty demanding schedule at certain times, and it's much easier if I work minimally, at least right now. 

Now, I'm coming up on a year of being back in the workforce. My girls are 3 and 5. I'm WAH PT for my old job, which re-opened under new ownership, and we all work remotely; my old editor called me up and offered the job to me, so I didn't even have to work at it. I work mornings and have a sitter, and I'm with my girls in the afternoons. Sometimes I suck at balance, but overall, it's a pretty great situation. 

[alzi]

I went to school and worked my butt off for far too long to not use my degree. And, ill be paying it off for the next 30 years so.......

But really I love what I do and was bored at home during mat leave. I mean I would love a little more time with Alex but I'm happy back at work.

[Deleted]

It never occurred to me to not go back to work after DS was born.