Come in here and tell me it is okay to leave Leo for 5 days

[eddy]

So my sis is getting married in a couple weeks in Nor Cal. It is going to be an awesome wedding. Lots of great food, drink. A whole long weekend event.  I am the maid of honor and we are throwing the bachelorette party during this time.

So we decided early on that we would bring Jack, but leave Leo with the ILs. He is 12 months old and none of the events will be convienent to have a baby at. Plus I wanted to make sure I was able to pay attention to what my sister was needing and I didn't want to make my husband fly thousands of miles to just play babysitter the whole time. Jack will be fine though and it obviously means more for him to be at his Aunt's wedding. Sidenote, he is wearing gray pants, white button down, suspenders, toms and a green tie. It is so fucking adorable.

We will be gone 5 nights. Leo will be fine right? I know this is dumb of me to ask. Am I a crap mom for leaving him? He has stayed with ILs once and did well.

We are having a family celebration back here in Iowa a couple weeks later so obviously both boys will be there for that. We actually don't have much family going out to Cali so in terms of people seeing Leo it will all happen at the reception back home.

Tell me it would be dumb to schlep a 12 month old across the country for a wedding when I have willing care for him at home.

I know I will have more fun if he isn't there. I just feel bad. But babies are like dogs, they don't know how many days have past right?? He won't think I abandoned him right?

Sorry this is rambly.

[Kristinmo]

He will be fine, I promise.

The only thing that would make me tell you to bring him is if your sis wants him there.

[ax2]

It would be dumb to shlep him across the country when he will be just fine with the in-laws. Can you Skype, if he'd like that?

[bananapancakes]

He'll be fine. I'm sure he'll have a great time with the inlaws and you, H, and Jack will get to have an awesome time at the wedding. He won't feel abandoned. He knows you love him!

[eddy]

Jun 26, 2013 8:42:12 GMT -5 Kristinmo said:

He will be fine, I promise.

The only thing that would make me tell you to bring him is if your sis wants him there.

She would never say this because she loves him dearly but I think she probably prefers he stay home lol. A little one like him just adds a whole new dynamic to the event.

[Kristinmo]

Jun 26, 2013 8:43:45 GMT -5 eddy said:

Jun 26, 2013 8:42:12 GMT -5 Kristinmo said:

He will be fine, I promise.

The only thing that would make me tell you to bring him is if your sis wants him there.

She would never say this because she loves him dearly but I think she probably prefers he stay home lol. A little one like him just adds a whole new dynamic to the event.

Then go and have a great time. Don't feel guilty!

[eddy]

Also I am looking forward to this time to sort of reconnect with Jack. He has been such a good sport this past year and I want to give him an opportunity to move at his pace rather than moving at a babies pace, which is what we have been doing. You know stopping for naps and whatever.

[shopgirl07]

Go and have fun. Little ones love being with their grandparents and it's a nice relationship to have.

[daisybuchannan]

He will be fine and you will have fun!

Can you do a night where he goes overnight at the in laws just to reassure yourself. You'll pick him up smiling and maybe it will help?

It's so hard though, I totally understand that.

My cousins wedding is in upstate Ny, about a 5-6 hr drive from here. I know I can leave him for two nights, but here's the thing. The wedding is on his actual first birthday. His party is the weekend before, but honestly, I'd be a pretty big asshole if I left him on his real bday, right? My h is saying what's the point in bringing him and having him sit in a hotel rm with a sitter and I agree, but his ACTUAL bday? Ughhh.

[Kit]

He will be totally fine and you are not a crap mom! Go and have fun. Your IL's will take care of him and Jack will probably enjoy the one-on-one time :-)

[sparkythelawyer]

Grandma and Grandpa are going to have SO MUCH FUN with Leo.  And Leo will have SO MUCH FUN with Grandma and Grandpa.  In fact, I would consider leaving Jack with them too, so that you two can get a few days away and some well earned hotel sex :-)

[lissaholly]

I just left my not quite 2 year old for 10 nights and she did GREAT! This is a serious mama's girl, too. Bonus, she had a language explosion because she didn't have me to translate. Not that Leo will, but he might show some new skill.

Have fun!

[lolly]

He will be fine. My H travels a lot and has been away from our boys for up to 10 days at a time. They don't seem to notice the difference between his long and short trips. And they love him to pieces when he gets home. Have fun!

[eddy]

Jun 26, 2013 8:47:20 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Grandma and Grandpa are going to have SO MUCH FUN with Leo.  And Leo will have SO MUCH FUN with Grandma and Grandpa.  In fact, I would consider leaving Jack with them too, so that you two can get a few days away and some well earned hotel sex :-)

LOL

My parents will have no issue with having Jack sleep in their room so hotel sex can still be achieved at a high level.

Thanks everyone!

It always just stresses me out that at some point the baby will figure out that they haven't seen us for a couple days and be all "The fuck."

Jack was always fine so I am sure Leo will be as well. I also didn't leave Jack for this long at this age so this is new territory for me.

[eddy]

Jun 26, 2013 8:50:25 GMT -5 lolly said:

He will be fine. My H travels a lot and has been away from our boys for up to 10 days at a time. They don't seem to notice the difference between his long and short trips. And they love him to pieces when he gets home. Have fun!

This is helpful. This is what I need to hear.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Do it!!

[lilafowler]

It will be great-you will have fun, Leo will have fun (if the inlaws are like my parents he will be spoiled as all hell and not want to go home with you because you're not as fun (or so Eleanor tells me over and over when she has to leave my parents)!

EVERYONE HAVE FUN (WANG CHUNG).

[sparkythelawyer]

Jun 26, 2013 8:50:41 GMT -5 eddy said:

Jun 26, 2013 8:47:20 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Grandma and Grandpa are going to have SO MUCH FUN with Leo.  And Leo will have SO MUCH FUN with Grandma and Grandpa.  In fact, I would consider leaving Jack with them too, so that you two can get a few days away and some well earned hotel sex :-)

LOL

My parents will have no issue with having Jack sleep in their room so hotel sex can still be achieved at a high level.

Thanks everyone!

It always just stresses me out that at some point the baby will figure out that they haven't seen us for a couple days and be all "The fuck."

Jack was always fine so I am sure Leo will be as well. I also didn't leave Jack for this long at this age so this is new territory for me.

Eh.  They may be aware, but they will be at Camp Grandparents.  Land of eternal ice cream and staying up too late.  All will be well :-)

[Deleted]

It's ok! He will be spolied by the grands.

Go. Have fun.

[papie]

He is getting an awesome vacation at grandmas! He will be more than fine

[Deleted]

No, leaving him is fine.

BUT won't all of your relatives be pissed at you? Lol.

[hopecounts]

You will be fine and he will be fine.
He will be spoiled rotten by the grandparents and have a wonderful time and you'll have a great time at the wedding.
Enjoy it!

[eddy]

Jun 26, 2013 9:21:42 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

No, leaving him is fine.

BUT won't all of your relatives be pissed at you? Lol.

I said in the OP we don't have family that is traveling. There is a reception back in Iowa two weeks after the wedding. Obviously leo will be there.

[julez]

He will be okay, and you will be okay. I just posted a thread a while back because my H is taking DD to visit his family for 5 days (she's 3.5) and I was a wreck. Everyone here set me straight, and I feel so much better about their trip now.

It sounds like you're making a good decision for him and for you, and you and he will have more fun with the planned arrangements.

Good luck!

[tigress]

He will be totally fine! And you will have a great time without him and then you will be so happy to see him when you get back. Everybody will be wonderful!