I'm not a good caretaker

[Bernadine]

Does this make me a bad person?  I'm very impatient, and I don't like waiting on people.

I'm super stressed that J is going to need surgery for the torn rotator cuff.  Of course, I feel bad for him, and I'm upset that he'll be in pain.  But I am not good at taking care of people like this.  Xh had a broken ankle and a broken hand, at two different times, and I hated it.  And adding J's son, I feel like I'm going to be responsible for not one, not two, but three people, and it's a little overwhelming.  Also, it could happen around the time we might be moving, and I'm freaking about doing it all myself.

And I think I'm way overreacting about this, because it's not like J won't be able to do ANYthing.  But I keep thinking that this makes me a bad person, a bad future wife, and that maybe I wouldn't be a good mother. 

He goes to the dr. July 10.

Also, this is combined with the fact that it's looking like the house might not appraise high enough for me to refinance, and then we'd have to put it on the market, while xh is living there and trashing it, and it might not ever, ever sell, or we would lose tons of money.  The only good thing about that is that he has to pay half of the mortgage, and half of the loss.  But still.  I'm stressed.  STRESSED!