Tell me happy stories of early marriages

[disappointedkittens]

My friend is planning on marrying a guy that she will have been with for 9 months at the wedding.  They are very different and have had very different life plans to this point, and I feel really worried for her.  I'd love to hear some happy stories about your experiences or couples you know who married early on and are happy together.  I need to start thinking positively about this

[nsl]

I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, but I married my H when I was 22 and he was 23. We dated for less than a year, then spent 12 months in a long distance relationship before getting married. Ten years later, we're still very happy. I can't say I would encourage anyone to get married young (and I tell people who ask that H and I were "stupid young" to make such an important life decision, and really I think we mostly just got lucky to find such a partner we were going to remain compatible with in the long run) but not all young/fast marriages are doomed to failure.

[ElizabethBennet]

My H and I got married at 21 and 23 after knowing each other only 10 months. We definitely have had our rough spots but are in a good place now. We had to do a lot of growing together.

Eta: I would not encourage anyone to get married that young.

[soozy87]

My cousin and her husband started dating in November, got engaged in April and were married in July. Everyone said that they were rushing things. They move up their wedding a year and planned it in a few weeks (everyone thought she was pregnant). Almost a year (and no baby) later they seem very happy and have mentioned multiple times that they are so glad they didn't wait.

[kristie]

Well, DH and I got married when I was knocked up and we had known each other for five months. We have had some rough growing pains, but four and a half years later we are still pretty happy and having a second baby. I probably wouldn't recommend our route to people, but it can work.

[sake]

My best friend's parents met at a trade show, went on 3 dates, one week apart each time, and the 4th date, he proposed. They got married 2 month later, and they have been married for 33 years.

[emsumm]

My parents were married with 9 months of meeting. They've been married for 35 years, and are completely in love. Sometimes, when you know, you know :-)

[Deleted]

my parents met in a bar. my mom was 25 and still living at home (combination HCOL area/low paying job--teacher--and ye olde italian style), so their dates were short, chaste, and far in between. they got engaged 5 months later, and got married 5 months after that. it hasn't always been easy, but they're still together 40 years later.

[disappointedkittens]

Sorry I should add more info.  They are both 30, and they decided to get married when they had been together for about 4 months, which seems early to me as far as the relationship goes, rather than their ages.  When they decided to get married she totally changed her plan, which is what concerns me.  I realized that it's totally her choice to do this though.
She has never wanted children, and has a number of medical issues which would make this very difficult and likely painful/dangerous for her.  Prior to him she wanted to be a child-free police officer, live here near her family and friends, a big house and material things were not really a priority in her life.  Now the plan is for her to be a stay at home mom to 4 children and it's very important to her fiancee that they live in a big house and are financially able to support both his parents fully, as well as pay for his sisters education/support her until she's married, and that they live in a larger city.  Again I don't think that either of their priorities are wrong, but it just seems like quite a change for her and it makes me uneasy.

[disappointedkittens]

Jun 26, 2013 13:37:24 GMT -5 emsumm said:

My parents were married with 9 months of meeting. They've been married for 35 years, and are completely in love. Sometimes, when you know, you know :-)

Awesome!  These stories are great you guys.  This is exactly what I was looking for to help me feel better.  I'm just a worrier.

[circa1978]

My inlaws got engaged on their first date and have been married for more than 50 years. They had a joint law practice for many years and never leave each other's side.

My cousin got engaged three months into dating her husband. I think he's a douche but it's still working out seven years later.

[muddyheels]

I met my husband on May 17, 2007, We were engaged June 6, 2007, and were married on July 3, 2007. We have our ups and downs, but I don't think our marriage and struggles are any different than anyone else. Our 6th anniversary is next week and we have 2 little girls. 

ETA: My parents have been married 35 years in October. They got married after dating 2 weeks (they were in their early 20s)
My in-laws have been married 38 years, and married after 4months.

[disappointedkittens]

Jun 26, 2013 13:37:48 GMT -5 loonylunalovegood said:

I got married after nine months. Tomorrow is our 6 month anni. We are still insanely happy, like make people puke happy and I dont see that changing anytime soon.

Congrats on your anniversary!  I am glad you are so happy together

[amberlyrose]

DH and I were 21 and 23 when we were married after 1.5 years of dating. We'll be celebrating our 5 year anniversary in a few weeks.

My mom (21) and dad (26) started dating in February and were married in September of that year. They came from totally different worlds- my mom was a low income hispanic that lived with her parents until her wedding day while my dad was a middle class Air Force brat who had traveled the world and joined the Navy after HS. It took a lot of effort but they are still completely in love and have been married for 31 years.

[Deleted]

H and I started dating in January, got engaged in July and married in Oct. Oh, and got pregnant in Dec. it was a busy year.

It worked for us. There was a pretty big adjustment period but I think that's true for any marriage.

ETA: I just read your FU with additional information. I was 41 when I met/married and I had surrendered to the fact that I may never have had a H or children and told some people that I was OK with it. I wasn't and was very easily convinced by H to start TTC right away. Do you really know that your friend was OK with her choices before fiancé or did she always want it but started her plan B (police officer, etc) because it hasn't happened yet?

[speyedr]

My dad and step-mom got married three months after they met and started dating. They have been married 14 years this year.

[Deleted]

I know a couple who got married after being together 12 years (10 years of living together) and were divorcing 2 months after the wedding.

Time in a relationship before getting married isn't everything. If it's going to work, it won't matter how long they were together before saying "i do"

[beautifulfields12]

I met my husband (on craigslist ), got pregnant 1.5 months later, had a baby, and got engaged in less than 11 months. We got married at 2 years though. We are very different, but it really works for us. He is one of the greatest guys I know.

[mandy0810]

Your friends situation would make me uneasy too. She's changing her whole life for him AND she will be supporting his family. That's pretty worrisome.

Positive relationship: My BIL met my SIL in January 2004, they were engaged by April and married by September. They will be celebrating their 9th anniversary this year and they recently had my precious baby nephew last November after 4.5 years of trying. They are a great family!

[hymen]

I know a couple that got married after dating for approximately 6 months and are still happily married almost 30 years later.

My SIL and her now husband started dating in July, had an oops pregnancy in November (that ended up being ectopic), got engaged in March, and were married the following August. So 14 months from first date to wedding, and are celebrating their 8th anniversary this summer.

[StormyDixon]

my best friend and her husband got married after only knowing each other 3 weeks. they recently celebrated 13 year anniversary

[bex1973]

My H & I met in May, got engaged the following Feb and then married in December. It works for us. But I get your being concerned about making that many "big" adjustments to her previous life plan. But we do change stuff for love - sometimes it works & sometimes it doesn't. I think the best thing to do is be a good friend and support when asked.

[Deleted]

My BFF/College roommate met her DH in the April (he was her boss at work), started dating him by summer, and they were married in December of that same year. That was 1994 and they now have three children and are still very very happy together.

[nomad100]

DH and I knew we would end up married after only about 6 months of dating. But we were on the same page on most of the important stuff and within a page or two on the rest.

That being said, from what you said, your friend is doing a 180 from what she had previously stated as her goals. That would make me a bit nervous especially given the having kids could be dangerous and now they plan on having 4. Are they maybe planning on adopting? The totally supporting his family gets a side eye from me too. What about her family? Are they planning on supporting them too?

[papie]

My parents got married within 6 months, they have been married 37 years.

DH and I got engaged with 7 months, married in 15 months. We have been happily married 8 years.

[anastasia517]

My FI's parents married when they were both 21 and had been together for a year. They got engaged after 2 months. They've been married for 27 years now and are one of the happiest couples I know.

My FMIL's parents were engaged after 10 DAYS and were married at something like 21 & 23. They are celebrating their 50th anniversary this summer and are also quite happy.

[macmars45]

H and I dated for 1 year, 2 weeks and were engaged for 8.5 months. Only the first 7 months of that year and 9 months were we in the same town. We're still very happily married; we just celebrated our 4 year anniversary earlier this month. (heart)

My sister and her H only dated for 6 months and were engaged for 5 months before they married. Three kids and 9 years later they're still happy together.

[goaskalice]

Not exactly what you're looking for, but I've been living with my wife since 2weeka after we met. If our marriage could have been legal sooner I'm sure we would have eloped about a year in. 8 years later we're still in deep love with each other. We've grown a lot together, and it's worked for us. 

[fryjack2]

I don't think the length of time your friend has known her boyfriend is going to be the issue with their marriage.

I went on a date with my H in June, engaged in January ( had a wedding venue booked in November though) and married in September. Its been almost 5 years. We have the same values and thoughts on the stuff we think is important.

[disappointedkittens]

Jun 26, 2013 14:05:23 GMT -5 nomad100 said:

DH and I knew we would end up married after only about 6 months of dating. But we were on the same page on most of the important stuff and within a page or two on the rest.

That being said, from what you said, your friend is doing a 180 from what she had previously stated as her goals. That would make me a bit nervous especially given the having kids could be dangerous and now they plan on having 4. Are they maybe planning on adopting? The totally supporting his family gets a side eye from me too. What about her family? Are they planning on supporting them too?

From what I understand he has said no to adopting but they haven't had an in depth conversation about it because he's team "that won't happen to us".  However he would never want to see her suffer, so maybe if they are struggling he would change his mind.  FWIW I think she would be an awesome mother, and if they had decided to adopt, be foster parents, or was marrying someone with a child I wouldn't think twice.  I just worry about her struggling through infertility and medical issues when not having a child is something she had made peace with. 
His family is still in his home country, so they are interested in bringing them to Canada, and then making sure they each have their own place to live and are well cared for.  Her family already live here and have their own homes/jobs/etc so they wouldn't require any support.