Your thought process is the reason why many kids hide their pregnancies. I was a pregnant 18 year old year old scared kid and my mom drilled into me that she'd force me to have an abortion. I didn't tell anyone until I knew it was "safe". I had my son in October told everyone in late July.
My thought process would be telling my daughter that an abortion is the best option.
Telling your daughter that abortion is an option and forcing her/marching her to the clinic for an abortion are two totally different things. Forcing any woman, teen, or girl to have an abortion when they do not want one would be traumatizing. I can't imagine what a woman would face mentally and emotionally if they were forced to have an abortion. I would imagine they would never have a relationship with that person again, and lots of therapy would be involved.
Best decision I ever made! And no it wasn't a walk in the park by any means. But yes, I carried on with my life and haven't regretted a thing.
It might have been for you but I can tell you my sister had one 9 years ago and regretted it. She ended up also having complications and had a uterus infection. As someone who was a teen mom, I was afraid of my families' reactions. My mom wanted me to abort the baby. I obviously I couldn't as I waited to tell them until it was too late. It was my dad who went out and bought me everything I needed and was supportive. Suppose your hypothetical teen becomes pregnant and wants to keep the baby. Do you drive her to the clinic and force her to abort against her wishes?
and NOT having an abortion (for my unplanned pregnancy) was the best decision I've ever made. So how are you going to make that decision for someone else, when they could have a different thought process than you?
We're you 14?
Forcing a 14 year old, in my mind, would be more traumatic for them than forcing an older more mature woman. A 14 year old doesn't know how to process their emotions when compared to an older individual.
I also don't think any clinic would preform an abortion on any one without their consent no matter the age.
I would NOT be forcing my daughter to get an abortion. If she decided that she wanted one, i would support her, but forcing her to get one, would potentially irreparably damage our relationship forever. I would DEFINITELY suggest adoption for the baby, and support her in that decision, and picking a family for the baby, etc.
I don't have a daughter, so it's easy for me to say; but hell yes, her ass would be at the closest clinic. I would not blight the life of a fourteen year old by forcing her to raise a child she cannot care for properly by virtue of her age, and I wouldn't blight the baby's life either in that way. Babies are not object lessons, meant to teach people how to grow up and act right, any more than they're meant to save marriages or be someone who will loooovvveeee you if you're lonely.
My Catholic neighbor's daughter was pregnant at 13 by some gang kid who had robbed the house multiple times (he was 19) and her mother saw to it she had an abortion. The daughter was pissed at mom, all I wanna keep my baby etc, and now at 27 she is SO glad she is not tied for life to the father, now in prison for whatever the hell felonies he committed. (No, he was never prosecuted for any sex offense related to the girl). I would not have any qualms about this.
Sue, I respect you, and am asking you with out snark, and only interest in your answer, but why would adoption not be something that you would consider in this circumstance? It would not make her raise a child, or have the child grow up being raised by a young teen who was not prepared or mature enough to do it with all of the considerations that an older person could possibly have.
I don't have a daughter, so it's easy for me to say; but hell yes, her ass would be at the closest clinic. I would not blight the life of a fourteen year old by forcing her to raise a child she cannot care for properly by virtue of her age, and I wouldn't blight the baby's life either in that way. Babies are not object lessons, meant to teach people how to grow up and act right, any more than they're meant to save marriages or be someone who will loooovvveeee you if you're lonely.
My Catholic neighbor's daughter was pregnant at 13 by some gang kid who had robbed the house multiple times (he was 19) and her mother saw to it she had an abortion. The daughter was pissed at mom, all I wanna keep my baby etc, and now at 27 she is SO glad she is not tied for life to the father, now in prison for whatever the hell felonies he committed. (No, he was never prosecuted for any sex offense related to the girl). I would not have any qualms about this.
Sue, I respect you, and am asking you with out snark, and only interest in your answer, but why would adoption not be something that you would consider in this circumstance? It would not make her raise a child, or have the child grow up being raised by a young teen who was not prepared or mature enough to do it with all of the considerations that an older person could possibly have.
I also want to know the answer to this question!
@cse1960 - While we have different opinions, I can respect yours because you explained in a logical manner. Not blunt or abrasive. I like this!
Adoption is not an alternative to abortion. It's an alternative to parenting. I DO NOT want my 14 year old daughter ruining her life with a pregnancy. As of right now, abortion is a safe and legal medical procedure that ALL women should have access to
I agree all women should have access to abortion if they choose to have an abortion. I do not believe anyone should be forced to have an abortion against their will.
Adoption is not an alternative to abortion. It's an alternative to parenting. I DO NOT want my 14 year old daughter ruining her life with a pregnancy. As of right now, abortion is a safe and legal medical procedure that ALL women should have access to
I agree all women should have access to abortion if they choose to have an abortion. I do not believe anyone should be forced to have an abortion against their will.
Adoption is not an alternative to abortion. It's an alternative to parenting. I DO NOT want my 14 year old daughter ruining her life with a pregnancy. As of right now, abortion is a safe and legal medical procedure that ALL women should have access to
While the mother of the 14 year old might not be able to "force" her daughter into having an abortion - I'm guessing there is away for the grandmother of the unborn child to gain rights to have the child put up for adoption (if this makes sense).
Also, from what I saw from the first episode, this particular 14 year old with held the pregnancy from her mom. I'm guessing by this point it was too late for a forced abortion (or abortion in general). At this point - adoption would be the best option, IMO for the 14yr old.
You know what makes me sad? That teen pregnancy is still even an issue. There are so many preventive measures to take besides just not having sex. I know..."in a perfect world" but I seriously think sex and safe sex needs to be a household subject before "Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant" is the first subject.
Accidents happen, yes, but there are still lots of pre-teens and teens disregarding birth control completely.
THANK YOUUUUU. This is EXACTLY what I was thinking, but i was trying to stay cool, bc i didn't know how to say it without being crazy. Abortion is a BIG deal. It's not like the mom will never have regrets about doing it, even if she makes the choice. FORCING someone to kill their child, even if it is in utero is completely fucking crazy in my mind.
Obviously not everyone feels like it's 'killing their baby' and obviously you know this, yet you said it anyway. Check yourself.
I don't think anyone knows wtf they would do in this situation.
I sincerely hope none of us are ever in this situation and have to make a decision. Even mom's of boys! If I had a boy I wouldn't want him to be a dad at 14!
ETA: if my boy was a dad at 14 and the baby mama decided to keep the baby - you can bet I would be making his ass step up! And what he wasn't able to do I would until he had the ability!
THANK YOUUUUU. This is EXACTLY what I was thinking, but i was trying to stay cool, bc i didn't know how to say it without being crazy. Abortion is a BIG deal. It's not like the mom will never have regrets about doing it, even if she makes the choice. FORCING someone to kill their child, even if it is in utero is completely fucking crazy in my mind.
Obviously not everyone feels like it's 'killing their baby' and obviously you know this, yet you said it anyway. Check yourself.
I don't think anyone knows wtf they would do in this situation.
not everyone has to feel like that. i replied to her stating that was the way I felt, but I felt that others could make that choice for themselves, it shouldn't be made for them regardless.
I know that I wouldn't make my child have an abortion.
Post by pantsparty on Jun 26, 2013 20:19:58 GMT -5
I would not force someone to have an abortion but the "Just put the baby up for adoption!" argument bothers me. I've never been in this position, but it's not as easy as that. That is an incredibly tough and mature decision, and one that has repercussions.
You can find an example for anyone who regretted abortion, was glad they had an abortion, was happy they adopted, regretted adopting their child out.
I sincerely hope none of us are ever in this situation and have to make a decision. Even mom's of boys! If I had a boy I wouldn't want him to be a dad at 14!
ETA: if my boy was a dad at 14 and the baby mama decided to keep the baby - you can bet I would be making his ass step up! And what he wasn't able to do I would until he had the ability!
When my kid is 14, I'm going to be 50. While I can't force her to have an abortion, I'm not about to let an adolescent force me into raising a baby into my retirement.
Post by hopecounts on Jun 26, 2013 20:52:44 GMT -5
I agree I would not pressure/force a vulnerable young woman into an abortion, or adoption. I will certainly encourage either of those options over her parenting and push her to really think about her decision but if she ultimately decides to parent she will have my support and help with in reason (she won't be loving high on the hog and there will be expectations such as her staying in school and getting good grades, being a responsible parent Etc)
not everyone has to feel like that. i replied to her stating that was the way I felt, but I felt that others could make that choice for themselves, it shouldn't be made for them regardless.
I know that I wouldn't make my child have an abortion.
I don't think anyone said they would force anyone to have an abortion and I don't even think that's possible.
While I agree it's not possible, some people in this thread said they would. This is actually what the whole discussion is about.
Post by Captain Serious on Jun 28, 2013 9:58:26 GMT -5
I don't think anyone is arguing that adoption is easy. None of the possibilities are easy. It's just that at least with an adoption, the child can have a happy life and the biological mother can still (in many cases) have some contact with the child throughout that life.
While I agree it's not possible, some people in this thread said they would. This is actually what the whole discussion is about.
I thought it was just joenali (who I don't consider a very thoughtful poster, I think she just says shit) and she sort of qualified her statement.
This has come up before, and I know a lot of people have agreed that they would consider abortion to be the best option in this situation, and I am one of them.