But it isn't like you're creating a child out of thin air and saying, "I want them to be straight, smart, and white." The fact that you're adopting the hypothetical smart, straight, white child doesn't mean that the other non-smart, non-straight, non-white children don't exist and don't need someone to love them and guide them through this world of prejudice.
Very true. I'm just saying I can understand why someone would want to choose something that would make it easier on the child (looking like their parents) vs choosing something that is likely going to make it harder. I don't think it necessarily says anything negative about the parents.
Also I realize that you won't know if a kid is smart or straight when you adopt them But having a child that blends into your family racially is one thing one could pick, so I can see why someone would pick that (the same way you'd pick the other options, if you had the choice).
To be clear, I'm thankful there are people who do adopt kids who need families, regardless of race or disability!
Adoption, when you get down to the nity-gritty, is an ugly, horrifying process. You not only have to consider what races you are open to, but also what medical conditions, family history, if the child was conceived by rape/incest, exposure to certain substances, etc. nothing about it is easy or pretty, until you bring your child home.
What?! The fact that they put a lower "price tag" on a child based on race is horrific.
Did you read the whole thread?
I skimmed every post, yes. Tell me what I am missing though? ETA: I am mostly referring to panicfoots thread. You explained everything well, but that agency's "price list" in general is sad.
This is going to sound like an odd question but for those of you who adopted (or others), is it frowned upon when a white family specifically wants an AA baby? Like would it be considered odd?
I remember a girl on the old board (I think her handle was MayDayBride) who mentioned that they were looking to adopt and were listed in the photo book specifically for AA expectant moms to look at (the agency had 2 programs IIRC). The agency told her that they could have matched her with a Caucasian expectant mother sooner if they had done that program because as a Caucasian couple with a bio child, they weren't as appealing to AA moms-to-be. I guess their thought was that a Caucasian expectant mom might have seen "instant big brother" and an AA expectant mom might have seen "hey, my kid won't match the kid they already have".
I skimmed every post, yes. Tell me what I am missing though? ETA: I am mostly referring to panicfoots thread. You explained everything well, but that agency's "price list" in general is sad.
Yes, the price list is f-ed up. Your post sounded like you only read the OP and missed all the explanations.
How the fuck do you think you can tell if a baby is straight, @buckybells?
You can't.
It was an example of "things most people would want for their kid of they had a choice". Parents have no control over most things about their kids, being the same race as their parents is one thing they can. I'm not saying they "should" or that they shouldn't, but I can see why they would and that it wouldn't make them bad people.
I skimmed every post, yes. Tell me what I am missing though? ETA: I am mostly referring to panicfoots thread. You explained everything well, but that agency's "price list" in general is sad.
Yes, the price list is f-ed up. Your post sounded like you only read the OP and missed all the explanations.
Sorry I just didn't go back and tag her because I was being lazy
I know, I was appalled but not surprised What a shame. I loved the mother, she sounded like such a good person. I would not have been as nice to some of those commenters.
She's a nestie! I'm not sure if she is on GBCN, but she's in our Adoption Nesties FB group.