NPR story: black babies cost less to adopt

[Deleted]

www.npr.org/2013/06/27/195967886/six-words-black-babies-cost-less-to-adopt?utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=20130627

[dana2006]

I heard it this morning too. I had no idea, though it's not surprising. It's good that some agencies are moving toward sliding scale fee based on the adoptive parents' income.

[Deleted]

I know, I was appalled but not surprised What a shame. I loved the mother, she sounded like such a good person. I would not have been as nice to some of those commenters.

[Deleted]

Yup. This is pretty well known in the adoption world. It also takes less time to adopt an AA child.

When we started the adoption process we were told to be ready right away for a placement since we had a big budget and were open about race. There are few couples who can spend what we did who are also open to AA kids. Our son was placed with us 8 weeks after we signed up with our consultant, and it was a crazy whirlwind. We weren't even done with our home study.

I'm torn about how I feel about agencies charging less for AA adoptions. Part of it makes me feel sick. At the same time, I don't think we should relate the "value" of a child to the cost of their adoption. Obviously any child is priceless, and adoption cost is related to a number of factors that have nothing to do with how precious the child is. The fact is that there are fewer people open to adopting AA children, and lowering the price for AA adoptions makes adopting an option for more couples. There is a local agency near me who charges only a $10k flat fee for adopting an AA or part AA child, and DH and I will actually consider this if we adopt again. We can't spend $40k on our next adoption, we actually prefer to adopt a biracial child since our DS is biracial, and it's a really affordable option.

The situation is the same with special needs children. An agency will often lower their rate significantly if a child has some type of severe disability or health issue, and this is to widen the pool of potential adoptive parents.

I do think that widening the pool of potential adoptive parents to give a birth mother some real choices regarding picking a family is a good thing, but there is a definite ick factor in charging a different amount based only on skin color.

[janiejones]

I knew this, but like GoDawgs said, it's well known in the adoption world.

[karmasabiotch]

It's always been this way. It's sad that a value can be placed on skin color but it's a reality in the adoption world. Getting a white baby generally takes at least $20,000 more and 2-3 years longer.

[FastHands]

I think the point @godawgs made that it's not about *value* is a good one. I am fully aware that dogs are not children, but in the rescue world, there tends to be a big "discount" on dogs that are 2 or 3 years old, because evvvverybody wants a puppy. The 3yo is a great dog and it's not like it's 16 with one eye, but it still might have trouble finding a home.

There's a decent chance we may have to look into adoption if we want to have a child, and your story about how fast it happened for you makes me hopeful that we could be in similar shoes. Waiting sucks, and I have no care in the world what race our kid is.

[Deleted]

I think the real problem is not that agencies lower their fees for difficult to place children, but that that racism still exists. Some Caucasian families don't want to adopt an African American child due to their own racism, and other CC families aren't open to AA children out of concern about racism against their transracial family.

[VeryViolet]

Jun 27, 2013 11:02:18 GMT -5 @godawgs said:

I think the real problem is not that agencies lower their fees for difficult to place children, but that that racism still exists. Some Caucasian families don't want to adopt an African American child due to their own racism, and other CC families aren't open to AA children out of concern about racism against their transracial family.

I think this is a really good point. DH and I have discussed adoption as I think many people with fertility issues have. The hardest discussion we had to have with each other is how we could do the best by any future children. We decided that if we were going to pursue adoption we would be open to adopting a child of any race but as much as it sucks we live in a world where racism still exists and our child and family may face things that we wouldn't have the first clue on how to confront. 

[pixelpassion]

I'm glad that my agency doesn't charge any more or less for children based on their race. The price of adoption is set on a sliding scale based on the parent's income. The wait time was definitely a factor though. People that only wanted children that were white and infants would end up waiting years.

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 11:12:20 GMT -5 VeryViolet said:

Jun 27, 2013 11:02:18 GMT -5 @godawgs said:

I think the real problem is not that agencies lower their fees for difficult to place children, but that that racism still exists. Some Caucasian families don't want to adopt an African American child due to their own racism, and other CC families aren't open to AA children out of concern about racism against their transracial family.

I think this is a really good point. DH and I have discussed adoption as I think many people with fertility issues have. The hardest discussion we had to have with each other is how we could do the best by any future children. We decided that if we were going to pursue adoption we would be open to adopting a child of any race but as much as it sucks we live in a world where racism still exists and our child and family may face things that we wouldn't have the first clue on how to confront. 

I was concerned about this given that I live in a predominantly white and very conservative suburb of Atlanta, and truly it has been a non-issue.  Even up in the rural GA mountains where my parents have their vacation home we have been very accepted.  I'm sure plenty of people think negative things, but they keep their mouths shut.  He's only three, so we know that we are likely to face some kind of discrimination at some point, but I really thought it would be more of an issue than it actually has been.  There are some really great books on transracial adoption if it becomes something you seriously consider. 

[Captain Serious]

GoDawgs explained it well. It's also important to acknowledge that many adoption agencies are non-profit, so this isn't an upcharge for white children or a discount/sale of black/hispanic/biracial children.

It is just the reality that there are more children of color availabld for adoption, and many more white families who would prefer a child to look like them. In most infant adoptions, I don't even think it's a matter of racism. Many families adopt after unsuccessfully ttc/carrying a baby to term, and they just want to be a family. It's an uncertain time, and often a very scary and tumultuous process, and many parents are just put off by the idea that throughout their whole lives it will be immediately visually apparent that theirnchild is not biologically related to them. It means that the adoption will always be open for strangers to comment on, question, bring up inappropriate dicussions in front of the kids, etc. It brings a whole new dynamic into the lives of a couple that might just want to have a nondescript, family like everyone else.

[sunshineluv]

I never heard of this, at all. This is one of the many reasons I love NPR.

[Deleted]

You adoption people explained it all well, thank you.

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 11:30:20 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

GoDawgs explained it well. It's also important to acknowledge that many adoption agencies are non-profit, so this isn't an upcharge for white children or a discount/sale of black/hispanic/biracial children.

It is just the reality that there are more children of color availabld for adoption, and many more white families who would prefer a child to look like them. In most infant adoptions, I don't even think it's a matter of racism. Many families adopt after unsuccessfully ttc/carrying a baby to term, and they just want to be a family. It's an uncertain time, and often a very scary and tumultuous process, and many parents are just put off by the idea that throughout their whole lives it will be immediately visually apparent that theirnchild is not biologically related to them. It means that the adoption will always be open for strangers to comment on, question, bring up inappropriate dicussions in front of the kids, etc. It brings a whole new dynamic into the lives of a couple that might just want to have a nondescript, family like everyone else.

This is a good point.  The agency near me with what they call the "Heritage program" is a non-profit.

[pixelpassion]

Jun 27, 2013 11:42:20 GMT -5 panicfoot said:

When we were exploring our options after a few years of TTC, I found a private adoption agency in Texas whose WEBSITE has basically a menu. I've been trying to find it since hearing the story this morning but can't.

I don't remember the exact order or prices, but it was basically something like this:

Caucasian - $46,000
Caucasian/Asian - $42,000
Caucasian/Hispanic - $40,000
Asian - $35,000
Caucasian/African American - $30,000
Hispanic - $25,000
African American - $20,000

Damn, it's weird to know that you have some sort of socially constructed intrinsic value as an infant. I would have been a hella expensive baby

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 11:42:20 GMT -5 panicfoot said:

When we were exploring our options after a few years of TTC, I found a private adoption agency in Texas whose WEBSITE has basically a menu. I've been trying to find it since hearing the story this morning but can't.

I don't remember the exact order or prices, but it was basically something like this:

Caucasian - $46,000
Caucasian/Asian - $42,000
Caucasian/Hispanic - $40,000
Asian - $35,000
Caucasian/African American - $30,000
Hispanic - $25,000
African American - $20,000

Now this bothers me.  Asian babies are NOT hard to place.  A $2k difference based on just race is not for the purpose of having a larger pool of potential adoptive families and is naming a "price" based on race.  Hispanic babies typically aren't hard to place, either, but maybe in the geographical location of this agency that is the situation.  If AA and Hispanic children are hard to place, fine, have a separate program with $22.5k fee (because a $5k difference based on race is total bullshit), and then a $40k fee for all other adoptions.  WTF.

[Captain Serious]

Jun 27, 2013 12:08:11 GMT -5 @godawgs said:

Jun 27, 2013 11:42:20 GMT -5 panicfoot said:

When we were exploring our options after a few years of TTC, I found a private adoption agency in Texas whose WEBSITE has basically a menu. I've been trying to find it since hearing the story this morning but can't.

I don't remember the exact order or prices, but it was basically something like this:

Caucasian - $46,000
Caucasian/Asian - $42,000
Caucasian/Hispanic - $40,000
Asian - $35,000
Caucasian/African American - $30,000
Hispanic - $25,000
African American - $20,000

Now this bothers me.  Asian babies are NOT hard to place.  A $2k difference based on just race is not for the purpose of having a larger pool of potential adoptive families and is naming a "price" based on race.  Hispanic babies typically aren't hard to place, either, but maybe in the geographical location of this agency that is the situation.  If AA and Hispanic children are hard to place, fine, have a separate program with $22.5k fee (because a $5k difference based on race is total bullshit), and then a $40k fee for all other adoptions.  WTF.

Yeah, this is really weird, and not something I'd heard of happening.  I wonder if the agency is a for-profit and also if it has more to do with the agency being located in Texas, where presumably, racism (especially against Latinos) is more prevalent.

[StormyDixon]

do you think it goes back to the days of adopting a baby who "looks like the adoptive parents"? I know there use to be quite a stigma over being adopted too

[Captain Serious]

I think that's part of it, Stormy, but it's not just because of stigma. It's because you want your children to fit in, and not to always feel different. I don't want my sons to always have to answer questions from other kids about why they don't look like us. With kids, it invariably leads to questions such as:

 - Why didn't your mother want you?

- Why was your mother bad?

- Why are you [read: Why does my mother say you are] so lucky?

- What happened to your real mother/parents?

- Where are you from?

- Why do you live with these people?

etc, etc.

[Jermys]

Our agency's AA/BR program is subsidized by the state for AA couples, not for caucasian couples adopting AA/BR children. There are a lack of AA and interracial couples who are willing/able/interested in adopting and more AA/BR kids available for adoption.

[sergey]

I would have assumed a longer wait for a Caucasian vs AA baby but not a price difference. Somehow when money is involved it all seems shady and I'm not sure whether I feel good about offering an advantage for couples 'willing' to adopt a child with a smaller chance of being placed or upset about the inherent racist overtones of the whole thing. Note that I say this as someone who's looking to adopt in the next few years and is open to any ethnicity.

[Deleted]

Do you really think it is racism that makes a white family want to adopt a white kid? I'm a little skeptical on that, honestly.

I think if someone is going to adopt a child, they should be willing to love whatever child they are able to adopt (similar to if someone was going to give birth, they should love their child regardless of boy/girl/gay/straight/smart/disabled/etc). That said, if I was going to pick a child I'd pick a straight, smart child who looked like me simply because they would have the best shot at a "normal" life that isn't full of questions from other kids and being made to feel different. I would want my child to have it as easy as possible because even as a straight, smart, white person, I've found life to be hard and I wouldn't want to choose to make it harder for my child.

Now, I don't mean that to say that if given the choice I wouldn't love a child of another race. I absolutely would. But if you are in the position to be choosy, I don't think choosing the easy route would mean you're racist or anything negative about the parents at all. I hope someday to live in a world where nobody would think twice about a biracial family, but that's not the world we live in right now.

There are always exceptions, and I assume there are parents out there who wouldn't pick an AA kid because of racism. I hope they are the minority and that most parents are just trying to make the decision that would make life easiest for their families.

[demelza]

I knew a (caucasian) couple that wasn't able to conceive and was going to adopt one or more AA children but the prospective fathers parents were really pretty much against it. Sad sad. That couple has since divorced and had no children together. I can't even imagine my parents or my H parents being against adopting a AA child, it would be so rotten.

[Captain Serious]

Jun 27, 2013 19:36:31 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Do you really think it is racism that makes a white family want to adopt a white kid? I'm a little skeptical on that, honestly.

I think if someone is going to adopt a child, they should be willing to love whatever child they are able to adopt (similar to if someone was going to give birth, they should love their child regardless of boy/girl/gay/straight/smart/disabled/etc). That said, if I was going to pick a child I'd pick a straight, smart child who looked like me simply because they would have the best shot at a "normal" life that isn't full of questions from other kids and being made to feel different. I would want my child to have it as easy as possible because even as a straight, smart, white person, I've found life to be hard and I wouldn't want to choose to make it harder for my child.

Now, I don't mean that to say that if given the choice I wouldn't love a child of another race. I absolutely would. But if you are in the position to be choosy, I don't think choosing the easy route would mean you're racist or anything negative about the parents at all. I hope someday to live in a world where nobody would think twice about a biracial family, but that's not the world we live in right now.

There are always exceptions, and I assume there are parents out there who wouldn't pick an AA kid because of racism. I hope they are the minority and that most parents are just trying to make the decision that would make life easiest for their families.

Not to mention the fact that your kid will be dealing with all the issues that come along with adoption. The fact that they are not being raised by their biological family automatically means that they will have extra "stuff" to work through.

[rugbywife]

This is going to sound like an odd question but for those of you who adopted (or others), is it frowned upon when a white family specifically wants an AA baby? Like would it be considered odd?

[Captain Serious]

Jun 27, 2013 19:46:54 GMT -5 TR said:

Jun 27, 2013 19:36:31 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Do you really think it is racism that makes a white family want to adopt a white kid? I'm a little skeptical on that, honestly.

I think if someone is going to adopt a child, they should be willing to love whatever child they are able to adopt (similar to if someone was going to give birth, they should love their child regardless of boy/girl/gay/straight/smart/disabled/etc). That said, if I was going to pick a child I'd pick a straight, smart child who looked like me simply because they would have the best shot at a "normal" life that isn't full of questions from other kids and being made to feel different. I would want my child to have it as easy as possible because even as a straight, smart, white person, I've found life to be hard and I wouldn't want to choose to make it harder for my child.

Now, I don't mean that to say that if given the choice I wouldn't love a child of another race. I absolutely would. But if you are in the position to be choosy, I don't think choosing the easy route would mean you're racist or anything negative about the parents at all. I hope someday to live in a world where nobody would think twice about a biracial family, but that's not the world we live in right now.

There are always exceptions, and I assume there are parents out there who wouldn't pick an AA kid because of racism. I hope they are the minority and that most parents are just trying to make the decision that would make life easiest for their families.

But it isn't like you're creating a child out of thin air and saying, "I want them to be straight, smart, and white."  The fact that you're adopting the hypothetical smart, straight, white child doesn't mean that the other non-smart, non-straight, non-white children don't exist and don't need someone to love them and guide them through this world of prejudice. 

Most people who adopt do so just because they want a family, just like everyone else. Most do so because they were not able to have any/more biological children, but feel that their family is not yet complete. They aren't out to save all the children who need homes, and resent the notion that they should be willing to take in all the traumatized children that the rest of society has forgotten about. They aren't selecting a "perfect" child, but like any other expectant parent, wish to take any possible steps to ensure the best outcome for their family and child.

[discogranny]

Jun 27, 2013 19:36:31 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Do you really think it is racism that makes a white family want to adopt a white kid? I'm a little skeptical on that, honestly.

We have begun conversations about adoption if our final round of IVF does not work out. For us, we would be seeking a white infant due solely to racism. My ILs are extremely backward in their thinking and would absolutely not be able to treat a grandchild of a different race the same as a white child. It's ugly and both my DH and I are unhappy that we are having to make life choices based on my ILs hate but they are his parents and there isn't much we can do about that. We have come up against so much opposition already (IVF is the devil's work y'all) that even though a part of us wants to fight the "white only" adoption, a larger part of us just wants to be able to parent without having to deal with further opposition. 

[Captain Serious]

Jun 27, 2013 19:51:43 GMT -5 rugbywife said:

This is going to sound like an odd question but for those of you who adopted (or others), is it frowned upon when a white family specifically wants an AA baby? Like would it be considered odd?

In some circles, it is. I have heard of AA families disapproving of white families adopting black kids. I have also heard the opposite. I have heard both reactions from white people, too.

Similarly, I have had Latinos give us nasty looks or make disapproving comments about our family (especially in Peru), but most often (in the US) Latinos are overly friendly to us, tell us how lucky the boys are, flatter us, and generally go out of their way to let us know they hunk we've done a wonderful thing.

Most often, people just want to know why you would specifically limit your options to a particular race that is not your own, especially in light of the fact that it is important to honor their heritage and native culture.

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 19:46:54 GMT -5 TR said:

Jun 27, 2013 19:36:31 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Do you really think it is racism that makes a white family want to adopt a white kid? I'm a little skeptical on that, honestly.

I think if someone is going to adopt a child, they should be willing to love whatever child they are able to adopt (similar to if someone was going to give birth, they should love their child regardless of boy/girl/gay/straight/smart/disabled/etc). That said, if I was going to pick a child I'd pick a straight, smart child who looked like me simply because they would have the best shot at a "normal" life that isn't full of questions from other kids and being made to feel different. I would want my child to have it as easy as possible because even as a straight, smart, white person, I've found life to be hard and I wouldn't want to choose to make it harder for my child.

Now, I don't mean that to say that if given the choice I wouldn't love a child of another race. I absolutely would. But if you are in the position to be choosy, I don't think choosing the easy route would mean you're racist or anything negative about the parents at all. I hope someday to live in a world where nobody would think twice about a biracial family, but that's not the world we live in right now.

There are always exceptions, and I assume there are parents out there who wouldn't pick an AA kid because of racism. I hope they are the minority and that most parents are just trying to make the decision that would make life easiest for their families.

But it isn't like you're creating a child out of thin air and saying, "I want them to be straight, smart, and white."  The fact that you're adopting the hypothetical smart, straight, white child doesn't mean that the other non-smart, non-straight, non-white children don't exist and don't need someone to love them and guide them through this world of prejudice. 

Very true. I'm just saying I can understand why someone would want to choose something that would make it easier on the child (looking like their parents) vs choosing something that is likely going to make it harder. I don't think it necessarily says anything negative about the parents.

Also I realize that you won't know if a kid is smart or straight when you adopt them But having a child that blends into your family racially is one thing one could pick, so I can see why someone would pick that (the same way you'd pick the other options, if you had the choice).

To be clear, I'm thankful there are people who do adopt kids who need families, regardless of race or disability!