My nephew didn't make it a month out of rehab :(

[Wrath0fKuus]

Could she move, and then just not allow him to move with them?

[Deleted]

I'm sorry, Bam

[VillainV]

I don't know the whole story, but wanted to say that I'm so sorry. It sounds like a really difficult situation. (((((Hugs))))) to your family.

[bornbaker]

How awful!

Why can't she kick him out? Just curious.

[sparkythelawyer]

She should contact her local bar association, and see what low to no cost legal services exist in her county. She may be able to get some help. She can contact the nearest law school, as well, and see what clinics they have.

[sparkythelawyer]

Jun 28, 2013 9:38:06 GMT -5 bornbaker said:

How awful!

Why can't she kick him out? Just curious.

She has to have him evicted.  It can happen, but it takes time. 

[thebamker]

Well she can kick him out now. I just meant that she couldn't just tell him to get out and change the locks. she actually had to go file legal action against him. Since when did asshole adult children have rights to YOUR home? unbelievable.

[sergey]

What a terrible disease and sad situation. So sorry

[bornbaker]

Jun 28, 2013 9:38:48 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Jun 28, 2013 9:38:06 GMT -5 bornbaker said:

How awful!

Why can't she kick him out? Just curious.

She has to have him evicted.  It can happen, but it takes time. 

Sorry if this was explained in back story somewhere - but why evicted? Is he on the lease or is this court ordered living type thing? 

I know when I was 18 my mom could have (and would have) said 'see-ya' and kicked me out if she had wanted.

[thebamker]

Jun 28, 2013 9:38:48 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Jun 28, 2013 9:38:06 GMT -5 bornbaker said:

How awful!

Why can't she kick him out? Just curious.

She has to have him evicted.  It can happen, but it takes time. 

and why? He doesn't own the home and he's an adult.  why do they have to let him stay unless they go through all the paper?  I don't understand.

[juliagoulia]

Jun 28, 2013 9:41:22 GMT -5 thebamker said:

Jun 28, 2013 9:38:48 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

She has to have him evicted.  It can happen, but it takes time. 

and why? He doesn't own the home and he's an adult.  why do they have to let him stay unless they go through all the paper?  I don't understand.

It's stupid but in my state even if someone doesn't have a lease or ownership, if they have been given authorization to live somewhere, you then have to evict them.

When we bought our rental property there was a squatter in it and for the 3 months it took to have the deed recorded into our name we not only couldn't kick him out- we had to wait for the deed to begin a legal eviction. So he got to live there for free for another month and a half after that.

[bania]

Sorry Bam

[juliagoulia]

Also, I'm really sorry, Bam. This is so heartbreaking for your family.

[saraandmichael]

ugh. this is really sad. i'm so sorry for all that he is going through with addiction and what your sister is going through with his mess.

[cookie510]

I'm sorry, that sucks

[pedanticwench]

Sue has a very good point. I'm sorry this is happening to your family.

[bittybomb]

That sucks. I know firsthand how addiction can rip a family to shreds. Addiction sucks, and your nephew probably truly meant it when he said that he put that part of his life away. I can't believe she would have to legally evict him - I mean isn't she technically putting her smaller children at risk by allowing him to stay? (Not at all placing any blame on her but what kind of effed up policy is that?)

[StormyDixon]

what sue sue said, change the locks, put his stuff somewhere. whats he going to do, hire a lawyer and sue her? no judge in his right mind will fault her for protecting her minor children

[Deleted]

I am so sorry.

[Deleted]

Jun 28, 2013 9:52:45 GMT -5 Saint Monica said:

What about a protection order?

This. I mean, couldn't she call the cops and tell them she feels that having him in the home poses a danger and they could come remove him or something. 

I should have paid more attention when my dad would talk about this stuff. 

[snickers]

I'm sorry that sucks.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. Addiction is terrible thing for families to go through. My heart goes out to your sister.

[pantsparty]

I'm so sorry I can't believe she can't kick him out. I would change the locks as well. How terrible for your sister

[ilikedonuts]

I'm a lurker.

But my parents went through a similar situation with my brother. Not drug related, but he was in and out of jail. They would have had to evict him, etc. Getting him served was going to be a hassle because they couldn't sign for the certified mail since it was technically from them. They would have needed to get a process server, etc. By law, since he's been living there for X amount of days, he is a legal tenant, With or without a lease. Its crazy the laws someone who is basically a squatter has.

Plus even if he does end up in jail, you still need to go through the eviction process. Though he would need to get a lawyer to fight it all which I doubt he would. My parents were all set to evict my brother while he was in jail, but then of course my dad backed out.

I'm sorry your sister is going through this.

[Marle]

That's awful! My 2 BILs are like this and my MIL doesn't even try to kick them out anymore. That's why Logan is not allowed in her house without us. At least your sister is trying. But it sucks so bad.


I have personally gone through the disappointment several times with these two and that's nothing compared to what my DH feels. MIL just doesn't even "feel" anymore. They start doing well, get jobs, sometimes get enough money to leave her house and then bam! They do something stupid and lose it all at once; and are back to her house and she takes them.

I'm sorry. It's truly terrifying.

[UMaineTeach]

that's awful.
I knew some people once who were in a situation where the daughter was addicted, took over their house, and got a restraining order against them and the parents had to rent a trailer across the street from their house, paying both rent and mortgage. She was on the phone with her lawyer daily trying to get it sorted out.

[karinothing]

I am sorry. I had a prior prob with drug addiction. Luckily I was able to overcome it. I had to want to do it though and had to completely give up my old life. If he is still hanging out with the same people/same places, etc. It likely won't happen. I even had to change the way I dressed, basically burned my old life.

[secret]

My heart goes out to you and your family...my sister is an addict I know what it does to me and I can't even imagine what my poor mother goes through. She's doing the right thing even though I'm sure it's the most difficut thing she's ever done. Thoughts and prayers are with her and everyone involved.

[secret]

Jun 28, 2013 10:15:08 GMT -5 @simpledog said:

So sorry. This sucks. I'm pretty sure although I'm no longer surprised when my brother relapses, my heart still breaks every time. He is back in rehab now and every day is a mixture of hope and dread.

I'm sorry simple - I completely understand that feeling. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to vent to someone that can relate