I'm a bad X wife and mother

[Deleted]

My X has been in film school for about six years now.   He has been offered the opportunity to go to Croatia, his home country, for a 2-3 month gig working on the set of Game of Thrones while the are filming there.   He is torn about taking it because he doesn't want to be away from DS that long.  (This is the guy who has ditched DS on Father's Day the last two years, and didn't call a single time when he was in Europe for six weeks last summer, but that's another story.)

My point, which I'm slowly getting to, is that X posted on FB that he is torn about whether to accept the offer or not.  One of his FB friends told him that he should just take DS with him.   *SNORT*  Like that is going to happen.   X told the guy exactly that and said DS can't be away from me that long.  There was some back and forth, with X mostly saying it was complicated and just wasn't possible, and then the guy then told X that if I was really committed to putting DS first and cooperating with X I would take DS over there myself so he was there during the time that X was, just stay with X's family, and make DS available to him.  Then he told X he should consider getting a court order to make me do it.

What the mother fuck?!!?

To his credit X shut that shit down immediately.   But I'm now dying to know who the hell this asshat is that thinks I should be ordered to put my life and business on hold for three months and fly to the other side of the world to do nothing but sit and make DS available to X on a moment's notice.

[Deleted]

Can you hang on the Dalmatian coast

[LeggsBenedict]

I would just comment "lol."

[emsumm]

Game of Thrones!

[tdk2]

Wtf?

It'd be a neat trip for a visit if he wanted to fund it. But for you to pick up and move there hanging out for your x? Wtf??

[Deleted]

Jun 28, 2013 23:02:37 GMT -5 @mrsmarlowe said:

Can you hang on the Dalmatian coast

Oh I can hang on the Dalmatian coast. I can absolutely hang there.  What I can't do is walk away from my business, tell my judge I'm taking a three month vacation, and tell SO to suck it and put wedding plans on hold because I'm following my X to Europe and reasonably expect to have my same life to come back to.

To his  credit, he put the guy in his place.  I know that's probably shocking to those of you who have known him this long.

[zoidberg]

I would go on the condition that he introduce me to the entire cast and let me visit the set.

[pugz]

that is both hilarious and ridiculous

[Deleted]

Oh and can I just say... HOW THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN A DAMN QUESTION?!!? Geezus! Take the gig! I'll figure out how to use skype. GO!!

[TrickyBob]

Fuck that noise.



But at least he put the dude in his place. And really, even if you'd let him, what fun would it be for your DS if his father is working on a film all the time?

[Deleted]

How is it even possible to be in film school for six years?

[Deleted]

Ok, here's what we do. We pack up the kids and SuperWhy, and spend three months living on the beach creating our own hippie commune. You bring the eggplants.

[Deleted]

Jun 28, 2013 23:11:50 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

How is it even possible to be in film school for six years?

Well yeah, that would be the question of the century.   I'd like to know this too.    Supposedly he's been going full time this whole time so how the hell he's not done is beyond me. 

[Deleted]

Jun 28, 2013 23:12:58 GMT -5 @mrsmarlowe said:

Ok, here's what we do. We pack up the kids and SuperWhy, and spend three months living on the beach creating our own hippie commune. You bring the eggplants.

I heart you.   Would you like to speculate how how it's possible to not be done with film school after six years, since you know him?

[margotmacomber]

I graduated two classes away from a film minor (money constraints and shit) and I'm aghast at this OP.  

/sorry

[sonrisa]

I'm wondering if the friend in question was actually making fun of him: knows he is a dead beat dad and would never take the kid alone, even for a pure vacation. Then he escalated to "don't just take the kid! Take your ex-wife too! Available to see you everyday! By court order!" to get a rise out of him. If so, it is hilarious.

[CurlyQ284]

I think some people outside of blended families just don't get it. Anytime my DHs ex does anything, my mom says "ugh. I don't even know WHY you won't try to get full custody." Yes mom, we should spend $40k and ask the judge for full custody because ex didn't go to SDs concert. Judge will say "oh totes!" What was I thinking?

Ex's friend must be one of those people that don't get it. Don't sweat it for a second. Although it would be pretty sweet to watch GoT being filmed.

[karmasabiotch]

Some People don't understand how complicated and not easy it is to have a blended family, or in your case a child. I'm sorry.

[underwaterrhymes]

Jun 28, 2013 23:19:25 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

this is just too funny for words. Yes, you'll let loose of your kid for three months, so he can go to some god forsaken hole and sit and watch while Daddy works 18 hour days on a film set in god knows where Dalmatia, and you'll just pop over too and bring the kid around now and again for Daddy to pat for a few minutes and you go off again alone with the kid till next time.

AND you'll quit your job to do it!!! WTF is the matter with you, Unicorn? DON"T YOU CARE???


lol I can't even believe the nerve of this guy.

I agree with all of this except for the characterization of Croatia as a god forsaken hole.

Croatia is GORGEOUS.

[snickers]

Ugh I'm sorry
The friend clearly has no understanding of your situation and such.
I hope you don't feel bad because you cannot do this, because you shouldn't. He is a man, and this is a decision he will need to make on his own.

[underwaterrhymes]

FWIW, if your ex-H was willing to fund you and your son and you could take a sabbatical, I would be all over this.

But I suspect this is not the case.

[Deleted]

Why can't I quote?! WTF PATRICK!!!!!

suesue, Yeah thanks for pointing that out. The one thing I miss about being married to him is the regular trips we took over there. One of the most beautiful places I've ever been. And they're filming in Dubrovnik which is just freaking spectacular.

[Deleted]

Oops... wasn't SueSue who pointed it out. My board is all kinds of effed up this morning.

[Deleted]

Sue, he's struggling with the fact that the position is beneath his experience level. His experience being that he is actually a movie producer, in his mind... movie producer meaning he goes out with his friends and makes movies for fun and student projects. I suspect he won't take it, not because of DS, but because taking a real job where he has to follow someone else's instructions is now beneath him, even if it does mean he gets a paycheck. I believe the technical term you and and I would use is "voluntarily underemployed." *insert eye roll and heavy sigh*