Divorce seems like the answer

[ravenb1111]

Awe it will be ok... Even though it doesn't seem like it now. It's ok to hurt so don't try to ignore how you feel. When I feel like it just can't get any worse I tell me self the world doesn't stop because I'm hurting.. And what I mean by that is, everybody keeps changing, and evolves and progresses, and you will to. You're not going to be the only person who is put on pause and never going to feel better. You will, in time and it will be amazing. As corny as is sounds time heals almost anything. Do you have anybody to talk to? Or go to therapy? If not or until you can maybe starting a journal will help. It does for me because I can literally go back and see the changes and it feels so good, to see what thoughts were foolish, what were real, what I need to work on, what I need to never lose and so on.

[BlueBayou]

It is scary, but each little step you take will make you stronger and free. You won't be held down by anyone anymore and you will learn you are stronger and better than you realized. You have no idea how worn or how strong you are until you have no other choices. Praise yourself for every step you do that you thought you couldn't and allow urself to mourn and remmind yourself during that that things will be better. And before you know it you won't even have to remind yourself , you'll be there.

[doriswe]

Allow yourself to feel all of the crazy emotions that are coming your way. Allow yourself to cry/yell/sleep/whatever when you feel like it. Take care of your self. Allow friends/family to help you. Allow yourself to grieve the loss you're experiencing.

There is no set time to get over something like this (although it would be awesome if there was..."oh, in 1 year things will be totally fixed!"). And things won't go back to "normal", you'll have a new normal and honestly, it's a lot better than it was before! You will be so much stronger after surviving this! Take it day by day, hell, minute by minute on some days. And then before you know it, you'll look back and think, "holy shit, I can't believe how much better my life is".

Hang in there!

[explorer2001]

Hugs. It gets better. From what I've seen it a lot easier without kids. Once you get to a place where you have time and space to think it helps. There will be hard times on the road but it will get a lot better as soon as you can sleep safely and don't dread coming home because of whatever he might do next. Focus on taking care of yourself. When you are ready consider counseling. Lean on your friends/family for support. You can do this and it will get better.