on line friends and ds1

[Deleted]

You've skyped, so you've SEEN them, right?

[Deleted]

I really think, if you've seen them, it is ok.

You're willing to meet us, right?

Well, some of us. LOL.

[TrudyCampbell]

The idea of this scares me but then I remember I have met many ladies here on proboards. I think it's great you're so involved!

[joenali]

He could be on the next episode of Catfish.

[psychmom]

Can he have a hotel reservation as backup? Just in case. Since you've skyped I'd say its ok but its always good to be prepared just incase he gets there and the chemistry is off.

[Deleted]

Emilie stayed with me and lived to tell the tale!

[Gato]

I think you have to trust his judgement.

[Deleted]

Jul 1, 2013 21:30:39 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

Can he take a friend along? Or you go with him?

Go with him?

NO.

[muffin0]

yeah I wouldn't be okay for my daughter to do this, so I don't think I'd be okay with a son either.

But I would be *slightly* more comforted if he had another place to stay.

[Kore]

Jul 1, 2013 21:27:11 GMT -5 @gypsy said:

It's fine. Sign of the times. Way less scary than hitchhiking back in the day, you know?

Agree. I've met so many internet people alone that I am fairly trusting. Especially when people can be verified through work websites, facebook pages with a lot of obviously real friends, & skype.

I flew to Denver & stayed at gypsy's place.

[alicenelson]

Do you have any vacation time coming?

[Monica Geller]

I don't like this either.  I guess I'm in the "get him a hotel room" camp. Also, can a friend go with him? Then they can stay at the hotel without imposing on the family. This could be the "out" you need to get the hotel without offending the family.  

[saraandmichael]

i met my husband online. before skype, even!

i lied and told my parents that i had a friend coming with me to the airport to meet him. it was tough enough to go and do on my own, but with the added pressure of someone else there i'd have been mortified.

it is going to be great for him. and you totally know the address and contact info of where he is, which is more than you can ask for from a 20 year-old.

[Gato]

I don't really get why everyone is so worried. Didn't you all take road trips or backpack through Europe and stay with people you barely knew? This sort of thing is a rite of passage. His life apart from her is beginning, but she's taught him well.

[psychmom]

Google their names and address. If things don't add up then be suspicious

[Deleted]

I would stress that he needs to check in with your local family.

Like, if there's any way THEY could pick him up at the airport and bring him there, do dinner, whatever, that'd be ideal. Make the meeting-these-people the purpose of the trip but make sure DS1 knows he's got people a) watching out for him and b) to be accountable to.

And yes, I'd never in a million years have told my parents about something like this so GO YOU!

[Deleted]

Jul 1, 2013 21:36:45 GMT -5 Gato said:

I don't really get why everyone is so worried. Didn't you all take road trips or backpack through Europe and stay with people you barely knew? This sort of thing is a rite of passage. His life apart from her is beginning, but she's taught him well.

No.  LOL.

But I'm not worried.

I mean.  Look at how we are communicating right now.

[Deleted]

He will be fine.

Haven't most if us here met each other (well, except me, lol)

If they are legit people you can prob verify this through Facebook.

[speckledfrog]

You don't have to like it, but you have to trust him. At least he's letting you know what's going on. He's 20! Imagine all the things he does when he's off on his own. Or don't. Just be cool, Sue.

[Deleted]

Jul 1, 2013 21:36:45 GMT -5 Gato said:

I don't really get why everyone is so worried. Didn't you all take road trips or backpack through Europe and stay with people you barely knew? This sort of thing is a rite of passage. His life apart from her is beginning, but she's taught him well.

No.

I did dumb shit for sure but it was all with people who knew people who knew people.

Not people who lived in another state that no one I knew IRL knew.

(This is like literally | | < that much better, I know)

[Kore]

Months of daily talking = he prob knows this person better than he knows most IRL people.

Was there an obit published in an actual newspaper when the mother passed away? What are you worried about, exactly? That this person isn't real?

[Gato]

But what can she really do?  What should she do?  It's his life now.  I, personally, never consulted with my parents about trips I took after I moved out of the house for college.

[Deleted]

Do you have an idea of where they live? Like, big city versus out in the middle of nowhere?

This is scary, but no longer rare if you think about it. I mean, I drove up to PDX to meet a bunch of people from ML and trusted that they weren't a bunch of crazies. We do GTGs with our internet friends all the time. He just needs to remember to be smart about it and trust his instincts if he gets a bad feeling about ANYTHING. I definitely agree with the idea of setting him up in a hotel. You might suggest that he stays there for the first night or two and then he can decide whether he feels comfortable staying with the family or wants to continue in the hotel. He could also meet up with them for dinner the first night instead of going straight to their house.

[Deleted]

I'm not going to understand this because I'm not a mother, right?

You can say it.

[tdk2]

Jul 1, 2013 21:28:36 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I really think, if you've seen them, it is ok.

You're willing to meet us, right?

Well, some of us. LOL.

Hmm. You might not make her list.


Suesue- I know I would also struggle with this. But... He is telling you, involving you, and allowing you to help with safety precautions. This is good.

When I was that age, I went off and did some crazy stupid stuff and barely spoke to my parents. I didn't tell them a lot of stuff until years later. They still don't know it all, 20 yrs later. Heck, I didn't even tell them I was a skydiver for awhile.

So, the fact he's involving you is way better. Even though you get to worry then. It's probably share most or very little, so most is way better! I don't know if this reassures you any.

[Deleted]

I am so safe. I am not secretive. My life is an open book.

[shopgirl07]

I have a 21 year old son and I don't think this would bother me. I'm sure my son has stayed with people he knew quite a bit less than this. He's taken many a road trip and moved across country on his own and had to stay in a couple of less than desirable apartments before he found his own place. It will be ok, it's hard not to worry I know, but he'll be fine.

[Deleted]

I don't want to appear disrespectful, but when you were Googling did you find the mother's obit? I can't imagine a group of people (AKA friend's family) all lying but you don't know these people.

I hope your fears all add up to nothing but I would be nervous too. Hugs.

[Deleted]

Sue, you've raised wonderful men. You've raised them to think smart, stay safe, and use their head. You've raised not only thoughtful men, but men who can think. Just know that while this is scary for you, you've raised a capable and smart young man.

[Deleted]

He can meet serial killers IRL without the internet. I would be scared too, but he will be ok!