Why do LDS folks get married so young?

[Jalapeñomel]

I know this is a random question, but I´m curious.  From my experience the LDS folks that I know, in particularly women have very short courtships, like 6 months and get married really young like 18-19ish. 

[VeryViolet]

Sex

[Yankees21]

I think to have sex.

[bananapancakes]

PP beat me to it. To have sex, duh!

[panicked]

I know in the more traditional circles, they believe that God chooses their mate. Why wait if it's heaven sent?

[Deleted]

1.) To have the sex
2.) To get a head start on makin' the babies
3.) Because "God told them to"

[Jalapeñomel]

Sex seems like too simple of an answer!

[verycontrary247]

Primarily because such strong emphasis is set on family and the "women's role" to raise and nurture children a lot of Mormon girls are super eager to get married ASAP.

I was raised LDS and got married to a nonmember at 19.

[Yankees21]

I also think it's just traditional in that culture. Everyone I know who is LDS has gotten married very young as well.

[rootbeerfloat]

Yeah, sex. When we were in high school, my sister had several Mormon friends, and this topic came up. In her infinite wisdom, my mom advised us to "just have sex and not get married."

[sergey]

Sex, babies and I think sometimes, to avoid joining the workforce (and I'll throw in a preemptive I have Mormon friends!!). Also, it's just kinda normal and doesn't seem 'young' to them.

[kaybee85]

I would imagine it is just like any other conservative religious community. At least in my experience, there is the expectation that women will have babies/run the home (under the guidance of her husband, of course). So, yeah, sex, but also because if you think your purpose is a family then you're not necessarily thinking about college/other after HS life experiences.

I went to a conservative Baptist church in HS, so from my perspective this is not at all 'special' to LDS members, just any conservative group.

[Deleted]

In Utah, it's a cultural thing. I think it's sex, but we/they are encouraged to have a 'short courtship, long marriage (don't get me started on how stupid this is.) I actually had a bishop tell me that once. "Short courtship, short engagement, long marriage." *headdesk*

It has nothing to do with the religion, it's just a cultural thing. And, it's really only in Utah. In DC (which, fun fact, has the highest % of LDS outside in the nation of Utah) and on the East Coast, it's much more normal to get married at a 'normal' age.

[hopecounts]

I agree its more than just to have sex.
I waited until marriage and married at 24.
While I'm sure hormones and lust play into it I think it's also a product of the LDS focus on getting married and having kids.
When you hear most of your life that you are to marry and procreate your going to get on that sooner than later.

[Deleted]

Jul 3, 2013 15:28:54 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Primarily because such strong emphasis is set on family and the "women's role" to raise and nurture children a lot of Mormon girls are super eager to get married ASAP.

I was raised LDS and got married to a nonmember at 19.

I didn't know you were raised LDS! Did you ever hear the 'short courtship, long marriage' thing?

OH! Also, along the lines of sex, it has something to do with it for sure. LDS couples are encouraged to get sealed in the Temple and they can't if they're having premarital sex. So, they go ahead and get hitched. Plus, we're all baby hungry at 19 anyway.

[Jalapeñomel]

Ok, the "having babies and women´s role is in the home" makes sense.

[Deleted]

I have a couple Mormon friends and they have all been married at 19 or 20 and I'm just outside Seattle. My H grew up in Boise and it was also very common for them to get married so young there too.

[LeggsBenedict]

sometimes I worry about h's friend. god brought him and his now-wife together. god also brought his now-wife and friend's roommate together while she was dating friend.

[jojoandleo]

Well, my whole childhood I was told you have to go to college. Have to. That's the goal. So, when I graduated high school, I went to college. It wasn't even a question.

I think they are raised that they have to get married and have a family. That's the goal. To be a good wife and mother. So, it's not really even a question.

[Deleted]

Jul 3, 2013 15:38:58 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Well, my whole childhood I was told you have to go to college. Have to. That's the goal. So, when I graduated high school, I went to college. It wasn't even a question.

I think they are raised that they have to get married and have a family. That's the goal. To be a good wife and mother. So, it's not really even a question.

I'd agree with this. Although, while it's generally true of the culture as a whole, I don't think every single family is like this. My SIL is 40 and unmarried and doesn't really care. If my daughter didn't want to get married or have kids, I'd completely support her decision. I mean, it's her life after all. 

[wambam]

I don't know specifically about the LDS but in Christian evangelical culture it's common to get married young just to have sex.

[Deleted]

Well, except men are supposed to go on missions first.

I'm hoping the whole "girls going on missions earlier" thing will help shift the culture a little (and culture is a broad term since it's a world-wide religion in various geographic cultures). Before, you couldn't go on a mission as a sister until 21, which was prime marrying age. So not many went, and many went right from college to marriage. Now, they can go at 19, which is in the middle of college. So they'd be gone for 18 months, still have another 2 years in school, and then get married.

I know some people get married in college (my BIL married his wife when she was 20 and they are both still in college) but maybe it'll shift a little. This is probably overly optimistic.

[Deleted]

I'm pretty fucking liberal and I got married young, lol.

[Miss Phryne Fisher]

Sex. Lots of people also who get divorced in the LDS church get re-married very quickly once they find another mate.

Also from my LDS friends I do know that once you hit like 26-27 you are in decrepit old spinster stage, forget 30+. They have special wards for those who are single and under 30, very meet-markety.

[Deleted]

I was hoping you'd find this thread ninjabridemom!!

[Deleted]

Jul 3, 2013 15:47:03 GMT -5 Miss Phryne Fisher said:

Sex. Lots of people also who get divorced in the LDS church get re-married very quickly once they find another mate.

Also from my LDS friends I do know that once you hit like 26-27 you are in decrepit old spinster stage, forget 30+. They have special wards for those who are single and under 30, very meet-markety.

www.modernmormonmen.com/2013/05/the-infantilisation-of-young-single.html

[Deleted]

I think they believe their primary purpose in life is to raise a righteous family, so why not get started ASAP?

[jojoandleo]

Jul 3, 2013 15:43:42 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

My one LDS friend got married young, in Florida. She's a SAHM, but she did go to college.

I always get annoyed/defensive at the speculation that conservatives get married young for the sex. It's an oversimplification and it comes off as condescending (which is probably the intent).

I didn't mean to imply they don't go to college. I just meant when you are raised where that is the norm and expectation, you don't really question it, if that makes sense?

[Miss Phryne Fisher]

Jul 3, 2013 16:01:12 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jul 3, 2013 15:43:42 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

My one LDS friend got married young, in Florida. She's a SAHM, but she did go to college.

I always get annoyed/defensive at the speculation that conservatives get married young for the sex. It's an oversimplification and it comes off as condescending (which is probably the intent).

I didn't mean to imply they don't go to college. I just meant when you are raised where that is the norm and expectation, you don't really question it, if that makes sense?

It is what is expected, I guess sex is just a perk then? I don't know ANY LDS who didn't go to, and finish college. Lots do that. Many have several children while in college. It is just what is done, as far as I can see. 

[hopecounts]

Jul 3, 2013 15:43:42 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I always get annoyed/defensive at the speculation that conservatives get married young for the sex. It's an oversimplification and it comes off as condescending (which is probably the intent).

Me too. and I agree it feels condescending that someone could choose to wait and marry young for reasons other than just to have sex. 
Like any decision to marry lots of things play into it. Life goals (having kids, going to college or for an advanced to degree, etc.) when you meet someone you want to marry and what their plans are, etc.
DH and I married younger (we were 24) and we married when we did because we were through school, He was getting ready to start a new job and move, etc. it just made sense for us to take that step at that time.