"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I'm glad you were brave and made the right move for your family. My wife cut off contact with my MIL for about 2 years. It was the best thing ever! Now that MIL has calmed down a bit we're back in contact, but very cautiously.
also has she always been like this? Her behavior is similar to what I've seen in those with borderline personality disorder and/or narcissism.
Yes she has always been like this, she can say what ever she wants and when she is done fighting she expects everything to go back to "normal" and acts like nothing has ever happened.
She is so exhausting and manipulative. I couldn't let this go and have her think it was okay to say things about my H that are not true. She has never had a healthy relationship with a man so she sees my relationship with my H as wrong.
I'm glad you were brave and made the right move for your family. My wife cut off contact with my MIL for about 2 years. It was the best thing ever! Now that MIL has calmed down a bit we're back in contact, but very cautiously.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I'm glad you were brave and made the right move for your family. My wife cut off contact with my MIL for about 2 years. It was the best thing ever! Now that MIL has calmed down a bit we're back in contact, but very cautiously.
You might google BPD and see if it matches your experiences with her. There are some good books out there for families dealing with it. I know one is called Walking on Eggshells. It might be helpful and reinforce how to have healthy boundaries with her.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
You already got some great advice but I just wanted to put in my 2 cents. My mom is an alcoholic and frequently says mean things about DH. She also thinks that the bond I have with her overrules the one with DH. I really do think there is something to what someone has said above, that she is upset she can't control you. She probably just wants you for herself. I know my mother does.
My mother also for my entire life has managed to make me feel like I am a bad daughter. I now know this is not true. Please don't let her control your mind like that, it is so upsetting and destructive.
I don't know about this one. I agree that she sounds controlling and is bothered by the fact that just because mom said it, you don't drop everything and take her advice. Her little girl has grown up and is making her own decisions, and she doesn't like it.
That said, I don't know how I would handle this. My father and I quit speaking when I was 17, because I was an asshole and we are very similar, pretty bullheaded. Then one day I got a phone call. He had a heart attack and the meds caused a brain bleed. He was in a coma and they didn't think he would make it. Get to the hospital now. I wouldn't want anyone to have to sit next to a hospital bed, knowing that the last words they spoke to a parent were hateful. Thankfully he pulled out of it with no brain damage and we were lucky enough to talk again.
Just speaking from my own experience, you so don't want to be next to that hospital bed, thinking those thoughts. Yet, I also know that some people, blood relations or not, aren't healthy for us.
I don't know how I would handle your situation, but from my lesson learned, it wouldn't be to part with hateful words.