I'm such a bitch wife sometimes :(

[Deleted]

I have been wanting an SLR camera for a while now but haven't wanted to spend the money on it. This week there has been a contest going on at H's work and the prize was a Canon Rebel (I don't know any other details on model or anything). So H busted his butt all week (he's in sales) and was put in the running for this camera. He found out today that he did not win. Coworker that did win stopped H in the parking lot and offered him the camera. Said that his wife already has one, he has no use for it and knows how hard H worked all week and how much I want it. Free of charge...just take it. H felt bad taking it for nothing so gave him $200. I just got a Canon Rebel for $200...and I am annoyed.

We are trying so hard to save and buy a house later this year or early next year. I HATE where we live and I hate renting. I haven't been spending any unnecessary money. Packing lunch every day, no dinners out, doing my own eyebrows instead of paying to have them waxed. Anything I can think of to cut back spending and H just wrote out this check without even talking to me.

I am completely in the wrong here, aren't I?

[cereal K]

yes.

[Deleted]

Jul 5, 2013 14:58:11 GMT -5 cereal K said:

yes.

I know

In my teeny tiny defense, I'm still annoyed that I wanted Dairy Queen the other night and H bitched at me for spending on crap when we're trying to save.

[sergey]

Yeah, maybe a favor would have been a better trade than money but it's probably not worth being annoyed over. Just enjoy the new camera instead.

[iamgrace]

Uh, yes. And co worker dude is a swell guy.

[Deleted]

Aww, he sounds like he's just trying to make you happy.

[luckyval]

You're looking a gift horse in the mouth - your H did something really nice for you and did the right thing by giving his cow something for it

[janegold]

Yup, you are. Your H sounds like a great guy.

[psychmom]

Edited. Reading comprehension fail.


Your h sounds like he wanted to make you happy. If you have the money to cover it,just accept it graciously.

[rex]

Yeah, you're completely wrong here.

Your husband busted his ass off for you to make you happy. I hope you didn't express your annoyance to him. Just be happy about it! And that coworker also rocks.

[TemperanceBrennan]

I think that you should not be mad at your H and enjoy your new camera. He is trying really hard to get you something you want and make you happy.

He's trying to be sweet.

[psychmom]

Jul 5, 2013 15:05:44 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Jul 5, 2013 15:02:13 GMT -5 psychmom said:

Can you return the camera you bought?

Why? Well, I guess you could make 200-300 off the camera...

I misread the last sentence of the folirst paragraph. My bad. I thought she said she had also just bought a camera.... in addition to the one her H bought.

[mrssandro]

Yes. That was sweet of the guy and DH.

[Deleted]

I did not express any annoyance to H. I 100% know how lucky I am and how good he is to me and am very thankful and appreciative.

[eb777888]

Jul 5, 2013 15:00:21 GMT -5 Que? said:

Dude. Evaluate yourself. He doesn't see this as unnecessary money.

Yeah, I think this is the thing here.

Enjoy your camera!!! Be happy about it. 

[jenhappy]

An awesome deal on a camera that will last forever isn't the same as wasting money on fast food. It's a splurge, but he is doing it to make you happy, in addition to having busted his hump.

[meggers5]

Jul 5, 2013 15:01:50 GMT -5 luckyval said:

You're looking a gift horse in the mouth - your H did something really nice for you and did the right thing by giving his cow something for it

This is cracking me up so much more than it should.

Other than that, yes op I think you need to cut him some slack on this.

[Deleted]

Jul 5, 2013 15:46:30 GMT -5 luckydog said:

You need to appreciate his efforts. Not just show him but feel it too.

I do very much appreciate all that he does for me. I know it doesn't sound like it here but I do. 

[eav2c]

Your H's coworker did an amazingly kind thing. He could have gone and made double and then some what your H paid him. I'd be mad if my H didn't pay something for it, actually. This seems like a really fair and trade. Your H did good, give him a break.

[Deleted]

Jul 5, 2013 15:49:14 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Jul 5, 2013 14:59:16 GMT -5 twostep said:

I know

In my teeny tiny defense, I'm still annoyed that I wanted Dairy Queen the other night and H bitched at me for spending on crap when we're trying to save.

this is so not the same thing.

Lol I know. 

I think I'm just annoyed because I feel like I have to run every purchase by H. We have joint accounts, all money goes into it and H pays the bills. I'm working 2 jobs and putting all of my child support into these accounts and trying to pay off debt and save for our house. H makes more than me and just buys whatever he wants. He wants new sneakers, go do it. He wants to go out to dinner, let's go. He wants to go to the beach, we go. But I go into target and spend $40 and he complains about my spending because we're supposed to be saving. Even though what he did today was very sweet and entirely for me, I just wish that I felt like an equal in the money matters. 

[janiejones]

Jul 5, 2013 15:00:34 GMT -5 @ygmg said:

Aww, he sounds like he's just trying to make you happy.

Ditto this! Give him a huge hug and say thanks. He sounds like a good husband.

[Deleted]

You're way off base here. I think what your H did was sweet.

[Deleted]

APOLOGIZE

[Deleted]

Oh yes. You are wrong. Enjoy your camera.

[Deleted]

Well, your update is very different than a one time nice gesture. A) say thank you and b) have a very frank conversation with your husband about the lack of equality you feel as it relates to finances. Preferably, these things will not happen together.

[lime]

Jul 5, 2013 15:55:36 GMT -5 twostep said:

Jul 5, 2013 15:49:14 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

this is so not the same thing.

Lol I know. 

I think I'm just annoyed because I feel like I have to run every purchase by H. We have joint accounts, all money goes into it and H pays the bills. I'm working 2 jobs and putting all of my child support into these accounts and trying to pay off debt and save for our house. H makes more than me and just buys whatever he wants. He wants new sneakers, go do it. He wants to go out to dinner, let's go. He wants to go to the beach, we go. But I go into target and spend $40 and he complains about my spending because we're supposed to be saving. Even though what he did today was very sweet and entirely for me, I just wish that I felt like an equal in the money matters. 

Well, this is new information. 

Have you had a discussion with him regarding this?

[Deleted]

Ok, I'll be an outlier here

Free would've been better than $200. LOL.

[pantsparty]

Yes

[AHappierHour]

Did your husband know you spent $200 on a new camera? If you don't want both put one on CL.

[hopecounts]

You're confusing 2 separate issues.
issue 1) your DH did something really sweet and you should say Thank You and appreciate it.

Issue 2) the 2 of you are supposed to be saving for a house and you feel that your the one making all the sacrifices to make that happen.

Wait a week or so and bring up the second issue without bringing in the camera issue since it'll just muddy the waters. Keep the conversation on the goal you both have of saving for a house and how you can make that happen. Maybe make a household budget where you both have some fun money to spend without judgment from the other.
That is an important piece of our budget because I don't want to have to run by DH whether I can buy a book and he doesn't want to check with me about getting a coffee from starbucks. This way we can each feel like we have a little freedom to make a purchase here and there without blowing the budget or upsetting the other person.