I say nothing here, right?

[DotAndBuzz]

BFF thinks she chose our dresses for the wedding.  She wants us to wear a short, strapless (sweetheart neckline) gray and white seersucker.  For an October wedding.  *sigh*

She sent us links to other dresses that are gorgeous, and seasonally appropriate, but said she's 95% sure she wants the seersucker.  AND, it is on clearance online, so we have to move fast if we're actually going to get it.
She said she knows seersucker is typically a summer fabric, but she loves it, and it can still be warm in October.  :\

Is there any way at ALL I can talk her out of this without being "that bridesmaid?"  I am going to end up in this dress, aren't I. 

[wambam]

Yeah, it's really her choice.

[lime]

Fingers crossed that is sells out online.

[noodleoo]

Link?

Is any part of the wedding outside? If yes, then I think you can mention you are worried about being cold. If not, then yeah, I think you are stuck with it.

[pantsparty]

The seersucker is out of your size?

[wannabe]

Sorry dude, I don't think you should say anything. If she loves it, you wear it.

It usually is pretty warm in October though

[eb777888]

Man. See, the thing is, I would ALWAYS want a friend to speak up if I'm clearly wrong in a situation like this but I'm always the last to speak up in a situation like this.

I might say, "oh, how do you think it would still be warm? Are we doing shrugs or something." (lol, I'm not even 100% on what a shrug is).

[sparkythelawyer]

Shut up and buy the dress. Sorry, I know it sucks.

[panicked]

I'm in the same boat. My sister picked out a really beautiful dress for the bridal party, but it's TOTALLY not my style. I'm just shutting my mouth and wearing it with a smile.

[adhdfashion]

No one likes their bridesmaid dresses. The things we do for people we love.

Sent from my SCH-S720C using proboards

[RoxMonster]

I mean, I guess the ultimate decision is hers, but I'm always of the opinion that if the BMs are the ones wearing the dress and doling out cash for it, they should at least get some input or opinion asked.

I don't think it's out of line to pick out one of the more seasonally-appropriate dresses she sent and say, "BFF, I LOVE this dress! Would this be an option at all?"

If she is dead set on the seersucker, oh well. But I don't think it's out of line to suggest something else either.

[grover]

Yeah, I wore a short, strapless light pink dress outside last October. Granted, it wasn't seersucker. I was the only one to wear hose, and it helped keep my legs okay during the ceremony, but I froze my ass off during the outdoor pictures. I think I would have been okay if the ceremony/pictures had been inside. Good news is though, if she does go with that dress, is that it's only for a few hours.

[noodleoo]

Jul 7, 2013 11:22:41 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Man. See, the thing is, I would ALWAYS want a friend to speak up if I'm clearly wrong in a situation like this but I'm always the last to speak up in a situation like this.

I felt the same way.  It actually drove me nuts that my girls refused to have an opinion on the dresses.  I kept asking what they liked, asking them to choose between dresses and they just said they liked them all.  I would have been happy for the to say we like THIS one!

but that also depends on what type of bride your friend is.  

[pantsparty]

I have to be honest, I might say something like, "Oh, people are going to think it's a summer wedding when they see your pictures!" This will most likely VERY MUCH bother the bride, as they typically want their season to be evident in the photographs, LOL.

If that doesn't sway her, seersucker it is.

[underwaterrhymes]

Yeah, you kind of have to suck it up. Sorry.

[lilybug]

I probably wouldn't say anything unless it looked like it was going to sell out. Mayyyybe I would I ask about sweaters in case it's cool. But if her heart is set on seersucker, I would absolutely wear seersucker.

[DotAndBuzz]

All indoor event.

Well, I emailed her that I do like the dress (because I do), but mentioned that it is final sale, and not able to be exchanged or returned if we buy it and it doesn't fit. That is, IMO, a legitimate concern, and I don't think there's a store around where I could try it on. I have no fucking CLUE what my size would be in J.Crew, and have been burned many times by online size charts (didn't mention that part to her).

link:

www.jcrew.com/womens_special_sizes/size/dresses/PRDOVR~29045/99102982785/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~~17~15~all~mode+matchallany~~~~~seersucker/29045.jsp

[sparkythelawyer]

Her comments indicate she knows this isn't the "right" dress, but she wants it anyway. Keep your mouth shut and buy the dress.

[eb777888]

Oh, that's cute! If it's indoors then I'd definitely suck it up and do it. Plus, this is a dress you can wear again (you knew that was coming!)

I have found JCrew runs large but the sizing thing and it being non-refundable is most definitely an issue. Huge issue.

[wannabe]

Ohhhh. I'm extra sorry now. The dress isn't cute :/

[Deleted]

i would shut my mouth and thank my lucky stars that FOR ONCE someone picked a bridesmaids dress that actually could be worn again. that seersucker is lovely.

i have trouble with jcrew dresses fitting in the bodice part because my upper back is broad for a woman (swimming and rowing).  if you are not, it's likely tts, or may need a slight take in at the waist.


ETA:  and for $60?  damn.  just sell the penis chandelier.  you could buy like a thousand of these dresses!

[underwaterrhymes]

That dress is cute. I think for an indoor wedding you'll be fine.

[speckledfrog]

My flat chest would need a miracle to keep that up.

[Deleted]

At least it's grey seersucker? Think positive!

[Deleted]

It's a big issue that you can't return it if it's the wrong size. Ask her to contact the J.Crew wedding consultants and get their advice on sizing/returns. They may be able to make an exception for you. One of my bridesmaids lost a ton of weight before my wedding and J.Crew let her exchange the dress even though the return window had ended.

Or if you really don't want to wear it, then I'd just tell her that you aren't comfortable ordering online without the possibility of returning it. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that.

[noodleoo]

Ugh, that dress is horrible. It even looks terrible on the model! I have to say, I hate J Crew BMs dresses. I had to wear one for a wedding and the fit is terrible if you are larger than a size 6 or have a large chest. I found they run small. I ordered 2 sizes to figure out which one fit, even after trying some on in store.  Luckily I could just return the other one.   The sizing is definitely a legitimate issue. If you do have to get it, some stores carry some samples to try on. I think it tells you on the website which ones do (there was only 1 store in MA that did, so I drove there, luckily not too far). Good luck!

[lime]

Well, at least it is only 60$.

Do you have a J Crew were you could try on another dress, even if it isn't a formal, and have the CS help you pick the right size for this dress?

They can order if for you in store via the "red phone" thing that they have.

[Deleted]

Oh that dress is cute! With a skinny belt or a necklace you could totally wear it again.

[pantsparty]

I actually don't think the dress is bad, and it's not overly bridesmaidsy, so you COULD wear it again. The sizing would be a real issue, though.

[birdistheword]

I wouldn't say anything, but I'm a huge wimp. It is actually a cute dress though, and doesn't look really bridesmaidy, so if it were me I would suck it up and be excited that it was a dress I might be able to wear again.

ETA: I do agree about the sizing issue though. That's the real kicker, so in that case I might actually say something.