help me be a good friend

[cereal K]

my BFF's 10 year old daughter is in the hospital for something related to her kidneys. She's been in for four days on this latest stretch - no talk of going home until it's stabilized. 

i want to DO or SEND something for one or both of them. she has a husband and 7 year-old with special needs at home. i just feel helpless, as i'm sure she does, too. what can i doooooo?!

[TrickyBob]

Poor kiddo. I hope they find out what's wrong and can fix her.

[girlfriday11]

Dinners for the H and other child? I'm sure that would help a lot.

Eta: I hope she gets better soon.

[margotmacomber]

Age appropriate magazines/books/games.  Offer to help out with shifts either in the hospital or with the sibling.  Bring meals for the family.  

[cleo29]

Dinners for the H and maybe take a comfortable blanket or something cozy to the hospital for your friends and her daughter.

[nsl]

Jul 7, 2013 21:57:37 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Food, practical help with pets, yard work, lawn care, laundry, housework, the other kid.

This.  They may not need meals because that's the first thing a lot of people will think to do for them when they learn the situation, but stuff like laundry and vacuuming may not be covered at all.  I'd call her or her husband and ask what would really be helpful, possibly even specifically offering to come in and help with household chores.  

[hopecounts]

Things to occupy them while at the hospital (books/magazines/etc) maybe an amazon gift card so they can order something for them/the kid.
Provide help around the house.

[winelady]

Food for her at the hospital. Babysit for the one at home so dad can visit. Books.offer to water flowers at home, cut grass, get mail, laundry whatever. When ds was in the hospital for a week, dd got shifted around while dh had to go to work, my neighbor watered all my flowers and sil came and re-washed the clothes that got left in the washer. My other sil came every day with lunch for me so I didn't have to eat hospital food. Does the dd have a kindle/tablet? maybe an itunes/amazon card for movies or booksWhen we got home my mil brought dinner..

[bab]

-Make or bring over a meal for the dad and the son
-Bring mom a care pack for her time sitting at the hospital (magazines, coffee gift card, fresh fruit, slippers, nice lotion, neck pillow)
-Bring a small gift for the girl in the hospital (books, magazines, bead set ot jewelry making kit) maybe paint her nails or bring her some of those cool manicure "stickers" with the fun designs and give her a mani.

[bab]

Offer to go to the grocery store for them, or just go and bring staples for quick and easy meals

[winelady]

Jul 7, 2013 22:17:48 GMT -5 bab said:

-Make or bring over a meal for the dad and the son
-Bring mom a care pack for her time sitting at the hospital (magazines, coffee gift card, fresh fruit, slippers, nice lotion, neck pillow)
-Bring a small gift for the girl in the hospital (books, magazines, bead set ot jewelry making kit) maybe paint her nails or bring her some of those cool manicure "stickers" with the fun designs and give her a mani.

Omg yes! Good shampoo/lotion. Her brush and toiletries from home. 

[VillainV]

Make concrete, tangible offers, not open-ended ones. Instead of saying something like, "Let us know what we can do" or "we'd love to watch Sarah some time", do something like

- Let her know you are headed to the grocery store today and ask if you can pick anything up for them
- Tell them you're going to the Zoo/park/whatever tomorrow and invite their other child to come with you
(sometimes it seems to help if they know you were going to do these things anyway and aren't going out of your way to try to help them out)

- If you're close enough to feel comfortable, then just find something that needs to be done and do it....lawn overgrown or garden needs to be weeded? do it....