I will WANT them to come home. Hell, I even came back home regularly on weekends and for the holidays once I was working and living on my own, lol. I still had lots of friends in town and would come hang out.
I'd be happy to have them home - that's what I did. I lived on campus all 4 years and came home for summers/breaks. I did work and had an internship my last summer.
I worked as a beer cart girl at a golf course one summer. Good times.
Either way, they must be working full time, and preferably in their field. IMO, high school summers are for lifeguarding and waiting tables, college is for more career-minded preparation.
I waited tables the first summer. And it was pretty typical. Second summer I got an internship, but that was not the norm, not even half my class got one.
Either way, they must be working full time, and preferably in their field. IMO, high school summers are for lifeguarding and waiting tables, college is for more career-minded preparation.
i know that i'm not your kid, but this is so stressing me out. lol. i worked as a lifeguard and at the gym in the summer. i majored in english and art. my "field" was looking at pretty stuff and reading well-written stuff. i would've died trying to get a job in my parents' suburban DC town in my "field." plus, i HAD to earn $$ for school/spending money.
Lol. I didn't mean to invoke any fear. Obviously its just a preference...H and I both did extensive cooperative ed in college and we believe pretty strongly in career-related work, as opposed to 10 hr/week internships or retail or whatever. I just think summers are a good chance to get exposure to potential career tracks, even if its not related to your major. Different conversation for another day.
And its worth noting that you turned out just fine
Either way, they must be working full time, and preferably in their field. IMO, high school summers are for lifeguarding and waiting tables, college is for more career-minded preparation.
If they live on campus, moving home is fine with me. If they have an off campus apartment, that is also fine, but they must have taken care of an arrangement for subletting, or worked out a lease agreement or something. I'll be happy to assist with those arrangements, but I think its an important experience to take responsibility for the apartment year round, not just duirng the school year.
I think even this is harsh. I worked in the summers to save money for the school year. Internships paid nothing or next to nothing. I did a bunch of non career-minded jobs solely to make money. I still was able to get a decent job when I graduated and I am now a productive member of the workforce.
I think I am probably a lot more lenient on this than a lot of people. My mother used to beg me to come home even when I had an apartment. They also let me live at home rent free for over a year after school while I hemmed and hawed about moving/what I was going to do with life. They liked having me there and I was working, paying all of my other bills, and generally not being a drain on society.
I guess I personally think each kid is different some need a kick in the ass but not all do some just need time/patience to be in their early 20s and figure out life. I will want my child(ren) home for breaks and summer and to be able to have that last little bit of time together. If they are fucking up I hope I am strong enough to make them face the realities of life as an adult.
Either way, they must be working full time, and preferably in their field. IMO, high school summers are for lifeguarding and waiting tables, college is for more career-minded preparation.
If they live on campus, moving home is fine with me. If they have an off campus apartment, that is also fine, but they must have taken care of an arrangement for subletting, or worked out a lease agreement or something. I'll be happy to assist with those arrangements, but I think its an important experience to take responsibility for the apartment year round, not just duirng the school year.
I had a hard time finding a job "in my field" with a Masters Degree and 15 years of experience.
I don't have kids yet. But, I would expect them to come home on breaks (not in that they would have to, just that I would assume they would).
I worked part time through college. I lived at home (after the first year) and saved my money. After I graduated, I worked full time, lived at home and continued to save my money for a down payment on a house. So did my H. We were able to put 10% down on our first home. I am very thankful our parents allowed us to stay at home rent free while we saved, and would want to be able to help my future kids have this opportunity.
Of course, if my future kids just wanted to be a lazy bum and live at home, that would not fly.
My brother lived at home til he was 28 and as he got older didn't seem to have a real plan for moving out. My parents started charging him rent, saved what he paid them, then gave it back to him after he moved out, essentially forcing him to save up some money.
Yes I would like and hope they will come home for breaks/summer if they choose not to go summer session. Of course I'd encourage them to work or intern during the summer if they aren't taking classes but its not a big deal if they don't as long as they aren't expecting me to foot the bill for more than the standard stuff, I will provide X amount and beyond that they're on their own to budget accordingly.
Some of the people I've talked to *cough* on another board *cough* thought that a "more permanent living situation" needed to happen and they had a really hands off attitude like "you're on your own."
Are they parents of college age kids or is this hypothetical?
Some of the people I've talked to *cough* on another board *cough* thought that a "more permanent living situation" needed to happen and they had a really hands off attitude like "you're on your own."
I agree with you. My dorm closed during the summer and if you were there over the holidays, there was no cafeteria open so you had to live on microwavable meals lol.
Are they parents of college age kids or is this hypothetical?
No, mostly without kids, some with small children.
The one person I'm thinking of in particular said that its normal in her family to completely get the boot right after graduating high school. No more staying at the parents house.
Of course. Haven't we come to the point where we still see 22 year olds as "kids"? With the typical extended adolescence that most people experience now, it seems like you're still a kid until you're closer to like 26. lol
Post by sunshineluv on Jul 8, 2013 11:26:11 GMT -5
I hope they come back home.
But what's interesting to me is that almost everyone in this thread is confident their child will not only go to college, but also get summer jobs on their breaks. When you read the when did you move out thread, lots of people did not move out of their parents house to go to college.
But I still have hopes that all of my children will do exactly what I want them to :-).
I'll add this -- it was my responsibility to put X amount per year towards college. I could add it to my loans (we planned it so 1/3 was scholarships, 1/3 was loans, 1/3 was us) but it was best to do it in cash. I was cleaning out my safe and found the check carbon copies, lol. It was a realistic amount (I think $3K a year? basically 1 class) that my mom and I agreed to before I went to school.
So my summers and Christmas were spent working as much as I could. This was in addition to taking classes so I could graduate a year early (which I did!). It was absolutely a "where the best opportunity is" for my parents.
But what's interesting to me is that almost everyone in this thread is confident their child will not only go to college, but also get summer jobs on their breaks.
I encourage my kids to go to college, but I also understand that college isn't for everyone. DSS will be a senior this year and as zero desire to attend college. School has been a struggle for him until now and he is ready to be done.
His bio-mom and step dad don't encourage it, so I'm sure that is part of the problem. I'm hoping he will change his mind, but if not, he will definitely be expected to work.
Post by liveintheville on Jul 8, 2013 11:41:17 GMT -5
Eh. I'd be fine with them not coming back. I'd be fine with them visiting as well, though. I only went back for the summer after freshman year. That was it. Then I went back at Christmas each year and only then. I moved off campus the summer after sophomore year so there was no reason to leave. I worked during the summer and spring break. I'm glad my parents didn't force me to come home. I much preferred staying in Boston.
Going away to college and coming home for the summer was pretty standard where I went to school. I can't think of any friends who didn't do that the first year or two.
If they live in the dorms I would 100% expect them to come back on vacations. The dorms won't typically let people stay there over vacations unless you have a specific reason/exemption (like you're a foreign student on a study abroad thing). And the cafeterias are often closed. Kids got to eat, yo!
If they lived in an apartment, I wouldn't expect them to come home, but I would want them to! Especially over Christmas and a few times in the summer!