Shit, what can I do to help....

[kristie]

My BF/brothers girlfriend just had her dog of twelve years die. This has been her baby for so long, she got him after our apartment burned in college. He was getting older and sick and we have all been dreading this day because we knew it would destroy her. And now it is here.... I don't think there is anything I can do. I am like, get her candy and wine... No, that won't work.... Food.... No. I know nothing will make her feel better, but I have to do something...

[nsl]

I think a condolence card and maybe some flowers/something else thoughtful you know she'd like would be best. Nothing is going to make her feel a lot better, but it will definitely help her to know that people are grieving with her.

[FastHands]

When we lost our dog recently, a few friends chipped in and got flowers and it meant a lot to me. I was in a seriously shitty place for a solid month, and there really isn't anything you can do to make it better other than let her know you care. Offer to drink with her and to either talk about or NOT talk about the dog. It helped me a lot to talk about my dog and remember the good times, as cliche as that sounds. I would have appreciated the gesture behind an attempted distraction, but I wouldn't have been up for it. Everyone's different, of course.

[bugandbibs]

This just happened to us a few months ago. It was tough. I still get a little weepy when I see another Pyr.

I think a heartfelt note would be nice. Then offer to take her for a pedicure or to the movies. Something to get her out of the house.

[kirra]

It's really hard. We had to put my dog down in January, and it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. I don't think there was anything that would have made me feel better.

It's the hardest thing about being a pet owner. They just don't live long enough.

[Moe]

Seriously, just be there for her.

When Sofia died some people sent me cards and flowers and they meant the world.

Some people just sent texts and emails and they meant the world to me.

The validation that her dog existed and that she's missed is such a powerful statement.

I still get condolences messages from friends, and when they tell me how they knew that Sofia was special, it makes me feel that they knew how important she was to me. I don't know why that matters, but it's such a strong source of support.

I kept all the cards she got and they sit right next to her urn. I honestly felt all the love that this wonderful dog gave me through the people that cared enough to send those sentiments.

[Deleted]

It's not 'just a dog' it was a family member, so do what you would do in that situation. I appreciated it so much when people acknowledged I had suffered a significant loss and allowed me to grieve. Wine, stories and pictures while crying for me.

Later DH gave me a collage of her best photos and an ornament for our tree with her picture in it so shes always part of Christmas (I got her just before)

[snickers]

I would go along the lines of wine, candy, or movie passes or something.
Such a sad situation for anyone

[revolution]

card and a bottle of wine.

my dog was 12 when she passed away last year. I was a mess. I had that dog longer than my DH. I appreciated the cards and texts from friends. DH and DD got me flowers. I got myself wine.

[texassmith]

There is a cookie delivery place here that I like to use when people are going through something rough. They deliver them straight out of the oven and you can choose to send ice cream or frozen coffee with them. Maybe try to find something like that? Of course nothing will make her feel totally better, but damn if shoveling cookies down her gullet won't be comforting.

[RoxMonster]

Being there for her and letting her grieve as long as she needs to is the best thing, I think.

There is a kind of stigma out there (in society in general) IMO that you shouldn't grieve for lost pets for a long time. Like if three weeks later you are still having a hard time and are sad, you are weird. But pets are a huge part of a family and can be just as difficult as a human loss, so if a friend of mine understood that and was willing to just listen or be a shoulder to cry on, no matter how long after the dog died, that would be really helpful.

I also think the "escapism" gift could be good when the time is right. Take her to a movie, take her to the spa, go shopping together, etc. Something to try to put fun in her day and get her mind elsewhere.

[adhdfashion]

When my doggy passed my husband kept my house full of wine and chocolate for a month. My Mom kept taking me out places to distract me. I didn't want to talk about it. So they let me.

Sent from my SCH-S720C using proboards

[tdk2]

I think any of those things are awesome to let her know you know how much he meant to her. 

i know I will be a mess.

and Moe, I'm so sorry. I should have sent you more messages.  I had quite a few tears for you though, and still think of Sofia.
It still makes me laugh that i may have met her back in WI before you and I even knew ea other b/c I do remember a dog by her description visiting the candle c and her dog there.

[LeggsBenedict]

H got me a flowering plant when my cat died last month, and then we went out and picked up a nice pot to plant it in.

[hopecounts]

While wine/card/flowers may not help they'll help her know that you appreciate what a big deal this is and what a hard time this is for her validating for her that it's OK to feel like this is a really crappy thing to have happen and she gets to be really sad about it.
Which is the best thing you can do for her along with offering her your support and an ear if she wants to talk/cry.

[pedanticwench]

Sending a card with your condolences would probably be the best thing right now.

[ginger]

Is her name Amanda per chance?

Send a card. It really is the little things that mean the most.

[kristie]

No, not Amanda.... I am getting a card, bottle of wine, and her favorite candy and going to leave it on her front porch tonight. I am sure she doesn't want to see anyone. I will tell me brother it is there after I leave.