I'm with Sparky on this one. "Oh, Christmas? No, I'm afraid we've made other plans. Until you can treat all of our children equally, you can't see any of them because it's too emotionally draining for them. Sure, feel free to send unwrapped gifts...if they're not of equal value for all of the kids, we'll be donating them to charity. See you when you're not assholes!!"
Post by messykitchen on Jul 8, 2013 18:19:27 GMT -5
My father used to be like this, except it was my son he favored over his granddaughter and step-grandson (is that the right term? My brother married a woman with a child) my brothers did nothing about it but it pissed me off, so I spoke up. My brothers kind of suck but there's no reason to punish the kids for it. Thankfully my dad realized I was right and corrected his behavior. Playing favorites with kids is so damaging, I was the favorite kid too and it turned me into a nasty little spoiled brat. It took me a long time to realize I was like everybody else, and that's a shit attitude to go through life with.
honestly, it sounds like they are shitty people and don't deserve to have a relationship with the kids. They are doing more damage than good in the way they are favoring certain kids and telling them that they are better than the other kids. That's not okay. Surround your kids with good people, these people aren't it.
Getting your SD to sneak out of the house is outrageous. She is terrible influence and I'm glad you and your DH told her to get out. Showing favoritism is hurtful and good for you sticking up for your children! Your Christmas will be wonderful since they won't be around to ruin it.
I'm with Sparky on this one. "Oh, Christmas? No, I'm afraid we've made other plans. Until you can treat all of our children equally, you can't see any of them because it's too emotionally draining for them. Sure, feel free to send unwrapped gifts...if they're not of equal value for all of the kids, we'll be donating them to charity. See you when you're not assholes!!"
I love you, like all the time. "See you when you're not assholes!" is going to become my new phrase.
I'm with Sparky on this one. "Oh, Christmas? No, I'm afraid we've made other plans. Until you can treat all of our children equally, you can't see any of them because it's too emotionally draining for them. Sure, feel free to send unwrapped gifts...if they're not of equal value for all of the kids, we'll be donating them to charity. See you when you're not assholes!!"
I may try to work this phrase into several different conversations. (heart)
Whelp, I'd be limiting Skids access to the gparents when the Skids are in town. Any chance your husband and his ex are on good enough terms to coparent the crap out of the SD on this one?
I don't think her mom would see anything wrong with it.
I don't think her mom would see anything wrong with it.
The sneaking out of the house part?
She was sneaking out to Grandma's car. I don't think her mom would see anything wrong with that. Also SD is now claiming she "forgot" to say good-bye. Her mom would totally buy that excuse. She also thinks that SD walks on water.
Yeah, this is when I start burning shit down. You handled it exactly right. And I'd make Sd's life hell till she leaves. `
yep! You can bet I would be punishing sd for lieing and hurting their sibling like that. Not cool all around. Ex mil calls dd her princess (her dad is the Fave of the 5 boys) and it grates on me bad. There are about 18 grand kids. She seems to treat them all the same but I can't imagine how the other girls feel when she calls mine the princess, especially since she is by far not the oldest grand daughter. I think it may also have to do with dd's middle name. She always wanted a girl with a specific name and that name is dd's middle name. Guess bad on our part but we were wanting to make her name somewhat special. I hate when grand parents act like this. It teaches the kids the wrong message. Luckily dd really doesn't want much to do with any of that family besides her cousins and a few aunts (who also got out of that family and I am still super close to). It's bad when even a kid knows that it isn't right to treat them all like that.
You handled yourself like a champ! She left unharmed physically so I'd call it a win.
This isn't normal or okay on so many levels. Your MIL is an ass but your SD is something else. She knew exactly what she was doing and showed zero remorse. Not okay.
I get that SD is about to work soon but if I was in this situation she would be spending the rest of her time volunteering at an animal shelter. She obviously needs to learn compassion and empathy.
My grandparents always favored my cousins and it was super annoying. I was hurt that my parents never stood up for us. Good for you for protecting your kids from that!!