I don't think I can read this post anymore. The fact that you are going to respond is giving me palpatations.
But what if she did it on purpose? I just don't know if I can ignore this, even if it is just a quick "i hope you know i love you" email.
I feel so sad for this woman. I'd be concerned if she later realized her mistake and, if you didn't respond, that she'd think it was one more thing to be ashamed of.
I feel sad for your friend. I've had some of the same feelings.
But I think this is interesting since you've made fun of people's weight before on here.
I don't remember this. Could be though.
Also here=/= real life
I'm sad for your friend and I think you should reply. Even a quick, "I'm here for you," type of response.
I also cannot figure out how you can be so compassionate to your friends, and so not to people on here. I get that this isn't "real life" but the people that post here are real people with real lives. I wish you understood that.
If this happened to me, I would respond that she sent this to me and I am there if she needs me, but if it was an accident I will pretend I never saw it and we will never speak of it again. I think my friends know that my word is good for both of those things.
I could have written this before my weight loss surgery journey.Â
I want to hug her. Â (hug) (hug2)
I'm glad you don't feel like that anymore.
Ditto lilafowler, I had the surgery too, but I have a lot of complications too. So my journey was different. To the poor OP's friend, I'd send it back with what others said.
I'm sad for your friend and I think you should reply. Even a quick, "I'm here for you," type of response.
I also cannot figure out how you can be so compassionate to your friends, and so not to people on here. I get that this isn't "real life" but the people that post here are real people with real lives. I wish you understood that.
I can have compassion here. I often hold my tongue if someone is having a hard time, even if I think they brought it on themselves. *shrug*
Oh man. I wouldn't know what to do either. But hey, if somehow you find out she did it on purpose, maybe you could make her a list of all the things you love about her, and have that be the response? I guess I'd ignore if I thought it was a mistake, though.
This is so sad I have been able to relate to many of those at different points in my life.
My guess it was a mistake. I think replying "Did you mean to send this to me?" along with something like, "I'm always here for you and I love you," might be good since she is a close friend.
ETA: While, if it was truly a mistake, she might be glad you didn't respond, I just couldn't take that chance with a close friend. What if it was on purpose? What if it was on purpose and made to look like an accident? I would feel so horrible if she had been reaching out to me, and I just ignored it and acted like it never happened.
I think you should respond and just be supportive. Can you make a list of all of the things you love about her or things she's good at? Is that a dumb idea?
Post by speckledfrog on Jul 9, 2013 21:00:18 GMT -5
I understand what you are saying. I'm sure it's just personal preference. I would have an easier time pretending it never happened if you also pretended it never happened and then I would not have to feel like dying every time I thought about it or saw you. You know your friend best.
If this happened to me, I would respond that she sent this to me and I am there if she needs me, but if it was an accident I will pretend I never saw it and we will never speak of it again. I think my friends know that my word is good for both of those things.
This is what I would do also. She may even realize at this point that she sent it and could be freaking out about what you're thinking. I would let her know that you received the email and don't know if it was intentionally sent but that you're there for her if she wants to talk, walk, or whatever, or that if she wants you forget the whole thing.
I understand what you are saying. I'm sure it's just personal preference. I would have an easier time pretending it never happened if you also pretended it never happened and then I would not have to feel like dying every time I thought about it or saw you. You know your friend best.
I see your point, but this is not a bell you can un-ring. A simple "I'm here for you, and I'm sorry you feel this way" is all that is needed here. The ball is in the friends court after that.
I agree with pps that a simple "I am here if you need me to be" might be best. My heart hurts for your friend and I sincerely hope she won't feel embarressed by all this. Even if it was on accident, maybe just the reassurance would be nice for her?
IF you send something back, don't attach the original email/list. If she sent it accidentally, and didn't know, it would be nice to get an "I love you/I'm here for you" email.
I understand what you are saying. I'm sure it's just personal preference. I would have an easier time pretending it never happened if you also pretended it never happened and then I would not have to feel like dying every time I thought about it or saw you. You know your friend best.
I see your point, but this is not a bell you can un-ring. A simple "I'm here for you, and I'm sorry you feel this way" is all that is needed here. The ball is in the friends court after that.
I was just explaining why I felt the way I did. As I mentioned, I understand why people are saying TOTS should respond to her.
Post by thinkofthesoldiers on Jul 9, 2013 21:08:43 GMT -5
Ok, I just wrote back, "I'm not sure if you meant to send me your previous email, but I hope you know how awesome you are and how much I love you. Please know I'm here if you need me."
ETA I'll leave OP up for a bit so the looky-loos can get their fill. I hate when people delete even personal stuff too quickly.
I see your point, but this is not a bell you can un-ring. A simple "I'm here for you, and I'm sorry you feel this way" is all that is needed here. The ball is in the friends court after that.
I was just explaining why I felt the way I did. As I mentioned, I understand why people are saying TOTS should respond to her.
I think you should respond and just be supportive. Can you make a list of all of the things you love about her or things she's good at? Is that a dumb idea?
hugs to your friend.
This is as far as I've gotten so far so I don't know if anyone else agrees too, but my first thought would be to reply with my own list of things I love about her and stuff she is good at, what makes her a wonderful person, friend, mom, etc.
I would not just not reply. You saw this; whether she meant you to or not.
I'd tell her she's beautiful, inside and out; and that she's entitled to every cubic inch she occupies, and you will fight anyone who thinks otherwise even her. ((hugs)) you're a good friend.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny