?'s for those who have gone through "rough patches"

[ooglie26]

H and are just coming out of a rough patch.  Hugs to you, and everyone who is going through them.

1. What "caused" your rough patch?
My need to control all things related to money.  (I'm a planner and a saver, he's a spender.)
We handle confrontation/stress differently.


2. How did you address it?  
We had several frank discussions about finances, and how tight things were, what 'extras' needed to be cancelled, etc.
We've also been working on communicating better, and listening to each other instead of just talking 'at' each other. 


3. Has it occurred multiple times?
Yes, a couple of times. 

[nursewife]

I think everyone goes through rough patches. Right now I feel like I'm in one although H seems to be fine. I think the biggest help for me us having him gone for a few days. I've really realized how much that stress has affected me, and a little time away has been great for me. I know the issues are things I need to work on myself as well. Getting exercise and being happy with myself is one of the biggest things I need to work on to get through rough spots. Hope it gets better for you.

[simplyinpenguin]

I know I've been through enough "rough patches" with H. Primarily it's caused by having his head up his ass the majority of the time. He expects me to be his mother outside the bedroom and a hooker in the bedroom and that just doesn't fly with me.

I've addressed it numerous times (also answering #3). It's either "I'll try harder" or it sails over his head and he attacks me, saying I'm always ungrateful. Then he apologizes with an attack that if we had more sex more often, he wouldn't have to tell it "like it is".

At this point though, I know I'm done. I treat him politely and nice, but I don't go out of my way to do anything for him. I'm just biding my time until I'm out of this fuckery.

Sometimes when rough patches are the same things that keep coming up over and over, perhaps it's not just a rough patch but rather a glimpse to the fact that particular issue won't change, no matter how much it's discussed, counseled, or seemingly solved. At that point, you just need to decide what's best for you and your family. It is so important that you need to take drastic measures? Or is it one of those "yeah it's annoying, but is this a hill to die on?"