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[kermit]

I'm assuming since it's a small company there's no HR? I think the owner/CEO needs to know about this. It's not okay for this guy to think he doesn't need to take you seriously. F&ck his ego. If he keeps this up the company will suffer, and if I were the owner I'd want to know about it.

[Yankees21]

I would try to speak to his boss- it is ridiculous that is telling others to ignore you, and it sounds like you have already tried to have a conversation with him about it.

[ECB]

Yes, talk to the owner. How much of this is documented (i.e. in emails)? Take whatever you have.

[Deleted]

How do you communicate changes with him and the freelancers now? You might try drafting an "official" form that spells out precisely what changes need to be made, then distribute this to the freelancers and the new manager. That way there's absolutely no "forgetting" instructions.

You may need to involve someone above you. Maybe you could hold a meeting that focuses on how to develop better ways of communicating changes to freelancers. If you present a united front with the people who CAN fire him, then that may finally get it across that he's the problem here. The cultural mindset of men being superior to women is incredibly difficult to change, but you shouldn't have to put up with this.

[ECB]

Jul 11, 2013 13:53:14 GMT -5 @pjfranklin said:

 The cultural mindset of men being superior to women is incredibly difficult to change, but you shouldn't have to put up with this.

I also feel that this should be on HIM.  When applying and interviewing for jobs, if he has a problem taking direction from a woman, then he needs to ask "what is the reporting structure?  Who will I be reporting to? (no matter how loose that might be)" and if it's to a woman and he knows he'll have a problem with it- then HE needs to take that into consideration before accepting a job. 

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2013 14:04:51 GMT -5 specialk said:

Jul 11, 2013 13:53:14 GMT -5 @pjfranklin said:

How do you communicate changes with him and the freelancers now? You might try drafting an "official" form that spells out precisely what changes need to be made, then distribute this to the freelancers and the new manager. That way there's absolutely no "forgetting" instructions.

You may need to involve someone above you. Maybe you could hold a meeting that focuses on how to develop better ways of communicating changes to freelancers. If you present a united front with the people who CAN fire him, then that may finally get it across that he's the problem here. The cultural mindset of men being superior to women is incredibly difficult to change, but you shouldn't have to put up with this.

This is a great idea, thanks. I have a great working relationship with my freelancers, so have always done things informally. I am either sending my ideas to him first out of respect for his position if it is something that needs to be discussed or may have more than one solution, or sending an email to the freelancer and CCing him now. I think a form could cut down on a lot of those issues and will talk to my boss about implementing that.

Unfortunately, there is only one person above me and he is not much help. He is hardly present at all and leaves me to run things in his absence, so I think this will fall on me. 

It has only been about two weeks, but if I get the sense that he is just not willing to work with me then I will demand a sit down meeting with the boss and HR.

I understand wanting to bring others in as a last resort. The form will help protect you by creating a paper trail should the need arise in the future. I was involved in a similar cultural clash, but very different industry. He placed all of the blame on me because, of course, I had to be the one in the wrote. I'm a girl, after all. Ugh, what a crappy situation.

[snickers]

Jul 11, 2013 13:47:45 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

I would try to speak to his boss- it is ridiculous that is telling others to ignore you, and it sounds like you have already tried to have a conversation with him about it.

This was my first thought exactly.
Sorry this is happening, you must be incredibly frustrated.

[ECB]

Jul 11, 2013 14:02:02 GMT -5 specialk said:

I have spoken with the owner about this and showed him the emails in question. He says he will talk to him about it, but knowing him he probably never will. He confessed that he has been having a lot of communication problems with him as well and that he is frustrated, too. He suspects that this person is also aggravated and may end up quitting, but I don't want to wait for that to happen and want to improve the situation now. Unfortunately, I think that the boss won't be much help and I will have to sort this out on my own. We do have one HR person I could talk to if things got REALLY bad but that would be a last resort for me as I feel that he would not take that step well.

He did not answer my email from yesterday.

O.k. - if the owner won't actually talk to this guy, will he at least back you up in whatever you feel you need to do?  Creating a form, or if you have to be more blunt w/ this guy yourself?  Will your boss have your back? 

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2013 14:27:11 GMT -5 specialk said:

Jul 11, 2013 14:22:29 GMT -5 @pjfranklin said:

I understand wanting to bring others in as a last resort. The form will help protect you by creating a paper trail should the need arise in the future. I was involved in a similar cultural clash, but very different industry. He placed all of the blame on me because, of course, I had to be the one in the wrote. I'm a girl, after all. Ugh, what a crappy situation.

Yes, it is very frustrating. How did that work out for you, if you don't mind me asking? Did you figure out a way to work together successfully?

This is the first time I have had to deal with this. One thing I love about my company is that it doesn't matter how old you are, what experience level you are at, what level in the company you are working in.... people are respected and move up if they are hard working and innovative. Granted, most of our employees have been young until very recently which might have something to do with it.  He is the only one who really doesn't seem to fit in with that mindset.

I'm in higher ed and it was a student. I started putting everything in writing, even summaries of in person conversations, and eventually started CC'ing my supervisor on all of our communication. He was transferred out of my supervision, so I don't know what happened after that due to student privacy laws. It was a mixture of language and cultural barriers. I felt there was a high probability of having a complaint filed, which is why I documented everything to the greatest extent possible.

[ECB]

Jul 11, 2013 14:37:53 GMT -5 specialk said:

Yes, my boss should have my back,at least about the form.

Ugh, same manager just emailed me. He sent me a design he worked on, I asked for a few small changes. He sent it back to me with two different options- the one as he originally styled it, and the one with my changes. I thanked him and said nice work, I will be going with option B (the one with my edits) and to please send me the file to send to the factory.

He responds this way:

Design B is acceptable but monotonous compare to the infuser.
the A is better.
Thanks,
XXXX

and copies my boss. Does not send me the file I asked for. We had already discussed that I did not like option A as much, and why. He is obviously holding my artwork hostage and trying to get my boss to override my decision.

Annoying and childish.

"Thanks for your feedback.  However, we're going with B.  Please send me the file.  Thanks".  and keep your boss cc'd. 

[ECB]

Good luck.