Advice needed please...

[missbetty1]

I'm so conflicted with this new guy...I'm literally like "where did he come from?" He calls me when he says he will, he showed up at the festival and met up with me last weekend like he said he would, we have great conversations, like he is on my level intellectually, he's tall, physically active, good looking, great smile we laugh all the time...uggh and yesterday he asked me out on a date to a Mexican spot...I didn't even tell him I like Mexican (I love Mexican food). I am suppose to be taking a break from men . I know I've just met him so I keep waiting for him to say something " off" or "out of place" and it hasn't happened yet...

I read all of the book "Getting Past Your Break Up" and I completed the Relationship Inventory and wrote the letter to my ex (that I don't send) and then journaled...now I just need to read it to someone and then burn it (yup that's in the book)

I'm scared that on the date I'm going to kiss him..although it's not our first time going out, it's the first "date" and I've never kissed a guy on the first date...

Please can you guys give me some advice...I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for because I feel like my post is all over the place...but you guys haven't let me down so far lol...

[liubotflittyfud]

I don't know if I'm the best to give you advice but I will try. I've learned a lot in my journey and I feel like I am much more mentally sound these days lol.

Either A. You should stick to your guns and say no to dating if you don't feel that you are ready. Maybe tell Mr. Perfect this and let him know your stance. You could maybe start out as friends and tell him you are taking everything one day at a time...

Or:

B: You go out with him and see where it goes, but take your time. If you don't want to kiss him, don't kiss him. You do, then do. You are the only one accountable for your actions. If you want to make choices for yourself and stick to them, you are the only one that can do that. Be strong. Do what you feel is right, it's the only way we learn. Sometimes, though things happen in the oddest ways. Enjoy your life but be aware of your surroundings and actions. Don't get sucked in if you're not ready. Baby steps.

Good luck! Sorry if my advice was a little wonky. I'm just taking my life day by day at this point and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

[doriswe]

Jun 15, 2012 10:12:27 GMT -5 calle28 said:

i think you should relax and go with the flow. have fun!

Yup, this!!

[Deleted]

Do what feels right to you. There are no rules. If you dont feel comfortable kissing him on your first date and he tries...simply say...i dont kiss on first date. If you have the urge to do it...go for it!

Stop worrying about it and relax!

[dakotadangerdog]

Why is it that you are "off" dating right now?

[ECB]

Dont' base all your life decisions on a book!

I'm a firm believer in "when you aren't looking, it will happen". You aren't looking, you're actually making a very concerted effort not too and to better yourself. You're very aware of where you're at- etc.

And I believe that men are attracted to women who are confident and who don't come across as "needing" a man.

I agree- relax and go w/ the flow.

[missbetty1]

Jun 15, 2012 10:22:41 GMT -5 dakotadangerdog said:

Why is it that you are "off" dating right now?

I just thought it would be best that I genuinely be happy and healthy emotionally before I started dating again...which I do feel but ummmm I guess you have a point!

[missbetty1]

Jun 15, 2012 10:14:52 GMT -5 mags said:

Do what feels right to you. There are no rules. If you dont feel comfortable kissing him on your first date and he tries...simply say...i dont kiss on first date. If you have the urge to do it...go for it!

Stop worrying about it and relax!

I've never felt the urge to kiss anyone on the first date but with him I want to kiss him already...which is crazy for me.

I'm going to relax...

[chrissie3416]

I was in the same boat. My advice would be to go with the flow and follow your gut. Do what your comfortable with....

[achase123]

Just go with it and see what happens. Have fun on the date!