Moms of 2

[meganew]

Tell me how hard it is to manage two kids.

H brought up starting to put a plan in place to try for a second. Ollie is almost 2 and we will need a bigger house, hence the planning. I was originally thinking we wouldn't start trying until next year at this time, but now that I know he's thinking about it and wants another, my uterus is all fluttery and excited and I'm starting to think, "Hey. Maybe having a newborn and a toddler in a 650 sq ft house with no yard or parking and no dishwasher wouldn't be too bad..."

Someone slap me. Because crying infants are making me melt again. And I was a little sad when I got my last period when I thought I could be pregnant.

[cleo29]

For us, it was a rougher transition than when we had C. But, K had health issues that C never did which made her a fussier baby, so I know that that added to things being tougher. I had planned to have them three years apart, but the 26 months apart is working out nicely.

We moved before we had our next because I knew our old place would have been too small and it would have driven me crazy. So we bought our place in December of 2010 and the following December we had K, a good year earlier than I thought it would happen. lol

[revolution]

It's a zoo. It's a crazy, fun, non-stop exhausting zoo and completely worth it.

Mine are 4 years apart, so it was helpful when I had a newborn that DD was potty trained and could get her own drinks and snacks and bring them to me to open for her. And she could dress herself.

This: Hey. Maybe having a newborn and a toddler in a 650 sq ft house with no yard or parking and no dishwasher wouldn't be too bad..."  Does make me want to tell you to get off of the crazy train and lock that uterus up.

[Deleted]

Take your kid difficulty level now and multiply it by four.

I'm not exaggerating.

[meganew]

See- this is what I'm afraid of. I feel like with Ollie, we still have a life. We go out with him, take him everywhere, have people over, etc. I'm afraid with two that we'll be done.

Keep it coming!

[iamgrace]

It's getting easier.

I have accepted that my life will be frustrating for a while and I can't give my all to one kid all the time as much as I want to. I am sad sometimes that it isn't just the three of us anymore, and at times i feel very separate from H and Henry because Clare takes up so much of my energy, but I'm slowly getting over that. Those are feelings I never expected to have.

Overall, it's okay and getting better by the day.

[Captain Serious]

No dish washer? Fugetabout it and wait! There are endless dishes and laundry with my two. I can't even imagine if you added in bottles and baby wash.

[pinkeggs]

Two kids is about 200x the work of one when they are little. BUT! Mine are 4.5 & 3 now, and it would be more work for me now if I only had one. They play together and entertain each other all day long. Built-in playmate. I have no idea what I would do with one expecting me to entertain her all day.

[meganew]

Jul 18, 2013 13:39:50 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

Take your kid difficulty level now and multiply it by four.

I'm not exaggerating.

This is working. Ollie is easy, honestly. But we're just getting into real toddler behaviors and eeeesh. Times 4, eh?

[papie]

Fun chaos. Sometimes really unfun chaos, lol

[iamgrace]

Oh yeah, expect non stop laundry and cleaning all day. It never ends. Ever. Never.

[Deleted]

It's not that bad. Lol.


I'm no help.

[meganew]

Jul 18, 2013 13:45:06 GMT -5 @ygmg said:

It's not that bad. Lol.


I'm no help.

GET OUT OF HERE!!! Lol.

[polka]

My older daughter has always been an easy, happy, no-nonsense baby/kid. My younger one was a high maintenance, needy, fussy, stubborn diva in a baby's body right from the start. Also, my first always slept through the night. My second is over 2 years old and still doesn't always sleep through the night.

So yeah, when the second came along, she made things a leeetle more difficult. Lol

[Alyssa]

I have a 3.5 year old and a 16 month old. It's a lot of running around. I feel like I'm going until at least 10pm every night with cleaning up and doing laundry but in the end I love having 2 little ones.

[KKD]

I found the transition from one to two easier than I expected, which I attribute to the fact that (most) newborns sleep so much in the beginning which allows you to ease into it.

It definitely has its good and bad moments, but the good most certainly outweigh the bad. Sometimes, when they're fighting over toys AGAIN, I want to lock myself in my room and leave them to fend for themselves, but at the same time I can't say enough how much I enjoy watching them play together as well as help and console each other. At soccer camp this morning, Kate scored a goal and immediately ran over to Emily for a hug. Melts my heart.

(I still have trouble getting us all ready and out the door on time, which will surely only get easier with another baby AND the girls in two different schools, right?!)

[CurlyQ284]

I have one of my own (8 months) and also my two SDs who are 10 and 12. Plus my husband so 4 children total.

Its exhausting work with no peace and quiet. I think if my DH was helpful it wouldn't be so bad. Then again, I'm still seething because I left work to take SDs home from day camp and he didn't take them because they didn't feel well but neglected to tell me so I wasted time at work and have to stay later to account for my 30 minute joyride. I'm still pissed off and it might be interfering with my opinion.

Plus the sibling arguments... I think I might get on the interstate and just keep driving.

[cuddlyevil]

It does get easier as they get older. But when they're all under 3 is fucking sucks.

[calledout]

I thought going from 1 to 2 was waaaay easier than 0 to 1.

[revolution]

Jul 18, 2013 13:43:10 GMT -5 pinkeggs said:

Two kids is about 200x the work of one when they are little. BUT! Mine are 4.5 & 3 now, and it would be more work for me now if I only had one. They play together and entertain each other all day long. Built-in playmate. I have no idea what I would do with one expecting me to entertain her all day.

This is very true.  My kids are starting to actually play together and it is so nice on so many levels.  I love watching them play together and laugh.  I love watching the hug.  For the first time last week they went outside together and I stayed in the house doing dishes and watching them from the kitchen and it was heaven.  

[Alyssa]

We had a little acting out when we first brought the second one home from the hospital. It's good to have friends or family take the first child out and do some fun things. At 2.5 my daughter was still too young to really voice her frustration with losing some of the attention.

It's also different with having a newborn and a toddler because when it was just one baby, you could take it easy when they were napping. When you have a toddler who decides that naps are overrated the same week that you have #2....suddenly there is no down time and you can find yourself running around like a nut. It really helps to have people come over to lend a hand.

[Deleted]

[litebright]

I thought it was so much harder to go from one to two than none to one. My girls are 27 months apart, and pp hit on a lot of the reasons -- they both gave up naps early, so there was no "sleep while the baby sleeps" because DD1 was always.awake; I felt like all I did, all day, was feed kids and change diapers and clean up meals and then feed kids again.

And the times when I had two crying/screaming kids was the worst. It's inevitable, and so frustrating to have to pick someone who got comfort/needs filled first, and someone else was still screaming and jarring my nerves so that I felt like I wasn't doing anything right even though I was doing the best I could.

DD2 got the shaft in some days b/c DD1 had activities and therapies that she got dragged along to willy-nilly, with complete disregard for naps. She rolled with it, luckily, but I still felt guilty that it was rare that her schedule took priority, whereas my whole day pretty much revolved around DD1's schedule as an infant.

I felt like I knew what I needed to know in terms of babycare and BFing, that was good. But things like grocery shopping, running errands, going anywhere took, I kid you not, THREE times as long as with one toddler. Having no parking would be a huge disadvantage there as well, it sometimes took 3-4 trips before I had everything and everyone in or out of the car.

It's great now that DD2 is three, PT'd, and has been STTN for about a year (except for nightmares and wet diapers and sickness and when the batteries on her fish soother are running out and when she can't find her toy of choice that is lost in the covers), but I have no desire whatsoever to ever, ever have another newborn.

LOL. Not that I would've stopped at one, though. It's a tough phase. You get through it. But a bit more space between siblings and a living situation that makes your life easier rather than harder is worth waiting a little bit for, IMO.

[Deleted]

I have no idea about the transition from 1 to 2 kids, but I love that they have a playmate. Sure, it means some days I spend my time playing referee all day, but most of the time it's really awesome.

[Deleted]

Jul 18, 2013 14:13:16 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Jul 18, 2013 14:11:35 GMT -5 cville said:

This is what I am thinking as I am sitting here wondering if my eggo is preggo.

right?  and i wanted this so very badly.

i'm going and rereading lazerus's post from the randoms thread like 6 more times so i don't end up rocking myself in a corner.

[Deleted]

Y'all should have just had twins.

NO TRANSITION other than a straight-from-hell first 7 weeks.

[lulu13]

Mine are 17 months apart and are almost 10 and 8 years old now. It sucked the first few years. I was always tired, my toddler was a "runner" so she constantly stressed me out, my DS was a whiner/non napper so I had a spazzy/defiant toddler and a baby who stayed awake allllllllllllllllllll day long. Honestly I still get shivers thinking back to those first few years. However, now it is awesome. They have friends, school, sports etc. so it's not just me being a one woman circus all the time. Right now DS is at camp and DD is at her friends house swimming. Soooo much easier as they get older. I assume until the teenage years then I'll be back to hiding in the corner.

[lolly]

Jul 18, 2013 14:21:08 GMT -5 ninjabridemom said:

Y'all should have just had twins.

NO TRANSITION other than a straight-from-hell first 7 weeks.

Truth.

[CrazyLucky]

It is really hard at first. Really hard. Right now DS is 3 and DD is 1, and it's a lot better than when DD was a newborn. I am so looking forward to the days when they are semi-independent (can do things like get their own bowl of cereal instead of waking me up at 6:15 on saturday to do it.)

[polka]

Jul 18, 2013 14:15:33 GMT -5 cville said:

Jul 18, 2013 14:13:16 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

This is what I am thinking as I am sitting here wondering if my eggo is preggo.

right?  and i wanted this so very badly.

i'm going and rereading lazerus's post from the randoms thread like 6 more times so i don't end up rocking myself in a corner.

No no no.  Megachoo asked to tell her how hard it was.  That's why there are those replies in here.  If asked how wonderful it is, I'm sure everyone's replies would be 10x longer.

Here:
My girls are the sweetest together and are best friends, even when they get on each other's nerves.
You will have two kids to compliment you when you are having a crappy day.
Double the kisses and hugs and snuggles.
Right when you're missing the feeling of a tiny, chubby hand holding yours, you get another little one to hold.
Two people who will think you are the best thing that ever walked the earth and who want to be just like you when they grow up.
You'll get mom sandwiched!  
There's nothing like having that amazing feeling you felt for the first, overwhelm you for the second time.
And seriously, it's awesome.  It really is
The list goes on and on...

eta: oh, and I will add that it's pretty incredible seeing your oldest teaching your baby things that you had taught her when you thought she wasn't paying attention!