Drunk and Sad

[hopecounts]

((Hugs))

[girlfriday11]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[roadstar]

((hugs))

[daisybuchannan]

I felt sad for a while, I'm sorry to say. I had subsequent infertility that was very hard to get through (emotionally) but found a doctor that gave me a lot of hope, and ultimately, an amazing son.

Hugs to you.

[polka]

I am very sorry for your loss

[bananapancakes]

(((specialk))) My D&C was April 25th and the first month or so was really, really hard. I still get sad every now and then but I haven't cried in awhile. It doesn't help that my SIL is pregnant and due a week before what would have been my due date. It is sometimes difficult to be around her because I keep seeing her body change and think that mine should also be changing. Seeing her ultrasound pics is tough too.

We're trying again and I'm feeling really optimistic about the whole thing now. I'm in a better place now but it took awhile to get there.

Be kind to yourself. What you are going through is so, so, so, hard. A million hugs to you!

[bananapancakes]

Jul 18, 2013 21:29:05 GMT -5 specialk said:

Thanks. I feel like I hardly post, and when I do it's about this. I don't want to be that person. I am just having a harder time than I thought I would.

Do not feel evenly slightly guilty for posting. It helps to talk it out with people who have been there. Unfortunately, many people on this board have been through the same thing. I was so touched when so many reached out to me. Let us do this for you. So many hugs and hair pets! Oh, and Blizzards helped me a lot. Send your H out to get you a Blizzard!

[eb777888]

I'm so sorry

[margotmacomber]

(hug) (hug2)

[daisybuchannan]

Jul 18, 2013 21:36:23 GMT -5 specialk said:

Jul 18, 2013 21:27:20 GMT -5 daisybuchannan said:

 I
I felt sad for a whiwhile, I'm sorry to say. I had subsequent infertility that was very hard to get through (emotionally) but found a doctor that gave me a lot of hope, and ultimately, an amazing son.

Hugs to you.

Thank you. I am glad to hear you had a healthy child. I am so afraid I won't. That gives me hope.

2 of my close girlfriends and I all had miscarriages and difficulty getting pregnant. Our babies are 10, 8, and 5 months old. 

It's not always easy getting there, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. 

If you have any infertility treatment q's, let me know. 

[VillainV]

((((Hugs))))) I'm SO sorry for your loss.

I was devastated for a while. I had trouble going to the grocery store and other public places with pregnant women and babies for a few weeks. Facebook was a minefield (I never realized how many of my friends were pregnant, and of course more seemed to come out of the woodwork to announce their pregnancies).

So...I dunno...3-4 months? And even then (heck, even now) I still have bad days and get really sad sometimes.

I found it really helpful to do some kind of memorial. My husband bought me a Pandora bracelet and we bought a birthstone charm for it. Since then we've added charms for important (happy) stuff, like our first anniversary, trips we've taken, etc. It's a reminder that life is full of both happy and sad memories, and it's okay to remember them alongside each other. Memorial jewelry is really popular...a lot of people get tattoos, plant flowers, or do something else to memorialize their loss. It seems to help.

((((hugs)))) again.

[lilybug]

(hug) (hug2)
I miscarried in January at 16w4d. I'm still sad about it, really sad, but each day is a little easier to live through than the last. Seeing pregnant women and newborns still gives me a pit in my stomach, but it's not the anger or jealousy that I felt right after losing her.

The best advice I got was to be gentle and patient with yourself. Take each day as it comes, don't force yourself to think about grieving long-term or "getting over it."

Lots of hugs and hair pets. Lean on us anytime, or pm me if you want. Sometimes it's easier (for me at least) to type things out than to talk IRL while trying not to get choked up.

[kcr1972]

I'm so sorry.

[cbwm1]

((((hugs))))

[sonrisa]

I'm sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

I was just speaking with two friends about this yesterday (we've all had miscarriages in the past 6 months). It got better week by week, but it was about 2 months for each of us before the worst past we were ready to think about trying again.

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here. A number of years ago I realized most women with children have also had a miscarriage at some point. Unfortunately, loss is often part of the process of motherhood, but isn't the only part.

[ginap]

I can't remember exactly how long but I just remember feeling better about it one day and then the day after, etc. I bought myself a little print that says "everything shapes us" and I bought a little pair of angel wings for the Christmas. I found out a month or so after my Mc that 3 of my friends were pregnant and due in the same month as I was and that was rough. I got pregnant 4 cycles later (my due date was a year to the day of my Mc) and have a sassy almost 2 year old. We didn't tell many people immediately but I am pretty open about it now. Be kind to yourself and heal at a pace that feels comfortable and know that there are lots of women who have been in your position and can lend an ear. Hugs.

[Jalapeñomel]

I'm so sorry.

[new2this]

Honestly, it took quite a while. Try not to put a deadline on it. I know it took me longer to deal with things than it has some of my friends who dealt with the same issue.

[Dusky]

I'm so sorry.

((hugs))

[missmaddie]

Hugs to you.

It was so hard, and I found the physical piece to be such a difficult reminder or how angry I was at my body (April 2010, 11 weeks along, and I bled/spotted for 5 weeks, then for another 2 weeks after D&C finally). As my body healed, my emotions did too, and when I got pregnant again 4 months later I did so without too much grief or worry. I will be honest, I only knew I was pregnant for a week before we lost that pregnancy too (Sept. 2010). For that one, I was just happy my body quickly recovered, so mentally it seemed "easier," BUT I tell you this because DH was VERY affected by the back-to-back losses, despite being my rock the first time around.

~HAPPY STORY NOW~ Just one cycle later I was pregnant with DS (Oct. 2010). Within 48 hours of the BFP I was puking so much I needed drugs and an IV in emerg, and DH and I were high 5'ing because hormonally everything was finally going strong, and betas were through the roof, etc. DS just turned 2 two weeks ago, and I still think about the losses regularly, but it doesn't hurt any more.

Jeez, that got long. Sorry. I just feel very strongly that we don't talk about this often enough IRL, and was floored by the number of women who told me their stories as/after it happened. I wish I had been aware of how many wonderful and strong mothers I knew who had been through this too.

[Saint Monica]

((specialk))

[rugbywife]

My m/c was on March 22nd...I think I started feeling considerably better by about 3 months, emotionally speaking. It doesn't bother me anymore like it used it. I am still sad because that's the only time we have managed to get pregnant and I wish I understood what went wrong, but I don't think about it every day anymore.

Hugs to you, even though people tell you things like it happens it lots of women, or at least you know you can get pregnant, those thoughts don't help to process the loss. You had already begun loving that baby and so the rest is irrelevant.

[Cricket0619]

I am really sorry. I hope that you start feeling better soon. I can't imagine the pain.

[karmasabiotch]

Hugs...

[badtzmaru22]

Jumping over from MM to offer some support. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I had a m/c in Feb 2011 after going through some IF issues. I was very depressed for about three months. I got pg again and still hated seeing pg ladies- even though I knew it was stupid and I didn't know their journey. I just felt like everyone got pg easily except me. It was really tough around my first edd, because a few friends/cousin gave birth then.

It does get easier, but you're entitled to your feelings. I just remember the weather starting to get better, and everyone around me was excited for spring, and I was literally cursing the sun. I probably should have been seeing a counselor. I did do acupuncture, and that really helped me relax, and I also believe it helped me get pg again fairly quickly.

Hang in there. ::hugs::

[sweetminnesnowtan]

So many hugs.

I MC'ed early last year. It took me awhile, honestly. It wasn't until my due date passed in the fall and then the dates associated with the MC early this year, that I was able to get over it for the most part and feel like I didn't have the important dates and milestones to deal with anymore.

But I will be honest. Until I got pregnant again, I wasn't really ever quite over it. Sad as that sounds. Now, I finally feel at peace.

I hope you can find it soon. But don't put a deadline on it, and let yourself grieve.

[awick14]

I mc in April and most days I'm ok, when I'm busy it seems like it never happened. As soon as I sit down and do nothing though it seems like it all comes back to me.

((Hugs))

[chickadee77]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm about four months out from my last loss, and I still get sad, bitter, angry... It's getting better, though. The anxiety that I was experiencing took about two months to start lessening.

Be careful when you drink - I've found that it really exacerbates my emotions (as I'm sure you already know).

My OB told me after my first loss that if i still felt like I was the bottom of a hole at six months, to call so she could help.

(((hugs))) Pregnancy loss sucks. Take care of yourself.

[evynsmama]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

M/C's are so awful and just not fair! Its something no woman should have to go through, but so many of us do

We lost a baby before DD and then recently lost a baby in February. With both losses it took me a couple months to get past the ragey feelings, I still cry from time to time about our recent loss, but that is more because it was a partial molar pregnancy and I am supposed to wait until October to TTC again and really I just want to get pregnant now and its frustrating having to wait.

I did play bunco last night with two new moms and two pregnant ladies and I was fine.

I hope you start to feel better soon and that you never have to got through this again.