Is this kid an asshole?

[speckledfrog]

Yes, but it's probably not her fault. Asshole kids are exhausting.

[CherHorowitz]

Yes, total asshole. Fo sho.

[Deleted]

I tend not to judge kids other than mine. I end up feeling like an asshole later (when my kids end up going through a similar phase) otherwise.

[Deleted]

Did you hang out with my SIL and her kid all week? Wait, she has 2 other ones just like it...

The parent is an asshole, sorry!

[Deleted]

Her parents are the assholes. The kids is just along for the ride.

[snickers]

Oh man, I'm not sure but it would sure as heck be annoying.

[tulip]

Yes, she is.

They aren't ever coming back, right??

[eddy]

Yup, asshole

At first when I was reading the whining part, I was like weellllll, but the rest of the stuff is unacceptable.

The whining is still going on in the eddy household with our 5 year old. It is better, but he certainly can get into a bad cycle.

But everything else, no. We give "one more time" on something like jumping off the board. Then that shit is done. And the feeding? No, homey don't play that.

And I am not even a hard ass. But yeah that behavior would make my head explode.

She sounds very indulged.

[redheadk]

It's a chicken or egg thing. The kid is likely a more difficult child but the parent doesn't help the situation by the lack of good discipline.

[cuddlyevil]

It doesn't sound like the kid's fault, but being around a kid like this would be insufferable.

[pantsparty]

The kid is an asshole. Clearly it's because of her mother.

[eddy]

DO you think they were just being relaxed because it was vacation? I certainly let a shit ton fly when we are on vacation as long as things don't get out of control. I am normally half buzzed so that has something to do with it lol.

[pinkeggs]

She is a spoiled brat whose parents are afraid to deal with her wrath when going against her. In a few years she will be full-on asshole.

[sonrisa]

Maybe. Or it's the parents. Or something else is going on.

We saw a friend's four year old the other day who used to be sweet and considerate. Now he screeches constantly, some growling, no words, and acts out in ways that my two year old wouldn't (and that would be age appropriate for a one year old). The parents mostly laughed it off and acted like it was normal. They used to care if he acts politely. I wondered if there is some sort of major health issue they aren't talking about.

[lilybug]

Yep, asshole. I want to be optimistic and say they might have been extra lenient since they were on vacation, but, uh... Probably not. I had to go back and keep re-reading "just turned 5" because everything you described sounded like a 2-3 y.o.

At dinner the other night, one couple was letting their 3 y.o. run around the entire restaurant, no discipline at all. I'm pretty sure they thought I was a Nazi for keeping my kids at the table. They even encouraged me to let D run around a bit, like I was hindering his development by not letting him wander.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2013 12:21:33 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I hate this child and I've never met her. God in heaven.

I have met her - she sounds exactly like one of my nieces. 

Only she's 7.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2013 12:21:56 GMT -5 @weeble said:

Her parents are the assholes. The kids is just along for the ride.

preeeee-cisely.

[lilybug]

Jul 22, 2013 12:44:28 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

Jul 22, 2013 12:41:08 GMT -5 lilybug said:

At dinner the other night, one couple was letting their 3 y.o. run around the entire restaurant, no discipline at all. I'm pretty sure they thought I was a Nazi for keeping my kids at the table. They even encouraged me to let D run around a bit, like I was hindering his development by not letting him wander.

I hate this and it is SO dangerous.  Piping hot soup or sharp steak knives don't do a toddler any favors when he darts in front of the waiter that's carrying a tray-full of both.

I hate it, too. It's a casual pizza joint and we were outdoors, so no one was too bothered, but their kid was wandering FAR - like, into the parking lot - and they'd call him back but do nothing to keep him there. At one point he even went up to a nearby table and was begging for bites of their dessert. I was embarrassed FOR them, but they were unfazed.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2013 12:52:18 GMT -5 cville said:

Jul 22, 2013 12:21:56 GMT -5 @weeble said:

Her parents are the assholes. The kids is just along for the ride.

preeeee-cisely.

Yep, yep, yep.

Ditto for my niece - except it's really SIL who is the asshole here. After years and years of being cock-blocked by SIL (and MIL!) if he deigned to try and discipline her, poor BIL gave up. 

I think the breaking point came when, at a Christmas gathering, niece, then 4, is  throwing a tantrum because after opening I don't know how many gifts, the end finally came and that wasn't ENOUGH for her greedy little ass. I'm talking kicking furniture, throwing things, etc.  BIL, very calmly, picks her thrashing self up and takes her back to her room, explaining she needed to calm down and be quiet for a few minutes. 

All goes quiet. DH and I are surreptitiously exchanging "Way to find your balls, BIL!" looks.

30 seconds pass...

SIL and MIL hot on her heels proceed to go down the hall and "free" niece with dagger eyes at BIL. 

Your friend is kind of an ass and she's raising a future asshole.

[Deleted]

eh, que, don't worry. your little one has iron fist response deep within her. it's just a veneer of bratty for a short time. i'll bet by friday she's back to normal.

[Deleted]

Quesera, I would be really pissed, too.

I honestly think I would limit my exposure to friend/kid as clearly this kid is not a positive influence in your child's life.

I have no choice about being around niece and when we have kids, it'll be the same, although when she acts up, I pretend she doesn't exist. When she is whining and tries to get me to acknowledge her, I simply say "I don't talk to little babies. I only talk to big girls."

[Deleted]

I vote that the parent's reaction to the behavior is the cause of the behavior. I have a hard time blaming a kid for something that they clearly have never been taught is not okay.

[Deleted]

I dread this with a friend of mine. Her DD is such a brat and pretty much runs the show. Mom never says no because she works FT and "wants their time together to be fun." She's pregnant again right now and I fear how much worse its going to get when their are 2 lil undisciplined hellions running around.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2013 13:58:55 GMT -5 Que? said:

Jul 22, 2013 13:41:29 GMT -5 @pixiechinchilla said:

I vote that the parent's reaction to the behavior is the cause of the behavior. I have a hard time blaming a kid for something that they clearly have never been taught is not okay.

Totally, but it does make the kid very unlike able and difficult to tolerate. Not the kid's fault, but an inevitable consequence for the parent.

Very true. I try really hard to not judge parents, since I am not one, but I was a preschool teacher for two years and it was really difficult to sit back and watch some of the kids interacting with their parents. There were a couple of kids in particular who drove me crazy with their behavior, and when I saw them with their parents it was like having an "ah-ha" moment of realization for why they thought they could get away with so much.

I agree with you that knowing why they behave that way doesn't make it any easier to be around them. Especially when their parent is around and you can't say anything to correct the behavior without offending them.

[sonrisa]

Jul 22, 2013 12:54:06 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Jul 22, 2013 12:34:17 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Maybe. Or it's the parents. Or something else is going on.

We saw a friend's four year old the other day who used to be sweet and considerate. Now he screeches constantly, some growling, no words, and acts out in ways that my two year old wouldn't (and that would be age appropriate for a one year old). The parents mostly laughed it off and acted like it was normal. They used to care if he acts politely. I wondered if there is some sort of major health issue they aren't talking about.

This almost sounds like Autism:(

Honestly, that was my fear. But I don't want to jump to labels yet. 

[eb777888]

I was recently around a snotty kid and it annoyed the hell out of me that the parents thought it was HILARIOUS! They always do. They think it's SO CHARMING. She is going to run all over them.

asshole
/gavel

[ginger]

All I'm going to say is we don't spend a lot of time with kids who are allowed to act like that....

[threejs]

I am fairly certain that my 5 year old only child doesn't act like this, but she did TOTALLY embarrass me at lunch with a girlfriend I hadn't seen in awhile and her 6 year old. I told her to do something and she told me no. I forget what it was. But I will admit that the look of disbelief that she would talk to me like that on my friend's and her son's faces probably made me react more strongly than I normally would have. Which then led me to wonder if other people see my kid being an asshole regularly and I just don't realize it. I most certainly wouldn't be feeding or helping her drink. We do 5 minute warnings when its time to go, and if she decides to act a fool I'll drag her little ass out of there pretty quickly and it will be awhile before she gets to go back. She DOES like to be the center of attention and I often feel like my H overly indulges that. My biggest fear is raising an entitled asshole.

[eb777888]

Jul 22, 2013 16:49:19 GMT -5 Que? said:

Jul 22, 2013 16:45:59 GMT -5 threejs said:

I am fairly certain that my 5 year old only child doesn't act like this, but she did TOTALLY embarrass me at lunch with a girlfriend I hadn't seen in awhile and her 6 year old. I told her to do something and she told me no. I forget what it was. But I will admit that the look of disbelief that she would talk to me like that on my friend's and her son's faces probably made me react more strongly than I normally would have. Which then led me to wonder if other people see my kid being an asshole regularly and I just don't realize it. I most certainly wouldn't be feeding or helping her drink. We do 5 minute warnings when its time to go, and if she decides to act a fool I'll drag her little ass out of there pretty quickly and it will be awhile before she gets to go back. She DOES like to be the center of attention and I often feel like my H overly indulges that. My biggest fear is raising an entitled asshole.

I think the gist of this post has been that the parent's reaction is more important than the kid's behaviour. My kid disrespects me and embarrasses me too, but I feel like I'm pretty consistent in my reactions, and that's all I can do.

Exactly. My kid does act like an asshole sometimes. Then he gets in trouble for it. The more he gets in trouble for acting like an asshole, the less of an asshole he is. Walla!