Post by formerlysome1else on Jun 17, 2012 6:35:40 GMT -5
We have to sell our TH before going our separate ways. We've decided that it should take at most 6 months to sell based on the rate the other THs are selling in my hood.
It's hard on me bc I want to move and start fresh. Stbx is a nice guy hes just horrible at being a husband and sends mixed signals all the time.
I know I need to get myself into therapy ASAP but do you guys have any other advice?
Post by formerlyknownasefl on Jun 17, 2012 11:33:53 GMT -5
My only advice is to get out. Do you have any family or good friends you can stay with until your house sells?
I had to stay in our house for 2 weeks once I told him I wanted a divorce and it was the most emotionally draining 2 weeks of my life. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But hey my ex was an emotionally abusive and manipulating liar. GL and keep us updated.
I second the moving out. He could be the second coming of Gandhi and it would still be emotionally draining as all hell to live with him. You need a fresh start, and to really do that, you need him to not be constantly present at home.
Post by phoenixrising on Jun 17, 2012 14:11:50 GMT -5
I remained in the house with my H for about 1.5 months before I was able to move out, and it sucked. However, I would not have been able to do it any other way because I needed time to figure out where I was going to go, and it served me fine at the time.
Not only did we stay in the same house for almost 5 months, we still slept in the same bed (DD would sleep with us at the time). Dysfunctional? Yes, but it worked for us. We were not intimate in any way just both really loved our bed and slept with a fan for white noise. We didn't hate each other, there was no abuse, cheating, or anything like that. We just didn't get along.
Post by theycallmeliz on Jun 18, 2012 8:51:10 GMT -5
If you can, I would try to find some kind of arrangement that would allow one, or both of you, to leave the home. Its only going to make things more confusing and emotional draining. Especially if your circumstances for calling it quits is anything more than completely amicable.
We lived together for about a month after we decided to divorce. I just moved last weekend. It was tough sometimes. Most of the time we slept in the same bed ( except for the nights he didn't come home). Do what you have to do, but it's better to get out.
I lived with my ex through out the entire process - from initial discussion of divorce to a month after the divorce was final. We slept in separate bedrooms. It was difficult at times for sure. I knew I was relocating out of state so I needed time to get things in order and had no one to move in with.
Yes, and as a matter of fact we've been divorced since June 4th and STILL live together. Ideal? No, of course not. It's uncomfortable for both of us, but we owe more on our house than its worth and before my mortgage company would even consider doing a hardship for me so that I can afford to live there on my own, we needed the divorce decree in hand. So we separated in September 2011 and as of right now, still live together. He just found an apt and is moving out in a wk or two though. It's not easy.. but we set up a scheduled where we'd take turns leaving the house on certain nights to give each other space. I'd go to the gym and to my friend's house for a little while.. just to get away from him. It made it easier for us ... and also for my son, who has gotten used to doing things with us separately and for one of us to be alone with him most of the time. If you can't feasibly move out, I suggest you get out as much as you can. And therapy too.. of course. Good luck!