NBR: What would you say to teen girls

[bookbunny]

about the subject "It's a Facebook status, not your diary"?

I'm leading a Girls' Empowerment retreat this summer for 6-8 high school girls. I will be leading a discussion on using discernment when sharing on social media (not posting your every thought on FB) and choosing other options sometimes, like writing in a journal, talking to a trusted adult, or praying/meditating/thinking instead. I will be giving them each a journal and pen, and encouraging them to write their thoughts and feelings in there for the weekend, and learn to ask themselves "does this thought need to be posted on a social media site, or can I vent/process my feelings in a different way".

I also want them to think about the consequences of over-sharing (the internet doesn't forget, people who they don't know are watching could be watching, etc). And I want to address the gossip/drama that my girls have been known to participate in sometimes, and encourage them to respect and value other women instead of tearing them down.

I know there are some very smart ladies here, so I'm hoping you can help me come up with some ideas. Is there anything you think should be addressed under that topic? Any suggestions or insight, any activities or advice you would include?

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it!

[mayflowers22]

I would tell them that Facebook is for quick updates, diaries are for your feelings.

[writingwithheld]

Perhaps you could tell them to go through their friends list before every status to see if they really want every single person to know what they are about to say. If they don't have their profiles on the highest privacy settings, also add in "your teacher, your grandma, your future boss" etc. Hopefully they will only have to do it a few times to get the hint.

Or, you could advise them to add in a wait time. Write what they want to make a status updater in a journal and wait 24 hours to see if they still want to post it. If it really is a quick update it should still be relevant in a day.

[imoan]

I like the thing that my mom used to tell me, even before the advent of Facebook:

"Don't put anything on the internet that you wouldn't want seen on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow morning."

I'd also say something about how what you put on the internet is forever... and in a few years, they're going to be looking for jobs. It'll take a quick Google search to find all this personal information they were stupid enough to put on Facebook. It could potentially ruin their careers before they start.

[Deleted]

"If you wouldn't tell your grandma what you are about to post, don't post it." They may be getting married in 10 years and grandma's friend may be searching for a wedding announcement and come across a facebook status.

[Deleted]

In regards to girl drama, etc. ---Have you heard about the Kind Campaign? Or the film Finding Kind? www.kindcampaign.com/ It's basically all about that. I dont know if you would have time to arrange it by then, but it is great. We showed it at the school where I teach to 6-8th grade girls and it had a huge impact on some of them, including some of my 6th graders. I imagine with older girls it would be even better. It's all about changing the way girls treat each other.

here's the website about the film findingkind.indieflix.com/home/

[GilliC]

My personal opinion is that your Facebook status shouldn't contain anything that you wouldn't put in a Christmas letter going out to all of your friends, family, and colleagues.

(This also cuts down on the "I woke up at 6am." "I had cereal for breakfast." "Headed to the bus stop." "I see my friends!" kind of over-posting.)

Jun 18, 2012 8:09:34 GMT -5 imoan said:

"Don't put anything on the internet that you wouldn't want seen on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow morning."

Learned this one the hard way. I was having a heated discussion with a friend via Twitter a few weeks ago. The next day one of my tweets was quoted with my full name by an international newspaper piece on the subject. Thank heavens they used my more eloquent quote, but it was very disturbing to see a personal conversation repeated in an international publication.

[imoan]

GilliC... One of the posts that my friend (Hindsight) made on The Nest made it to onto a freakin' MSNBC.com article about 2 months ago. Proves that nowhere is safe when it comes to the Internet.