Oh, and when he (rarely) cleans the kitchen he only does the dishwasher, no wiping counters or hand washing pots. And then he feigns incompetence. He was a dishwasher at a restaurant for 3 years in high school!!
I am LOL at these and maybe shedding a tear or two.
I think all of us should be nominated for sainthood.
Whenever he makes a bowl of cereal, sandwich, gets chips, etc., he leave the box, bread, container, etc. on the countertop - mere inches from inside the cupboard WHERE THEY BELONG.
Ditto for his brush/comb/gel, etc. - all over the bathroom sink.
He'll offer to do the dishes or some other task and 5 days later (yes, I said DAYS) still not done.
He takes 30 minutes to tell a story that should take 2, tops.
The minute he gets home from work, he immediately strips down to his t-shirt and boxer briefs. Um, can I at least enjoy you all-spiffied-up for a measely 5 minutes?
Post by shostakovich on Aug 1, 2013 16:08:09 GMT -5
Okay, I will admit that I am one of those "doesn't shut the cupboard doors/drawers" people.
I'll try to explain it: I'm in the middle of doing something, and realize that I need scissors to complete this something. So, I head to the kitchen, open the drawer, grab the scissors. My mind is telling me hey shostakovich, don't even worry about that drawer - you're just going to have to open it again to return the scissors, so you might as well leave it open now! And I'm like, "Great point, brain!" and I leave the drawer open. The same thought-process happens when I'm cooking or working in the kitchen, because chances are I'm just going to have to open the cupboard or drawer again in a few minutes.
Additionally, sometimes People's Court is on commercial, and I'm going to quick run to the kitchen to make a snack, and I'm too lazy to shut the cupboards because (a) People's Court is about to come back on, and (b) I now have a snack which must be eaten immediately.
My H says that living with me is like living in The Sixth Sense.
Makes little smacky noises before bed his daughter does the same thing so it's some freaky habit. But while it is ok on her I am constantly saying "omg can I get you some water?" He also has destroyed three of our pots when he is boiling things. He forgets to check them and it burns to the bottom. Good we don't have fancy cookware. (But I a,m sooo thankful for his help in the kitchen)
Post by sherbanator on Aug 1, 2013 16:20:31 GMT -5
He needs variety. Numerous open types of cereal, milk, toothpaste, face wash, mouth wash, etc. He is the exact opposite of my finish off one thing before opening another personality.
He asked me not to do his laundry yet he doesn't get to his laundry in the timely manner that I want him to, lol.
He has glasses of water around the house in all of the places he frequents. He calls them water checkpoints and drinks from all the glasses throughout the day. That one cracks me up.
Overall, none of these really annoy me. Those are the things I like to give him a hard time about.
I'm just going to say "ditto" because my husband does 98% of these...
Mine too. He's a slob. If I ask him to put something away, he puts it "up," meaning, out of the kids' reaches. But now I've got duct tape and a wrench on top of the tv, shoes behind the couch, and a BB gun from his childhood on the armoire.
And, despite many reminders, he cannot figure out my very simple laundry system.
He needs variety. Numerous open types of cereal, milk, toothpaste, face wash, mouth wash, etc. He is the exact opposite of my finish off one thing before opening another personality.
He asked me not to do his laundry yet he doesn't get to his laundry in the timely manner that I want him to, lol.
He has glasses of water around the house in all of the places he frequents. He calls them water checkpoints and drinks from all the glasses throughout the day. That one cracks me up.
Overall, none of these really annoy me. Those are the things I like to give him a hard time about.
He doesn't dry himself properly before walking around after the shower, leaving puddles all over the bathroom floor.
Oh.My.God. My H does this too and it makes me effing batty! When I complain about it, he says "but that's what the bath mat is for." Uhhh, no. Now the bath mat is soaked and there's water all over the place!
I am laughing so hard. Even though I'm so, so guilty of some of them -- "soaking" dishes, etc.
When my dog is shedding, I pull handfuls of tufts off him and sometimes I forget to throw them away, and it's just a rat-sized pile of dog-fur on the floor. He HATES that.
As far as DH -- he cannot stand silence. I prefer silence as a default. As soon as he walks in the door, the TV goes on until we go to sleep. He turns on his bedside radio, then LEAVES THE ROOM. It drives me nuts! I walk in and the radio is blaring and he's not even in there! So I turn it off. Eventually he comes back in and turns it back on.
strips his works clothes off in the living room and leaves them on the dogs bed (it's beside his computer). He chews loud He always puts the cup I am using in the dishwasher lol
1). He takes the toilet paper roll off the rod to use it. NEVER puts it back. Oh and if there's only 1/2 a roll left he will start a new one and leave it on the counter.
2). Leaves his pop cans on the counter claiming he's "not finished" with the empty can.
3). Tosses his socks on the floor BESIDE the hamper claiming he's wearing them again tomorrow. This is never thr case. RAGE!
Post by amberlyrose on Aug 1, 2013 17:16:53 GMT -5
He takes off his shoes and just leaves them wherever he takes them off. We have a small entry and it creates havoc every fucking time.
He will grab a new drink every time he gets up while we're watching TV and eating dinner. Once, he had a beer, glass of water, and a soda open in front of him. WHY?! Did you really forget you got a drink 5 min ago?
He leaves the clumps of the toothpaste spit in the sink. It is disgusting.
Oh and he can never find ANYTHING! I think this is a common male defective trait.
This morning:
DH: Honey, where's the hair dryer (don't ask) Me: On top of the thing over here DH: ::walks in room. Looks on the FLOOR. Looks on the FLOOR in a second spot:: I don't see it. Me: No it's on top of the dresser!! DH: Oh, we'll that's not what you said.
He takes off his shoes and just leaves them wherever he takes them off. We have a small entry and it creates havoc every fucking time.
He will grab a new drink every time he gets up while we're watching TV and eating dinner. Once, he had a beer, glass of water, and a soda open in front of him. WHY?! Did you really forget you got a drink 5 min ago?
He leaves the clumps of the toothpaste spit in the sink. It is disgusting.
Oh the shoes! He steps out of them right into the house. We leave ours in the garage so when I leave the house, I almost always trip on them.
Ditto to the toothpaste spit. Oh and water all around the sink and on the floor.
Post by EllieArroway on Aug 1, 2013 17:25:03 GMT -5
He uses the kitchen hand towel to clean a spill and then hangs it back up, so the next time I go to dry my hands the towel is covered in crusty tomato sauce or something. RAGE.
He has a hamper for his dirty clothes, but puts them on the floor in a giant pile next to the hamper. And then when I pick them up and put them in the hamper to vacuum or whatever, he tells me I'm messing with his system because they were sorted. WHAT?
There is a system though! Closet = for 100% clean clothes Hamper = for 100% dirty clothes Floor = for clothes that have been worn, but can be worn again, 1-99% dirty
1. After using a towel to dry off, he puts it on TOP of the laundry hamper. Apparently it's just too hard to open the fucking hamper and put the towel inside. He only does this with towels. 2. He leaves all the lights and the television on when he leaves the house. 3. He waits until after I've gone grocery shopping to ask me if I bought <insert random item here> 4. He refuses to write out checks to pay stuff like property taxes & the water bill (We can't pay electronically) 5. He cannot have less than a certain amount of cash on him at all times. 6. He doesn't use his blinker. 7. When he does laundry he puts his stuff away but leaves my stuff draped all over the bed. It's like a Flat Stanley on my bed except there's no Stanley. 8. He leaves the arm rest up after driving my car. I never use the armrest. It's always down. Unless he uses my car. 9. He leaves the volume set at "bleeding ear" level when he turns the TV off and so the next day when I turn it on, it's so loud, it makes me jump out of my skin. 10. He uses upper case letters when he shouldn't. Example, he left me a note that said "Tigers are playing at 1" and in his printing it looked like this: "TigeRs ARe plAYing At 1"
Post by BunnyMacDougal on Aug 1, 2013 17:40:20 GMT -5
Omg I had to explain then to H why I burst out laughing. And also hint at the fact that nothing he does makes me feel quite like the gif. BWAHAHAHAHA good one!
He does though. Nothing is coming to mind, but give me few minutes.
If the dish is not in the sink (because there wasn't room for it) he just leaves it on the counter and doesn't wash it with the rest of the dishes and doesn't put it in the sink when he's done, it is like if it isn't directly in front of him then he just can't see it/wash it
Oh! And, when he says he will clean up after a meal, and 4 hours later everything is exactly the same as when I finished cooking. This seriously fills me with rage to the point that when I was on bed rest, he rearranged the furniture so I couldn't see into the kitchen from the living room. Apparently, that was easier than just cleaning up the damn kitchen in a timely manner,
When I had a sprained ankle and couldn't walk for two weeks the kitchen was a terrible horrible mess. Piles of dirty dishes on every available surface with crumbs galore. I was so excited to walk again in part so the kitchen would never look that bad again. *shudder*
He puts dirty dishes in the sink or the counter above the dishwasher. He doesn't even look to see if it's clean/dirty. Just lazy. Ugh.
Also when he uses up the toilet paper roll he puts it on the sink counter. The garbage is right underneath the toilet paper holder. Does not compute.
He puts his dirty clothes next to the hamper or in a pile on his side of the bed. I told him the clothes won't get washed unless they're in the hamper so he's improved somewhat.
He sets his alarm purposely early, it's REALLY fucking loud, and he doesn't turn it off. He just goes back to sleep.
One day, I will kill him, and no jury will convict me.
years ago, when we were young and more excitable, dh would set the alarm for an HOUR before he had to get up. and then, he'd hit snooze six fucking times. He had to be at work at 5 30 am, so this was the middle of the goddamn night. I asked and asked and asked, please, either get up on the first one or set the clock to wake you up with no 'snooze' ing allowed. So then he started changin the time on the clock so it appeared to be an hour later than it was when it first rang. So it rings, I get up, because its an hour later, right? except no, it's not, its four fucking thirty. I unplugged the clock, took it outside, put it in a bucket, and filled it with water. Then I went back inside, went back to bed, and waited there in the dark for him to wake up. Which he did, way late for work that am. He was all mad, that I made him late for work. I said UH NO. I saved your fucking life by getting rid of that clock and if you ever set an alarm for a time you don't have to get up again I'll KILL YOU IN THE NIGHT YOU BASTARD.
He never did it again.
My H use to do the same thing. I broke him of that fast. He would just fall back asleep between snoozes while I'd be laying there wide awake at 6am or earlier for no effing reason! Now he gets one snooze when we snuggle half awake. It's a nice way to start the day.
He sets his alarm purposely early, it's REALLY fucking loud, and he doesn't turn it off. He just goes back to sleep.
One day, I will kill him, and no jury will convict me.
years ago, when we were young and more excitable, dh would set the alarm for an HOUR before he had to get up. and then, he'd hit snooze six fucking times. He had to be at work at 5 30 am, so this was the middle of the goddamn night. I asked and asked and asked, please, either get up on the first one or set the clock to wake you up with no 'snooze' ing allowed. So then he started changin the time on the clock so it appeared to be an hour later than it was when it first rang. So it rings, I get up, because its an hour later, right? except no, it's not, its four fucking thirty. I unplugged the clock, took it outside, put it in a bucket, and filled it with water. Then I went back inside, went back to bed, and waited there in the dark for him to wake up. Which he did, way late for work that am. He was all mad, that I made him late for work. I said UH NO. I saved your fucking life by getting rid of that clock and if you ever set an alarm for a time you dont have to get up again I'll KILL YOU IN THE NIGHT YOU BASTARD.
Leaves shoes all over the house. Doesn't even know where the vacuum cleaner is. Never does laundry. Leaves bits of trash all over the house rather than putting it in the garbage. Stacks water cups on the bedside table until there is no more room for them.
Oh wait, those are all me. Ummmm, he chews ice. Bastard.
When he talks on the phone, he paces all over the house and turns on every gahd damned light, and doesn't turn them off. He also TALKS REALLY LOUD because apparently if you're on a cell phone, NO ONE can hear you.
One of the coolest things about having a kid... our anal little kid goes and shuts them behind him. And kind of loudly.
He's actually gotten a little better since she follows behind slamming the cupboards shut. There are still days I walk though and see all the upper cupboards she can't shut are allllllll open. WTF?
*note, I'm SURE i have other ones, but that was the first one that popped into my mind. I might not smash him over it, but if I'm annoyed as fuck about other stuff, it's one of those last straw kind of things.
Oh and he is always looking for his damn keys and wallet. WTF? Keep them in ONE place!(and asks me about them... I totally stopped helping him look a few years ago.)
I think we are sister wives and just didn't know it.